When you get into deep meditation, these five hindrances disappear, and one of the ones which disappears—which I think is the most interesting and fascinating of these five hindrances—is doubt. I say that because for years and years and years, I didn’t understand what doubt actually is.

Sometimes you know you have memories, but was that accurate or not? But when you have an experience of a deep meditation, it’s so clear. It leaves a very, very powerful imprint on your mind. You can recall it just so easily, much more easily than ordinary memories, because the hindrance of doubt has been eradicated for many, many hours. And that was a kind of a strange part of these five hindrances which took a long time for me to really get my mind around and understand it.

When those hindrances are disappeared, the only word which I can use—the only English word which is remotely similar but is still not good enough—is like a trauma. If you’ve ever had a deep trauma, you’ve been very close to death, then sometimes you can’t get it out of your mind. It’s so easy to recall. Ordinary memories are not as recallable. But this is what happens also when you have no dangerous experiences, but incredibly pleasant experiences. The pleasure, the power of these deep meditations, are so great that you can just turn your mind to them, and they’re right there back again—not just being right inside them, but actually you can get all the details back so easily.

And that’s a wonderful thing to know, because it means you don’t have to worry: “I better sort of think about this and work it out now because I might forget it later on.” If it really is a deep meditation, you can’t forget. You can recall it so easily, and you know what you recall is so accurate.

Okay, I'll tell this story—that I've got to be very careful, you know, with personal experiences. I have to be careful because it's against our Vinaya rules for monks and nuns as well. But I've told this little anecdote many times, so you know it is just inside the rules. I know all the loopholes. That's why I studied the Vinaya—that's where I learned my pali. Because I know all the loopholes and how far I can go and how I can't go.

So this was one of those early times over here in Bodhinyana Monastery. I had a nice meditation, and as I was coming out afterwards, I had this kind of insight—the insights come from nowhere, and I don't know why I had this idea. It was: "What is my earliest memory?" That anecdote I've said many times. And because my mind was just so clear, when I asked myself, "What is my earliest memory?" straight away I had—as I mentioned—that you can recall it so easily. You don't have to think; you just point your mind to that experience so many years ago, and it's straight back in your head. And first, immediately when I said that, I had this smell in my nose—not a sight, not a physical feeling, but a smell. And the odor was of my baby’s pram when I was only a few weeks old. I hadn't studied medicine or what happens to kids as they grow up and how their brain develops, but it was a smell—immediate recognition. That’s the pram in which I grew up in the first weeks of my life. It's a pretty early memory, qualifies.

And then the interesting thing was—you could, I could explore it now. It's almost like as soon as I recognized, "That's me, my baby's pram," it was like I was back in there again. I remember just like crawling under the covers, feeling them, seeing their colors, and what else was in there. You could do that. Kind of weird, but you remembered everything. My pram—my parents were poor, but it was just, you know, a black and a few light white sheets. But the one thing which I always remember: they had my favorite toy in that pram, which was this light blue—I still don't know if it was porcelain or plastic, probably plastic—little pig. And I still remember the name which my mother used to call it: Porky. The original! But I still remember that. And it had little beans or something inside it, and she would shake it, which delighted me for some reason.

But also that was just sound and sight. But what really I was fascinated with: I knew my pram, and I knew my mother not by how she looked, but by how she smelt. Isn't it like a sort of a dog? The smell is just so prominent. As a baby in those first weeks of life, the smell was the most prominent of the senses. And it was that particular experience which, when I told others what had happened, they were fascinated because I never was taught that before—that smell is just how babies find their way around their sort of environment, their loved ones. But that's what I found out. And people who know more than I know about the development of a brain of a baby said that's totally correct. Early days of your life, your sense of smell is a dominant sense.

So I say that to any mothers who've just got a very young kid: please don't change your perfume. It will confuse everything about your kids' recognition of you. There's lots of other stories, but the main part of that story was I can recall it even now—the memory of it is so long-lasting and clear, and you know you're not imagining this. Imaginations are totally different; this is like a clear memory. That's the same with anybody else who goes deeper into "What's your earliest memory? Earlier, please," and get into past life or between-life memories. You're not making this up.

It's hard to convince people of this who don't even believe it's possible—"I don't believe in rebirth and previous lives." But if you look at that quality of that memory, even the quality of the experience, it's just without any doubt—that hindrance has been suppressed for a while. Well, that means you don't have to think about what's happening; enjoy the experience, which is fascinating. And number two, you know that what you experience you can recall so easily. When you come out of these meditations, then you can ask the questions. Then you can use that mind of analyzing, exploring, because you've gathered the material. Now you can test it. Does that make sense to you? It's a great relief to me to know just how true that is. And so you don't have to go thinking and disturbing the meditation—get some more details.

