就好像整幅墻有一千塊磚頭

但是其中有兩塊壞了，於是有些人著眼於這兩塊磚頭，便感到很沮喪

但有智慧的人，卻看到另外998塊完好無缺的磚頭，所以大致感到滿意

同樣地，我們都曾做過大大小小的錯，但這就是失敗的人生了嗎？

當然不。

我們還做了許多很好的事情，可能比錯事還要多

所以我們應該專注於自己和別人好的一面，多些寬恕自己和別人

如此，同時也能減輕自己不斷的愧疚

It is as if an entire wall has a thousand bricks, 

but two of them are damaged. Some people focus on these two bricks and become very discouraged. 

But wise individuals see the other 998 intact bricks and feel largely content. 

Similarly, we have all made mistakes, big and small, but does that mean we have failed at life? 

Of course not. 

We have also done many good things, likely more than our mistakes. 

Therefore, we should focus on the good in ourselves and others, and practice forgiveness toward ourselves and others more often. 

In doing so, we can also alleviate our own constant feelings of guilt. 

Devotee: How to forgive and let go of the past—of our own mistakes and the people we hurt?

Ajahn Brahm: If you can let go, great. If you don't let go, you become a prisoner of the past. There's no freedom there at all.

There's one person who tells these wonderful stories of forgiveness. One that somebody showed me recently was of this lady who was a twin. She and her sister, instead of being sent straight to the gas chambers, were taken aside to be experimented on by Dr. Mengele. It was incredibly painful what they did to them, and her sister died. She somehow survived.

After the Second World War, she carried so much hatred and ill will, wanting revenge for these incredibly sadistic German doctors who were responsible for killing her twin sister and causing so much pain and suffering to her.

Then, when she was old, just by chance—I think in South America somewhere—she spotted one of the doctor's assistants still alive. She traced his address and wrote him a letter saying, "I know who you are. This was my name. You experimented on me and my twin sister. Please meet me in Auschwitz." She challenged him to come to Auschwitz, and he had no choice.

He said afterwards that it was causing him so much pain himself, knowing what he'd done. So they met in Auschwitz, in the camp. Many years later, it was all closed down—a place people could go to reflect on what happened there.

When they met together in Auschwitz, she forgave him. She said, "Look, we've been holding this for way too long." Afterward, she wrote about what it felt like to forgive this man who, for many years, had been a monster in her nightmares.

She gave this wonderful piece of advice: once you forgive, you're not a victim anymore—you're a victor. So you have a choice there: to be the victim or the victor. Obviously, when you're the victor, it's so much more powerful.

You can forgive anything, honestly. You have these great examples of people who have done that, and you think, well, if that can be forgiven, I don't know what you're worried about—what you've done wrong, your mistakes, and the people you've hurt. You can become free.

2024 March - April (9/19) | 9 day Retreat | Ajahn Brahm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXQ7enorLVo&list=PLf9HOK_Rf1M4SpK06V5lfdyKBS5dr4jtP&index=9

信徒：如何原諒並放下過去——放下我們自己的錯誤，以及那些我們傷害過的人？

阿姜布拉姆：如果你能放下，那很好。如果你不放下，你就成了過去的囚徒。那裏面毫無自由可言。

有一個人講述了關於原諒的美好故事。最近有人給我分享了一個故事，關於一位女士，她是一名雙胞胎。她和她的姐姐沒有被直接送進毒氣室，而是被挑出來交給門格勒醫生做實驗。他們對她們做的事極其痛苦，她的姐姐死了。她卻奇蹟般地活了下來。

第二次世界大戰後，她懷著極深的仇恨與惡意，想要報復那些極其殘忍的德國醫生，他們殺害了她的雙胞胎姐姐，並給她帶來了巨大的痛苦與折磨。

後來，在她年老時，偶然地——我想是在南美洲某地——她發現其中一位醫生助理還活著。她查到了他的地址，給他寫了一封信，說：「我知道你是誰。這是我的名字。你在我和我雙胞胎姐姐身上做過實驗。請到奧斯威辛來見我。」她挑戰他來奧斯威辛，而他別無選擇。

他後來說道，知道自己的所作所為，這給他本人也帶來了巨大的痛苦。於是他們在奧斯威辛集中營見了面。許多年後，那裏已完全關閉——成為一個可以讓人們反思歷史的地方。

當他們在奧斯威辛見面時，她原諒了他。她說：「你看，我們背負這些已經太久了。」事後，她寫下了原諒這個多年來在她噩夢中如同怪物般的男人的感受。

她給出了一個極好的建議：一旦你原諒了，你就不再是受害者——你成了勝利者。所以你有一個選擇：成為受害者或是勝利者。顯然，當你是勝利者時，你會變得強大得多。

說真的，你可以原諒任何事情。有很多偉大的例子，人們做到了。你會想，如果那樣的事情都能被原諒，我不知道你還在擔心什麼——無論是你做錯的事、你的過失，還是你傷害過的人。你可以獲得自由。

