《要懂得道歉和寬恕》

有幾件事情很重要的。

第一，就是我們要懂得道歉，第二就是我們要懂得寬恕

因為我們所冒犯的事情都是不好的。因為這些事情都是不好的，所以我們才會想去和對方道歉.

而自身所受的傷害，也是自己的業。因為這樣而不原諒對方，這個怨氣也會一直跟著。身為一個佛教徒，甚至修行者，應當懂得道歉和原諒對方。

或者是可以利用這種方式。當兩個人有爭吵時，無論誰對誰錯，自己永遠都先認錯道歉，先原諒對方。

不論那個事情有多麼嚴重，不值得原諒的事情，這種事情更值得先原諒對方。有時候明明自己沒有做錯，為什麼要向對方認錯？ 但是在佛法上來講，這種行為不是輸，而是贏了，贏了自己的煩惱。我們心的層次就會越來越高，越容易讓心平靜下來。因為心沒有任何不好的業來干擾。其他人所做的所作所為他們自己去承擔，我們的責任就是原諒寬恕。當雙方有爭吵時，要先懂得說對不起。先說對不起的那一方，事情就會先結束

一個生氣的人就好像小孩子一樣。身為大人，就不需要理會他。做到嗎？

一個人如果想心愉快，就要有四梵心，慈悲喜捨。

生氣也死，不生氣也死，那麼不生氣比較好。

生氣的人，他生氣也好，不生氣也好，都是要死。我們原諒他好過不原諒他。

大家都要死，為什麼我們要結這個怨呢？

你要看看，自己也是有邪見，不明白。

曾經也有傷害過別人，讓自己生氣。

因此要懂得寬恕

"Learning to Apologize and Forgive"

Several things are very important:

First, we must learn to apologize. Second, we must learn to forgive.

Because the things we've done wrong are unwholesome, so we feel like we have to apologize. Precisely because they're unwholesome, we should apologize.

The harm we've suffered is also our own kamma. Not forgiving others because of this only keeps resentment within us. As Buddhists, even as practitioners, we should know how to apologize and forgive.

Here's another approach: When two people quarrel, regardless of who's right or wrong, always be the first to apologize and forgive.

No matter how serious the matter seems, even when it appears unforgivable - these are precisely the situations where forgiveness matters most. Sometimes we haven't done anything wrong, so why apologize? But in the Dhamma, this isn't losing - it's victory over our own defilements. Our mind becomes progressively refined and easier to pacify, undisturbed by unwholesome kamma. Others must bear the consequences of their actions; our responsibility is to forgive.

When conflict arises, be the first to say "I'm sorry." The one who apologizes first ends the dispute first.

An angry person is like a child. As adults, we needn't engage. Can we do this?

To maintain happiness, cultivate the Four Divine Abodes: loving-kindness, compassion, empathetic joy, and equanimity.

We'll die whether angry or not - better not be angry.

Whether others stay angry or not, they'll die too. Forgiving serves us better.

Since we all must die, why hold grudges?

Examine yourself - you too have held wrong views, lacked understanding.

You've hurt others and made them angry too.

Therefore, learn to forgive.

-----Ajahn Golf 阿贊高爾夫 อาจารย์กอล์ฟ 

29/6/2025 @Utama Boddhi Vihara (UBV), Selangor, Malaysia.

Excerpted from 33：00-39：00  :

https://www.facebook.com/100087367309533/videos/2047712052419485/?__cft__[0]=AZUB_a65lr6BU1jMhg1gWRQKV1PN8o-m_sgNPxpbAv1HUBBB0KMIluYwW5Ip51uUNMr3FDa2aowDU05fpP2TJ1ZOe3b08mCvQ3vgl0U6v6rNf4STMIoL6lVcxLLL03rycKUT4pl2Q3Qcibzd0JO65xKkTd57G9hfWhVlp19cTednBJ81HQIhXPb_A96FDgX-3XGPhfegt2_w7ssWgSu5fkrG&__tn__=%2CO-R

所謂‘大人有大量’

一個偉大的人，必然有廣闊的胸襟

別人傷害自己，自己能夠寬恕

別人說自己是非，自己能夠寬恕

別人和自己意見不合，自己也能包容不生氣

就如佛陀那樣，雖然提婆達多屢次背叛自己，甚至想殺掉自己；但佛陀仍然寬恕不生氣

也好像耶穌那樣，雖然被釘十字架，但臨死前卻寬恕了所有傷害和嘲笑自己的人

唯有當我們寬恕所有人，不對任何人起惡意，涵容所有人；才能成為所有人的依靠,為所有人帶來安全感

因此說：‘大人有大量’

There is a saying that "A Great person is magnanimous"

A truly great person must possess a broad and generous mind.