And also just to let you know—when I've been teaching this for so many years—that sometimes I remember just one gentleman. He said, "Ajahn, please don't teach that anymore to lay people." I said, "Why?" And he said because he got, you know, his early memories when he was a baby, and he said, "Earlier, please," then he got some very unpleasant experiences of him dying. And I apologized to him and said, "I should have figured that one out. When you go 'earlier, please,' what's the most powerful experience you've had in your previous life? Usually your death moments—or actually just before your death moments—because dying is often because of some painful sickness or because of some accident." And if you start recording the painful experiences, that's hard to bear. It really is like you're back in there; it's happening to you; it's real.

So don't be concerned. Just if that ever happens, tell yourself, "Earlier, please." In that state of mind—you just out of meditation, but you still have the power of the mind—you'll be amazed at just how the mind just behaves. You just say, "Earlier, please," and it goes earlier. It doesn't sort of—you don't force it. If you have to force anything, it's not real. Just a quick suggestion, "Earlier, please," and you just go back earlier. So you can still have these amazing experiences, and you can prove for yourself that rebirth actually happened—you have lived before. Sometimes people say, "Show us the proof." This is how you see the proof. So anyway, this is how to deal with this.

----Ajahn Brahm

2025 April (5/19) | 9 day Retreat | Ajahn Brahm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ODItjJlUxM&list=PLf9HOK_Rf1M4Imi4ppID6Rb9NScchKviX&index=5

當你進入深度禪定時，這五種障礙（五蓋）便會消失。其中我認為最有趣且最引人入勝的，就是「疑」的消失。我這樣說是因為，在許多年裡，我一直不明白「疑」的真正本質是什麼。

有時候，你明明知道自己有記憶，但那些記憶真的準確嗎？然而，當你經歷一次深度禪修時，那體驗是如此清晰。它會在你的心中留下非常、非常強烈的印記。你可以極其輕易地回憶起它，比回憶普通記憶容易得多——因為「疑」的障礙已經被根除好幾個小時了。這五蓋中的「疑」，曾花了我很長的時間才能真正理解與領會。

當這些障礙消失後，唯一能形容這種狀態的英文詞彙——雖有些類似但仍不足以完全表達——就像「創傷」。如果你曾經歷深刻的創傷，例如瀕臨死亡，有時那記憶便會縈繞不去，異常容易被喚起。普通的記憶並沒有這麼強的再現力。但這同樣也會發生在並非危險、而是極度愉悅的體驗中。深度禪修所帶來的愉悅與力量是如此強大，只要你將心轉向它，它就會立刻完整重現——不僅僅是感受到它，你實際上可以輕鬆地回想起所有細節。

這是一件值得了解的奇妙之事，因為這意味著你不必擔心：「我最好現在好好思考、理清這些，以免之後忘記。」如果那真的是深刻的禪修體驗，你絕不會忘記。你可以如此輕易地憶起，並且知道你所回憶的內容是如此精準。

好的，我來說這個故事——我必須非常小心，你知道的，關於個人體驗的部分。我得謹慎，因為這會違反了我們比丘和比丘尼的戒律。不過這個小故事我已經講過很多次了，所以你知道這還在界線之內。我清楚所有的「漏洞」。這就是為什麼我研讀戒律——我在那裡學到了我的巴利文。因為我了解所有的漏洞，知道可以說到什麼程度，以及什麼不能說。

這是在菩提雅納寺早期發生的一件事。有一次很好的禪修，結束後我正出來時，突然有了一個領悟——這種領悟不知從何而來，我也不知道為什麼會冒出這個念頭。那就是：「我最早的記憶是什麼？」這個故事我講過很多次了。因為當時我的心非常清明，當我問自己「我最早的記憶是什麼？」時，立刻就——就像我提過的——你能非常輕易地憶起。你不需要思考；你只需將心指向那麼多年前的體驗，它就立刻回到你的腦海中。首先，當我這麼一問，我立刻聞到一種氣味——不是景象，不是身體感覺，而是氣味。那個氣味，是我嬰兒時期的嬰兒車的味道，那時我才幾週大。我沒有學過醫學，也不了解孩子成長過程中會發生什麼、大腦如何發育，但那是一種氣味——立刻就能辨認出來。那就是我生命最初幾週所待的嬰兒車。這算是非常早期的記憶，夠格了。