2024年3月-4月 (9/19) | 9日禪修 | 阿姜布拉姆

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXQ7enorLVo&list=PLf9HOK_Rf1M4SpK06V5lfdyKBS5dr4jtP&index=9

如果有人冒犯我們，我們會怎麼做？

就不會報復的，也不會怨恨他的

但別人以為佛教徒好欺負，於是就得串進尺：‘你要原諒我！佛陀和大師父教導你要原諒別人！所以你一定要幫我！’

哈哈！傻的！

自己做錯事、冒犯別人就一定要別人原諒，要別人繼續幫他。

沒有道歉、或者道歉完全沒有誠意、還理直氣壯，好像接受別人和他和好是老奉（奉旨）的。

要別人跪下來說：‘我接受你的道歉，請你不要生氣’ --反客為主！

好像自己是宇宙超級大Boss那樣，要別人圍著他轉，做他的狗

Ajahn Keng 說過‘佛教徒不是笨教徒！’

佛教徒是佛陀的信徒， 佛陀不僅EQ爆燈 （慈悲爆燈），IQ也爆燈（擁有一切知智）

如果只有慈悲，但沒有智慧；就不是佛陀的信徒了

事實上，別人如法、誠懇的道歉，我們才需要接受 。

質多居士曾經在聽兩位上首弟子的開示後證得三果。之後邀請兩位長老連同一千位比丘來到自己的家接受缽食，也邀請了當時的常住長老--善法長老。

但當時善法長老小氣了：‘這個人之後才邀請我！’ 於是生氣不答允，一再請求後長老還是拒絕，最後說完：‘請您出席，尊者’後，便離開了。

第二天善法長老來了，但來羞辱、責備對方，然後憤然離去。儘管質多居士一再挽回，但長老還是離開了。去到佛陀面前後，將自己和質多居士的對話講述給佛陀知道。佛陀便說：「你用卑鄙的方式羞辱了具信、淨信的近事男。」指出他的過失後，命令僧團對他舉行下意甘馬(一種僧團懲戒甘馬，針對冒犯在家眾的比庫，只有當他取得對方的諒解後才能解除。)，派遣他： “去，向質多家主那裡請求原諒。”

他去到那裡即便說：「家主，那只是我的過錯，請你原諒我。」但家主說：「我不原諒。」被他拒絕後很尷尬，不能取得原諒。

於是他又回到佛陀身邊。雖然佛陀知道“近事男將不會原諒他”，出於“此人傲慢，先讓他走三十由旬的路回來（以消除他的傲慢之心）”，沒有告訴他請求原諒的方法就派他前去了。

在他回來時，他已消除了傲慢，便給他派了一位同伴，說：“去，和此人一起去請求近事男的原諒。”

後來，長老向居士誠懇道歉後，貴為三果聖者的質多居士才原諒了他。 （DphA.73-74）

知道布施第一的給孤獨長者嗎？ 當時他經歷低潮，而他家中的天女就勸他說：「大財主，你不考慮未來，在沙門果德瑪教法中耗散了大量財富，如今變貧窮了還不捨棄他，這樣下去，過幾天就會連衣食都沒有了。沙門果德瑪對你有什麼用呢？請避免過度慷慨，然後從事工作，創造財富吧。」

「這就是你對我的告誡？」

“是的，財主。”

「走吧！即便是一百個、一千個、十萬個你這樣的人，也動搖不了我。你所言不當，幹嘛住在我家裡？速速從我家出去！」

她聽了初果聖者的話後無法停留，便帶著孩子們出去了。然而出去後她找不到其他住處，就已經決定「請求財主原諒後，我將繼續住在那裡。」

她陸續來到守城天子、四大天王那裡，講述了自己犯下的過錯，然後請求他們幫忙，但他們都沒法子。最後來到帝釋天這裡，帝釋天便叫她收集大量財富，帶著它們請求給孤獨長者原諒。

後來天女做齊了，給孤獨長者沒有立刻原諒她，而是帶她去見佛陀。佛陀原諒她後，長者才原諒她 （DhpA.119-120）

所以當然不是隨便原諒別人的，要看看對方是否有誠意，有沒有出蠱惑！

有一次，佛陀時代的名妓Sirima 冒犯了善意財主的妻子－本那財主的女兒－鄔達蕊（Uttarā）近事女，她也是一位初果聖者。鄔達蕊想要讓她[對三寶]生起信仰，便在導師和比庫僧團在自己家中用完餐時，讓她向導師請求原諒。 （DhpA.147）

