我們幫人，幫到的其實非常有限
為什麼？ 我們並無法掌控別人
就算我們捆綁別人，僅僅只能控制他們的身體，但永遠不能控制到他們的心
這顆心啊，受到業力的支配。
當惡業成熟時，壞的可以看成好，好的可以看成壞；但仍可以堅信自己是正確的
就例如佛陀時代suppavāsaṃ 女居士懷著 sīvali 時，痛苦懷胎七年，到最後胎兒滯留腹中七日，幾經劇痛，才順利誕下sīvali
這般的痛苦原來是過去世作皇母時獻策圍城斷糧之業而造成的。
誕下兒子後，見到兒子一生下來就和舍利佛尊者聊天，便感到非常滿意。
被佛陀問到如果還要經歷這樣的痛苦，還要再生嗎？她便答：「世尊，若得七個這般兒子，我亦情願！」
所以當冒業時，我們的判斷會完全顛倒的。
就算別人說得多麼有道理，依然聽不入耳。
除非我們有如佛陀的一切知智，可以直切核心；不然大多數時候，我們根本無法對別人作出實質的幫助。
能幫到的只有陪伴和鼓勵
因此應對此現象感到中捨和平靜，此為捨心～
Our Ability to Help Others Is Actually Very Limited
Why? Because we have no control over others.
Even if we were to physically restrain someone, we could only control their body—never their mind.
The mind is governed by kamma (karma).
When unwholesome kamma ripens, bad can appear good, and good can appear bad—yet one may still stubbornly believe they are right.
For example, during the Buddha’s time, the laywoman Suppavāsā carried Sīvali in her womb for seven painful years, followed by seven excruciating days of obstructed labor before finally giving birth.
This immense suffering was the result of a past life when, as a queen mother, she had advised besieging a city and starving its people.
Yet after her son was born, he miraculously speaking to Venerable Sāriputta moments after —she felt nothing but joy.
When the Buddha asked if she would willingly endure such suffering again for another child, she replied:
"Lord, even if I had to bear seven such sons, I would gladly do so!"
This shows how deluded we become when kamma takes effect—no matter how reasonable others’ advice may be, we simply cannot hear it.
Unless we possess the all-knowing wisdom of a Buddha, allowing us to reach the core directly, our ability to truly help others is limited.
The most we can offer is companionship and encouragement.
Thus, we should meet such situations with equanimity and calm—this is the spirit of upekkhā
如果我們是已婚人士，相信情史也是很精彩的😂
試回想年輕時，我們愛上了這個男人
父母反對，我們真的會聽嗎？我們會立即分手嗎？
有許多都不會，會的就真的很乖很孝順了
就算帶著男朋友去見家長，也僅僅是給父母見一見：’拿！給你們見而已，不輪到你們話事！‘
對嗎？許多人都是這樣的😂
同樣地，我們想要幫助別人，向別人提供建議
別人很大機會不會聽的
要不然我們全都不叫’五取蘊‘了！
五取蘊就是有執取在裡面，執著自己的見解、 意見、 主張為’我的‘
如果沒有執著，就是阿羅漢了，就僅僅是五蘊
唉！我們都這樣啦！別人不聽我們時我們有什麼資格生氣？
我們保持平靜和中立，不起任何情緒，這個就叫做捨心
If we're married, our romantic history is probably quite "colorful" too, isn't it? 😂
Think back to when we were young and fell in love with a guy—did we really listen when our parents objected? Did we immediately break up?
Most of us didn’t. Those who did were extremely obedient and filial. 😂
Even if we brought our boyfriend to meet our parents, it was mostly just for show: "Here, take a look—but you don’t get a say!"
Right? That’s how most of us were. 😂
Similarly, when we try to help others by giving advice,
chances are, they won’t listen.
Otherwise, we wouldn’t all be called "the five aggregates subject to clinging"!
The very nature of upādānakkhandha (clinging aggregates) means we’re attached—to our views, opinions, and believe them as "mine."
If we weren’t clinging, we’d be arahants—just the five aggregates, free from attachment.
Sigh… we’re all like this! So when others ignore our advice, what right do we have to get angry?
Staying calm and neutral, free from emotional reactions—that’s what we call equanimity (upekkhā).