接著有趣的是——你可以，我當時可以進一步探索它。幾乎就在我認出「那就是我，我的嬰兒車」的瞬間，我彷彿又回到了那裡。我記得當時就像在毯子底下爬動，感受它們，看到它們的顏色，以及那裡還有什麼。你可以做到這樣。有點奇怪，但你記起了所有細節。我的嬰兒車——我家境貧窮，它就只是，你知道的，黑色的，鋪了幾條淺白色的毯子。但我一直記得的一件事是：他們在那輛嬰兒車裡放了我最喜歡的玩具，那是一隻淺藍色的——我到現在還不確定是陶瓷還是塑膠，大概是塑膠的——小豬。我仍然記得我母親叫它的名字：Porky。原版的那個！但我還記得那個。它裡面裝了小豆子之類的東西，她會搖晃它，不知道為什麼這讓我非常開心。

但那只是聲音和影像。真正讓我著迷的是：我認得我的嬰兒車，我認得我的母親，不是憑她的樣貌，而是憑她的氣味。這不是很像狗那樣嗎？氣味就是如此突出。作為生命最初幾週的嬰兒，嗅覺是所有感官中最突出的。正是這個特別的體驗，當我告訴別人發生了什麼事時，他們都覺得很神奇，因為我以前從沒被教過——氣味就是嬰兒認識周遭環境、辨認親人的方式。但這是我自己發現的。而那些對嬰兒大腦發展比我了解更多的人說，這完全正確。在你生命的最初階段，你的嗅覺是主導的感官。

所以我要對任何剛有新生兒的母親說：請不要更換你的香水。這會完全混亂你的孩子對你的辨認。還有很多其他故事，但這個故事的主要部分是，我直到現在還能回憶起來——那段記憶是如此持久且清晰，而且你知道你不是在幻想。幻想是完全不同的；這就像清晰的記憶。對於任何更深入探索「你最早的記憶是什麼？再早一點，請說」並進入前世或生與生之間記憶的人來說，情況也是一樣的。你不是在編造。

很難讓那些甚至不相信這可能的人信服——「我不相信輪迴和前世」。但如果你仔細審視那段記憶的品質，甚至那段體驗的品質，它就是毫無疑問——那種懷疑的障礙已經被抑制了一段時間。嗯，這意味著你不需要去思考正在發生什麼；享受這段體驗吧，這非常迷人。第二，你知道你所經歷的，可以如此輕易地回憶起來。當你從這些禪修中出來後，你就可以提問。然後你可以運用那顆分析、探索的心，因為你已經收集了材料。現在你可以驗證它。這對你有意義嗎？對我來說，知道這是多麼真實，是一種極大的安慰。因此，你不必在禪修中不斷思考並打擾它——去獲取更多細節吧。

另外也想讓你知道——在我教授這個方法這麼多年後——我有時會想起一位男士。他說：「尊者，請不要再對在家人教這個了。」我問：「為什麼？」他說因為他觸及了，你知道的，他嬰兒時期的早期記憶，然後他說「再早一點，請說」，接著他經歷了一些他自己死亡的非常不愉快的體驗。我向他道歉並說：「我應該想到這一點的。當你問『再早一點，請說』時，你在前世最強烈的體驗是什麼？通常是你死亡的時刻——或者實際上就在死亡之前——因為死亡常常是由於某種痛苦的疾病或某種意外。」如果你開始記錄那些痛苦的體驗，那會很難承受。那真的就像你回到了當時；它正在發生在你身上；它是真實的。

所以不用擔心。如果這種情況真的發生，只要告訴自己：「再早一點，請說。」在那種心境下——你剛結束禪修，但心仍保有力量——你會驚訝於心識的自然運作。你只要說「再早一點，請說」，它就會往前。並不是——你不需要強迫它。如果你需要強迫任何事，那就不真實了。只是一個快速的建議，「再早一點，請說」，你就會回到更早的時刻。所以你仍然可以擁有這些奇妙的體驗，而且你可以親自證明輪迴確實發生過——你曾經活過。有時人們說：「給我們看證據。」這就是你看到證據的方式。總之，這就是處理這類情況的方法。

——阿姜布拉姆 

2025年4月（5/19）| 阿姜布拉姆九日禪修講座 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ODItjJlUxM&list=PLf9HOK_Rf1M4Imi4ppID6Rb9NScchKviX&index=5