有一次，有一班天神挑佛陀毛病，一輪對話後，他們向佛陀懺悔。佛陀那時面露微笑，並沒有接受他們的懺悔。

為什麼？那些天神並不是真心道歉，佛陀知道會生起更多的對話因此顯露微笑

後來第二輪對話結束後，佛陀才接受他們的道歉 （SN1.35）

所以我們看到，一定要讓別人肯低下頭、從中改過，我們才會施與原諒。

別人說我們小氣？ 就讓他們說！ 我們不執著善法和自己的名譽😂

我們絕不向佛教的惡勢力低頭！！！！！！！！

When someone offends us, what do we do? 

We do not retaliate, nor do we hold grudges against them. 

But others may think Buddhists are easy to push around and start taking advantage of it: "You have to forgive me! The Buddha and the great masters taught you to forgive others! So you must help me!" 

Hah! How foolish! 

When they themselves make mistakes or offend others, they demand forgiveness and expect others to continue helping them. 

They offer no apology, or their apology is completely insincere and even self-righteous, as if others are obliged to reconcile with them. 

They expect others to kneel and say, "I accept your apology, please don’t be angry" — reversing the roles! 

As if they were the supreme boss of the universe, expecting everyone to revolve around them and serve them like dogs. 

Ajahn Keng once said, "Disciples of the Buddha are not the disciple of foolism!" 

Buddhists are followers of the Buddha. The Buddha not only had overflowing EQ (compassion) but also overflowing IQ (possessing all-encompassing wisdom). 

If one only has compassion but lacks wisdom, they are not true followers of the Buddha. 

In reality, we only need to accept apologies when others offer them sincerely and in accordance with the Dhamma. 

Once, the lay disciple Citta attained the third stage of enlightenment after listening to a discourse by the two topmost disciples. He later invited the two elders, along with a thousand monks, to his home for alms, and also invited the resident elder, Elder Dhammika. 

However, Elder Dhammika was resentful: "This person invited me only later!" He became angry and refused. After repeated requests, the elder still declined. Finally, after saying, "Please attend, Venerable," Citta left. 

The next day, Elder Dhammika came but only to humiliate and scold Citta before storming off. Despite Citta’s attempts to reconcile, the elder left. When the elder went to the Buddha and recounted his conversation with Citta, the Buddha said, "You have humiliated a faithful and devoted lay follower in a despicable manner." After pointing out his fault, the Buddha ordered the Sangha to impose the "tajjanīyakamma" (a disciplinary act for monks who offend lay followers, which can only be lifted after obtaining forgiveness from the offended party). He was instructed: "Go and ask for forgiveness from the lay disciple Citta." 

When the elder went and said, "Householder, it was my fault. Please forgive me," Citta replied, "I do not forgive." Rejected and embarrassed, the elder failed to obtain forgiveness. 

He returned to the Buddha. Although the Buddha knew that "the lay follower will not forgive him," He did not tell the elder how to seek forgiveness but sent him back again, thinking, "This person is arrogant. Let him travel thirty yojanas back and forth to eliminate his pride." 

Upon his return, his pride had diminished. The Buddha then assigned him a companion and said, "Go, and together with this person, seek forgiveness from the lay follower." 

Later, after the elder sincerely apologized, Citta, a non-returner, forgave him. (DphA.73-74) 

Do you know Anāthapiṇḍika, the great benefactor renowned as the foremost in generosity? Once, during a period of hardship, a celestial maiden in his household advised him: "Great benefactor, you do not consider the future. You have expended vast wealth in the dispensation of the ascetic Gotama and have now become poor. Yet you do not abandon him. If this continues, in a few days you will lack even food and clothing. What use is the ascetic Gotama to you? Please avoid excessive generosity, engage in work, and rebuild your wealth." 

"Is this your advice to me?" 

"Yes, benefactor." 

"Go! Even a hundred, a thousand, or a hundred thousand beings like you cannot sway me. Your words are improper. Why do you stay in my house? Leave my home immediately!" 

Unable to remain after hearing the words of this stream-enterer, she left with her children. However, after leaving, she could find no other place to stay and decided, "I will seek the benefactor’s forgiveness and continue living there." 

She went successively to the guardian deity of the city, the Four Great Kings, recounted her mistake, and asked for their help, but none could assist her. Finally, she approached Sakka, the king of gods, who advised her to gather great wealth and bring it to seek Anāthapiṇḍika’s forgiveness. 