When others hurt them, they can forgive.

When others speak ill of them, they can forgive.

When others disagree with them, they can remain patient and unangered.

Just like the Buddha, who, despite Devadatta’s repeated betrayals—even attempts to kill him—never held anger and always forgave.

Or like Jesus, who, even while being crucified, prayed for the forgiveness of those who harmed and mocked him.

Only when we forgive everyone, harbor no ill will toward anyone, and embrace all people with tolerance, can we truly become a refuge for all, providing sense of security to all

This is why it is said:

"A Great person is magnanimous"

"Generosity can indeed lead to Nibbāna—specifically, Dhamma-dāna (the gift of Dharma) and avera-dāna (the gift of forgiveness). These are called 'inner generosity.'

Inner generosity has no enemies, no limitations—it is timeless (akālika). People don’t teach this enough; they’re afraid you’ll attain liberation too quickly. Instead, they only emphasize outer generosity, which is slow and risky because it can lead to attachment.

When the mind is filled with generosity (dāna), virtue (sīla), and meditation (bhāvanā), progress is swift. But if you focus only on external acts of giving, moral discipline, and meditation, the path will be slow.

True inner generosity is avera-dāna (forgiveness) and Dhamma-dāna (sharing the Dharma)..."

「布施確實能導向涅槃——尤其是『法施』和『無瞋施』，這叫做『內在的布施』。

內在的布施沒有敵人、沒有時限，是超越時間的（akālika）。可惜人們很少這樣教，怕你覺悟得太快，只教你外在的布施——那樣進步慢，還有執著的危險。

如果心中具足布施、持戒、禪修，修行就能快速進步。但如果只做外在的布施、持戒、禪修，路就會走得很慢。

真正的內在布施，是『無瞋施』（寬恕）和『法施』（弘揚正法）……」

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Dharma Teaching

Venerable Luang Pu Buddha Thavaro

Wat Klang Chu Sri Charoen Suk, Bang Rachan District, Sing Buri Province

如果我們還在怨恨、 想要傷害、 想要報仇，我們離初果還很遠

這已經違反了十善業中的不嗔戒，違反了Luang ta siri 所說的‘聖者的戒’

Ajahn Golf 也說：‘就算初果聖者有這個嗔心在，但他們也不會怨恨、去仇恨 ’

所以如果我們心裡還在怨恨誰，放不下這根刺；不要談證果了

如果我們肯原諒，肯寬恕，肯以德報怨；這是貼近聖者的心....

If we cling to hatred, the desire to harm, or thoughts of revenge—we are still far from attaining the first stage of enlightenment (sotāpanna).

This violates the precepts of non-ill-will (adosa) in the Ten Wholesome Deeds and contradicts what Luang Ta Siri called "the precepts of the Noble Ones."

Ajahn Golf also taught:

"Even if a sotāpanna still experiences irritation, they never dwell in hatred or vengefulness."

So if our hearts still hold resentment, if we cannot pull out that thorn—let alone speak of enlightenment. We must reflect this deeply.

But if we choose forgiveness, if we repay harm with kindness—this is the heart that draws near to the Noble Ones...

原諒那些傷害我們的人吧！

為什麼他們會傷害我們？

僅僅是因為他們不滿足、 不開心，才會傷害我們

一旦他們好像佛陀和阿羅漢那樣完全地滿足和快樂

他們根本就不會想要再從這個世界中取得些什麼，也自然不會惡意傷害任何人

因此應該可憐他們

Let’s forgive those who have harmed us!

Why do they hurt us?

Simply because they are discontent and unhappy, end up hurting others.