Later, after the celestial maiden followed these instructions, Anāthapiṇḍika did not forgive her immediately. Instead, he took her to see the Buddha. Only after the Buddha forgave her did the benefactor forgive her. (DhpA.119-120) 

Thus, forgiveness is not granted casually. We must assess whether the other party is sincere and not deceitful! 

Once, Sirimā, a famous courtesan during the Buddha’s time, offended Uttarā, the wife of the wealthy patron Puṇṇa and a stream-enterer. Uttarā wanted to instill faith in Sirimā [toward the Triple Gem], so after the Teacher and the Sangha had finished their meal in her home, she made Sirimā seek forgiveness from the Teacher. (DhpA.147) 

Once, a group of devas tried to find fault with the Buddha. After a round of dialogue, they repented to the Buddha. At that moment, the Buddha smiled but did not accept their repentance.

Why? Those devas were not sincerely apologizing. The Buddha, knowing that further dialogue would arise, showed a slight smile.

After the second round of dialogue concluded, the Buddha finally accepted their apology. (SN1.35)

Thus, we see that forgiveness is granted only when others are willing to humble themselves and reform. 

If others call us petty? Let them say it! We do not cling to virtuous qualities or our own reputation. 😂 

We will never bow to Evil forces within Buddhism!  

減少後悔和自責的方法之一，是培育善意和原諒之心

如果我們對人不仁慈、常常批評他人，那麼我們將要反噬這個業力

一旦我們養成這個習慣，也會對自己不仁慈、常常批評自己

假如自己做錯事，就會非常悔恨、自責，久久而不能平靜

但假如我們能對人時時懷有善意，很容易就遠離別人的過失，

那麼反過來，我們也很容易對自己仁慈、原諒自己的過失

One way to reduce regret and self-blame is to cultivate kindness and forgiveness. 

If we are unkind to others and often criticize them, we will bear the karmic consequences ourselves. 

Once we form this habit, we will also become unkind and overly critical of ourselves. 

If we make a mistake, we will fall into deep regret and self-blame, struggling to find peace for a long time. 

But if we always maintain goodwill toward others and easily forgive their faults, 

then, in turn, it becomes much easier to be kind to ourselves and forgive our own mistakes. 

寬宏大量的人是有大功德的人

為什麼？ 佛陀說，功德是快樂的同義詞（AN7.62) 

一個懂得寬恕，不計較別人冒犯的人；必然是懂得捨去自己煩惱和痛苦的人

什麼不幸一旦發生，他會懂怎樣可以放下它們

當一個人煩惱淡薄，心很自然就會非常快樂和輕鬆

如此為有大功德的人

A magnanimous person is one with great merit.  

Why? The Buddha said that merit is synonymous with happiness (AN 7.62).  

A person who knows how to forgive and does not dwell on the offenses of others is inevitably someone who understands how to let go of their own defilements and suffering.  

When any misfortune occurs, they know how to release it.  

When a person's afflictions are light, the mind naturally becomes very joyful and at ease.  

Such a person is one with great merit.

Devotee: Fault finding is not a good thing. But if one is hurt because of a wrongdoing of someone closer to him, how can one face that situation? If someone is trying to avoid you, maybe because of guilt, what is the best way thing to do? To move away, to forgive and forget.?

Ajahn Brahm: You don't forgive and forget. You forgive and learn. And forgiveness is not being allowing yourself to be a target again. You let you know the danger signs and you move away. But they've hurt you once. Why do you allow them to hurt you again by holding on to fear or holding on to anger? If you have ill will that really hurts you inside. And the anger also is a big obstacle to your peace and freedom in meditation. Why do you allow people to keep controlling you? So instead you forgive, you still have to protect yourself and then you can actually solve the situation. There are some times when just forgiving is not enough. If that's someone really close to you like a mother or a father or like a partner in life, it's very difficult. You know, someone asked for forgiveness and you say, "Well, look, I can't trust you anymore. Are you never going to do that again?" So that's why I developed this forgiveness more than just forgiveness, but forgiveness with parole.

So I did this for this couple and she was just sending his suit to the dry cleaners and when she was looking at the suit she find there was a receipt there for a brothel. He was visiting ladies of I don't really like calling it but anyway you know what I mean to a prostitute and she called him out and so they both came to Bodinyana monastery across the road and you know to try and settle this and she said it has to be a divorce, '' I can't stay with him any longer you know I don't trust him''

and he said , ''look it was a mistake, I still really love my wife now. Can she please forgive me? I'll never do this again. ''

Has that ever happened to you or something similar? Can you trust a person when they cheated you once? And so you had to be innovative. So I said, "Okay, you really want, you know, to prove to your wife you're never going to do that again." So we negotiated the terms of parole. We said for he,'' first of all, I suggested 6 months'' and she said ,''no one year.''

We compromised at 9 months I think ,and if he came home late from anywhere he had to  have a paper trail documentary proof of where he'd been. She was allowed to get all of his passwords and check his mobile phones and tablets and computers whenever she wanted for 9 months. And he had that's what he had to exceed to. so he could prove himself and he did that and he kept his word and so they're back together and they come to the temple regularly , still come with a lot of gratitude and they saved their relationship. 

He made a stupid mistake. When you make a stupid mistake you ask forgiveness. You have to prove you never do that again. That make sense? Anyway, it's nice to see them together anyway. And there've been good food. (laugh) So, I'm very glad they're back to the relationship.

If it's something more violent, I always think that we don't agree with the punishment. If someone is violent, it's like a disease. Why on earth would you abuse a child or a parent or a partner? So if it's abuse then maybe just parole is not good enough but to be able to get some help. It's like a disease and so you need sort of psychological, psychiatric help. Though I always feel that for prisons should never be looked upon as punishments but as places for reform. So you can not be punished and stay in cells and learn more ways of breaking the law and getting away with it ,but being able to actually learn from there and make sure you never want to do those things again.

2025 April (11/19) | 9 day Retreat | Ajahn Brahm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6voOvIBj1zk&list=PLf9HOK_Rf1M4Imi4ppID6Rb9NScchKviX&index=11

信眾：吹毛求疵不是一件好事。但如果一個人因為親近之人的過錯而受到傷害，該如何面對那種情況？如果有人試圖避開你，也許是因為內疚，最好的做法是什麼？是遠離、原諒並忘記嗎？

阿姜布拉姆：你不是原諒並忘記，而是原諒並學習。而且，寬恕並非允許自己再次成為目標。你要讓自己知曉危險的徵兆，然後離開。但是，他們已經傷害過你一次了。你為何還要讓自己緊抓著恐懼或憤怒，允許他們再次傷害你呢？如果你心懷惡意，那真正傷害的是你的內在。憤怒也是你禪修中平靜與自由的一大障礙。你為何要允許人們持續控制你？因此，與其如此，你選擇寬恕，但你仍需保護自己，這樣你才能真正解決問題。有些時候，僅僅寬恕是不夠的。如果對方是你非常親近的人，像是母親、父親或人生伴侶，這會非常困難。你知道，當有人請求寬恕時，你說：「可是，聽著，我無法再信任你了。你真的永遠不會再那樣做了嗎？」正因如此，我發展出這種不僅僅是寬恕，而是帶有「假釋條件」的寬恕。

我曾為一對夫妻這樣做。當時，她正把他的西裝送去乾洗，檢查西裝時發現了一張妓院的收據。他去找了那些……我不太喜歡用那個詞，但反正你明白我的意思，就是找妓女。她當面質問了他，於是他們倆來到馬路對面的波迪亞那寺院，試圖解決這件事。她說必須離婚，「我無法再和他一起生活了，你知道，我無法信任他。」而他說：「聽著，那是個錯誤，我現在仍然深愛我的妻子。她能原諒我嗎？我再也不會這樣做了。」

你曾經歷過這種或類似的事情嗎？當一個人欺騙過你一次，你還能信任他嗎？因此你必須有創意。所以我說：「好吧，你真的想向妻子證明你永遠不會再犯，對嗎？」於是我們協商了「假釋條件」。首先，我建議6個月，但她說要1年。我想我們折衷為9個月。並且，如果他從任何地方晚歸，都必須有紙本文件證明他去過哪裡。她被允許獲取他所有的密碼，並在9個月內隨時檢查他的手機、平板電腦和電腦。這是他必須遵守的條件，以便他能證明自己。而他確實做到了，他遵守了承諾，所以他們復合了。他們現在仍定期來寺院，帶著深深的感恩，他們挽救了彼此的關係。

他犯了一個愚蠢的錯誤。當你犯了愚蠢的錯誤時，你請求寬恕。你必須證明你永遠不會再犯。這有道理嗎？總之，看到他們在一起總是好的。而且（寺院）食物一直不錯（笑）。所以，我很高興他們重修舊好。

如果是更暴力的事件，我總認為我們不該贊同懲罰。如果某人具有暴力傾向，那就像一種疾病。到底為什麼會有人去虐待孩子、父母或伴侶呢？所以，如果是虐待，那麼可能僅僅「假釋」是不夠的，還需要能夠獲得一些幫助。這就像一種疾病，因此你需要某種心理上、精神上的協助。我總覺得，監獄永遠不該被視為懲罰之地，而應是改造之處。這樣，人們就不會只是在牢房裡接受懲罰，學會更多違法並逍遙法外的方式，而是能夠真正從中學習，確保自己再也不願做那些事。

2025年4月 (11/19) | 9日禪修營 | 阿姜布拉姆

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6voOvIBj1zk&list=PLf9HOK_Rf1M4Imi4ppID6Rb9NScchKviX&index=11

《要懂得道歉和寬恕》

有幾件事情很重要的。

第一，就是我們要懂得道歉，第二就是我們要懂得寬恕

因為我們所冒犯的事情都是不好的。因為這些事情都是不好的，所以我們才會想去和對方道歉.

而自身所受的傷害，也是自己的業。因為這樣而不原諒對方，這個怨氣也會一直跟著。身為一個佛教徒，甚至修行者，應當懂得道歉和原諒對方。

或者是可以利用這種方式。當兩個人有爭吵時，無論誰對誰錯，自己永遠都先認錯道歉，先原諒對方。

不論那個事情有多麼嚴重，不值得原諒的事情，這種事情更值得先原諒對方。有時候明明自己沒有做錯，為什麼要向對方認錯？ 但是在佛法上來講，這種行為不是輸，而是贏了，贏了自己的煩惱。我們心的層次就會越來越高，越容易讓心平靜下來。因為心沒有任何不好的業來干擾。其他人所做的所作所為他們自己去承擔，我們的責任就是原諒寬恕。當雙方有爭吵時，要先懂得說對不起。先說對不起的那一方，事情就會先結束

一個生氣的人就好像小孩子一樣。身為大人，就不需要理會他。做到嗎？

一個人如果想心愉快，就要有四梵心，慈悲喜捨。

生氣也死，不生氣也死，那麼不生氣比較好。

生氣的人，他生氣也好，不生氣也好，都是要死。我們原諒他好過不原諒他。

大家都要死，為什麼我們要結這個怨呢？

你要看看，自己也是有邪見，不明白。

曾經也有傷害過別人，讓自己生氣。

因此要懂得寬恕

"Learning to Apologize and Forgive"

Several things are very important:

First, we must learn to apologize. Second, we must learn to forgive.

Because the things we've done wrong are unwholesome, so we feel like we have to apologize. Precisely because they're unwholesome, we should apologize.

The harm we've suffered is also our own kamma. Not forgiving others because of this only keeps resentment within us. As Buddhists, even as practitioners, we should know how to apologize and forgive.

Here's another approach: When two people quarrel, regardless of who's right or wrong, always be the first to apologize and forgive.

No matter how serious the matter seems, even when it appears unforgivable - these are precisely the situations where forgiveness matters most. Sometimes we haven't done anything wrong, so why apologize? But in the Dhamma, this isn't losing - it's victory over our own defilements. Our mind becomes progressively refined and easier to pacify, undisturbed by unwholesome kamma. Others must bear the consequences of their actions; our responsibility is to forgive.

When conflict arises, be the first to say "I'm sorry." The one who apologizes first ends the dispute first.

An angry person is like a child. As adults, we needn't engage. Can we do this?

To maintain happiness, cultivate the Four Divine Abodes: loving-kindness, compassion, empathetic joy, and equanimity.

We'll die whether angry or not - better not be angry.

Whether others stay angry or not, they'll die too. Forgiving serves us better.

Since we all must die, why hold grudges?

Examine yourself - you too have held wrong views, lacked understanding.

You've hurt others and made them angry too.

Therefore, learn to forgive.

-----Ajahn Golf 阿贊高爾夫 อาจารย์กอล์ฟ 

29/6/2025 @Utama Boddhi Vihara (UBV), Selangor, Malaysia.

Excerpted from 33：00-39：00  :

https://www.facebook.com/100087367309533/videos/2047712052419485/?__cft__[0]=AZUB_a65lr6BU1jMhg1gWRQKV1PN8o-m_sgNPxpbAv1HUBBB0KMIluYwW5Ip51uUNMr3FDa2aowDU05fpP2TJ1ZOe3b08mCvQ3vgl0U6v6rNf4STMIoL6lVcxLLL03rycKUT4pl2Q3Qcibzd0JO65xKkTd57G9hfWhVlp19cTednBJ81HQIhXPb_A96FDgX-3XGPhfegt2_w7ssWgSu5fkrG&__tn__=%2CO-R

所謂‘大人有大量’

一個偉大的人，必然有廣闊的胸襟

別人傷害自己，自己能夠寬恕

別人說自己是非，自己能夠寬恕

別人和自己意見不合，自己也能包容不生氣

就如佛陀那樣，雖然提婆達多屢次背叛自己，甚至想殺掉自己；但佛陀仍然寬恕不生氣

也好像耶穌那樣，雖然被釘十字架，但臨死前卻寬恕了所有傷害和嘲笑自己的人

唯有當我們寬恕所有人，不對任何人起惡意，涵容所有人；才能成為所有人的依靠,為所有人帶來安全感

因此說：‘大人有大量’

There is a saying that "A Great person is magnanimous"

A truly great person must possess a broad and generous mind.

When others hurt them, they can forgive.

When others speak ill of them, they can forgive.

When others disagree with them, they can remain patient and unangered.

Just like the Buddha, who, despite Devadatta’s repeated betrayals—even attempts to kill him—never held anger and always forgave.

Or like Jesus, who, even while being crucified, prayed for the forgiveness of those who harmed and mocked him.

Only when we forgive everyone, harbor no ill will toward anyone, and embrace all people with tolerance, can we truly become a refuge for all, providing sense of security to all

This is why it is said:

"A Great person is magnanimous"

"Generosity can indeed lead to Nibbāna—specifically, Dhamma-dāna (the gift of Dharma) and avera-dāna (the gift of forgiveness). These are called 'inner generosity.'

Inner generosity has no enemies, no limitations—it is timeless (akālika). People don’t teach this enough; they’re afraid you’ll attain liberation too quickly. Instead, they only emphasize outer generosity, which is slow and risky because it can lead to attachment.

When the mind is filled with generosity (dāna), virtue (sīla), and meditation (bhāvanā), progress is swift. But if you focus only on external acts of giving, moral discipline, and meditation, the path will be slow.

True inner generosity is avera-dāna (forgiveness) and Dhamma-dāna (sharing the Dharma)..."

「布施確實能導向涅槃——尤其是『法施』和『無瞋施』，這叫做『內在的布施』。

內在的布施沒有敵人、沒有時限，是超越時間的（akālika）。可惜人們很少這樣教，怕你覺悟得太快，只教你外在的布施——那樣進步慢，還有執著的危險。

如果心中具足布施、持戒、禪修，修行就能快速進步。但如果只做外在的布施、持戒、禪修，路就會走得很慢。

真正的內在布施，是『無瞋施』（寬恕）和『法施』（弘揚正法）……」

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Dharma Teaching

Venerable Luang Pu Buddha Thavaro

Wat Klang Chu Sri Charoen Suk, Bang Rachan District, Sing Buri Province

如果我們還在怨恨、 想要傷害、 想要報仇，我們離初果還很遠

這已經違反了十善業中的不嗔戒，違反了Luang ta siri 所說的‘聖者的戒’

Ajahn Golf 也說：‘就算初果聖者有這個嗔心在，但他們也不會怨恨、去仇恨 ’

所以如果我們心裡還在怨恨誰，放不下這根刺；不要談證果了

如果我們肯原諒，肯寬恕，肯以德報怨；這是貼近聖者的心....

If we cling to hatred, the desire to harm, or thoughts of revenge—we are still far from attaining the first stage of enlightenment (sotāpanna).

This violates the precepts of non-ill-will (adosa) in the Ten Wholesome Deeds and contradicts what Luang Ta Siri called "the precepts of the Noble Ones."

Ajahn Golf also taught:

"Even if a sotāpanna still experiences irritation, they never dwell in hatred or vengefulness."

So if our hearts still hold resentment, if we cannot pull out that thorn—let alone speak of enlightenment. We must reflect this deeply.

But if we choose forgiveness, if we repay harm with kindness—this is the heart that draws near to the Noble Ones...

原諒那些傷害我們的人吧！

為什麼他們會傷害我們？

僅僅是因為他們不滿足、 不開心，才會傷害我們

一旦他們好像佛陀和阿羅漢那樣完全地滿足和快樂

他們根本就不會想要再從這個世界中取得些什麼，也自然不會惡意傷害任何人

因此應該可憐他們

Let’s forgive those who have harmed us!

Why do they hurt us?

Simply because they are discontent and unhappy, end up hurting others.

Once they are completely content and happy, like the Buddha and the Arahants, 

they will no longer desire to take anything from this world, and naturally, they won’t maliciously harm anyone. 

Therefore, we should feel compassion for them.

小器的方丈不是一般的方丈😂

因為Ajahn Golf 說，：‘出家人的正常素質，就是會原諒的。因為如果不原諒的話，就沒了出家的心。’

Monastic Dean who is narrow-minded is not ordinary monastic dean😂

Because Ajahn Golf once said:' The normal quality of a monk, is willing to forgive. If he doesn't forgive, he has lost his mind of a monk.' 

《如何培養更多的慈悲與寬恕》

信徒：您能給我們一些如何在內心培養更多慈悲與寬恕的建議嗎？

阿姜蘇差特：你必須讓自己感到快樂。一旦你快樂，你就不需要任何人的東西。這樣你就能對每個人友善並充滿慈悲。但如果你內心不快樂，你就會向他人尋求快樂。如果得不到快樂，反而遭遇他人的瘋狂，就會生氣。因此，試著禪修，讓你的心靜下來，平靜，保持中捨的心態。你擁有的中捨越多，滿足感就越強。一旦你有了滿足感，就不需要或期望任何人的東西。

所以一切都回到我們自己身上，我們必須通過佛法來提升自己，讓自己變得平靜、快樂。一旦你變得平靜、快樂，你就不需要任何人的東西，也不會期望任何人的東西，無論別人對你怎樣，你都能接受他們。你可以把他們看作不同類型的食物。人就像水果，有的是芒果，有的是香蕉，有的是蘋果；你無法改變他們。你所要做的就是接受他們。他們就是他們。你所要做的就是與他們相處。

我總是說，秘訣在於正念。如果你有正念，你可以使自己的心靜下來，保持中捨的心態。然後，如果你有中捨的心態，你將會對他人的成功充滿慈愛、慈悲和喜悅。

所以，試著提升自己，不要試圖改變他人。這幾乎是不可能的。改變自己。一旦你改變了自己，你就能接受任何事情。

<<How to generate more compassion and forgiveness>>

Devotee: could you give some advice of how to generate more compassion and forgiveness within ourselves?

Ajahn Suchart: You have to happy in yourself. Once you are happy, you don't need anything from anybody. You can then be nice and can be compassionate to everybody. But if you are unhappy within yourself, then you will seek happiness from any people. If you don't get happiness , you get madness from other people, then you get angry. So try to develop a lot of meditation, to get your mind to become calm, peaceful and have equanimity. The more equanimity you have, the more contentment you have. When you have contentment, you don't need or expect anything from anybody.

So it always come back to ourselves, we have to develop ourselves with Dhamma, teaching of the Buddha, to become calm, peaceful and happy. Once you become calm, peaceful and happy, you don't need anything from anybody, you don't expect anything from anybody, you can take anything from anybody. They can bully you or be nice to you , whatever. You look at them like looking at different types of food. People are like fruits, some are mangoes, some are bananas,  some are apples; you can't change them. All you have to do is to accept them. They are what they are. All you have to do is to deal with them

I always say, the secret is mindfulness. If you have mindfulness, you can make your mind calm and have equanimity. Then if you have equanimity, you will have loving kindness and compassion  and sympathetic joy towards other people’s success

So try to develop yourself, don’t try to change other people. It is almost impossible. Change yourself. Once you change yourself, you can take anything

《How to cope with those who hurt us?》

Devotee： somebody was asking about how to deal with people in workplace who are trying to undermine him or so on. So I am trying to learn from the Lord Buddha, who face Devadatta...

Ajahn Suchart: The story is clear already. He forgave Devadatta, he didn't react or hurt Devadatta. The consequence of Devadatta's bad kamma takes effect. So remain calm, remain knowing, not reacting, this is how the Buddha did. Just merely know. What you see, just merely see; what you hear, just merely hear; don't react to what you see and what you hear 

《如何應對那些傷害我們的人？》

信徒：有人問到如何處理工作場所中試圖傷害他的人。我想從佛陀的故事中學習，特別是他面對提婆達多的態度……

阿姜蘇差特：這個故事已經很清楚了。他原諒了提婆達多，沒有反應或傷害提婆達多。提婆達多的不善業果報會生效。因此，要保持冷靜，保持覺知，而不是反應，這就是佛陀所做的。只是單純地知道。你看到的，就只是看到；你聽到的，就只是聽到；不要對你看到的和聽到的做出反應。

如果說，在這俗世有完人嗎？

應該就沒有

佛陀曾說啊，當我們的心渾濁時，我們是不會知道自己的利益、或他人的利益、或兩者的利益的（AN1.45）

當我們內心有貪嗔癡的時候，我們必然是傾向製造麻煩給自己或他人的

但又有誰沒有貪嗔癡？

所以我們生命中出現麻煩是正常的

對自己多一點諒解，也對別人多一點諒解

同時趕緊撲滅自己的貪嗔癡

If I may ask, in this mundane world, are there any perfect people? 

Probably not. 

The Buddha once said that when our minds are clouded, we cannot know our own benefit, the benefit of others, or the benefit of both (AN1.45). 

When greed, aversion, and delusion reside within our hearts, we are inevitably inclined to create trouble for ourselves or others. 

Yet who among us is free from greed, aversion, and delusion? 

So, it is normal for troubles to arise in our lives. 

Show a little more understanding toward ourselves and a little more understanding toward others. 

At the same time, strive quickly to extinguish our own greed, aversion, and delusion.