Once they are completely content and happy, like the Buddha and the Arahants, 

they will no longer desire to take anything from this world, and naturally, they won’t maliciously harm anyone. 

Therefore, we should feel compassion for them.

小器的方丈不是一般的方丈😂

因為Ajahn Golf 說，：‘出家人的正常素質，就是會原諒的。因為如果不原諒的話，就沒了出家的心。’

Monastic Dean who is narrow-minded is not ordinary monastic dean😂

Because Ajahn Golf once said:' The normal quality of a monk, is willing to forgive. If he doesn't forgive, he has lost his mind of a monk.' 

《如何培養更多的慈悲與寬恕》

信徒：您能給我們一些如何在內心培養更多慈悲與寬恕的建議嗎？

阿姜蘇差特：你必須讓自己感到快樂。一旦你快樂，你就不需要任何人的東西。這樣你就能對每個人友善並充滿慈悲。但如果你內心不快樂，你就會向他人尋求快樂。如果得不到快樂，反而遭遇他人的瘋狂，就會生氣。因此，試著禪修，讓你的心靜下來，平靜，保持中捨的心態。你擁有的中捨越多，滿足感就越強。一旦你有了滿足感，就不需要或期望任何人的東西。

所以一切都回到我們自己身上，我們必須通過佛法來提升自己，讓自己變得平靜、快樂。一旦你變得平靜、快樂，你就不需要任何人的東西，也不會期望任何人的東西，無論別人對你怎樣，你都能接受他們。你可以把他們看作不同類型的食物。人就像水果，有的是芒果，有的是香蕉，有的是蘋果；你無法改變他們。你所要做的就是接受他們。他們就是他們。你所要做的就是與他們相處。

我總是說，秘訣在於正念。如果你有正念，你可以使自己的心靜下來，保持中捨的心態。然後，如果你有中捨的心態，你將會對他人的成功充滿慈愛、慈悲和喜悅。

所以，試著提升自己，不要試圖改變他人。這幾乎是不可能的。改變自己。一旦你改變了自己，你就能接受任何事情。

<<How to generate more compassion and forgiveness>>

Devotee: could you give some advice of how to generate more compassion and forgiveness within ourselves?

Ajahn Suchart: You have to happy in yourself. Once you are happy, you don't need anything from anybody. You can then be nice and can be compassionate to everybody. But if you are unhappy within yourself, then you will seek happiness from any people. If you don't get happiness , you get madness from other people, then you get angry. So try to develop a lot of meditation, to get your mind to become calm, peaceful and have equanimity. The more equanimity you have, the more contentment you have. When you have contentment, you don't need or expect anything from anybody.

So it always come back to ourselves, we have to develop ourselves with Dhamma, teaching of the Buddha, to become calm, peaceful and happy. Once you become calm, peaceful and happy, you don't need anything from anybody, you don't expect anything from anybody, you can take anything from anybody. They can bully you or be nice to you , whatever. You look at them like looking at different types of food. People are like fruits, some are mangoes, some are bananas,  some are apples; you can't change them. All you have to do is to accept them. They are what they are. All you have to do is to deal with them

I always say, the secret is mindfulness. If you have mindfulness, you can make your mind calm and have equanimity. Then if you have equanimity, you will have loving kindness and compassion  and sympathetic joy towards other people’s success

So try to develop yourself, don’t try to change other people. It is almost impossible. Change yourself. Once you change yourself, you can take anything

《How to cope with those who hurt us?》

Devotee： somebody was asking about how to deal with people in workplace who are trying to undermine him or so on. So I am trying to learn from the Lord Buddha, who face Devadatta...

Ajahn Suchart: The story is clear already. He forgave Devadatta, he didn't react or hurt Devadatta. The consequence of Devadatta's bad kamma takes effect. So remain calm, remain knowing, not reacting, this is how the Buddha did. Just merely know. What you see, just merely see; what you hear, just merely hear; don't react to what you see and what you hear 

《如何應對那些傷害我們的人？》

信徒：有人問到如何處理工作場所中試圖傷害他的人。我想從佛陀的故事中學習，特別是他面對提婆達多的態度……

阿姜蘇差特：這個故事已經很清楚了。他原諒了提婆達多，沒有反應或傷害提婆達多。提婆達多的不善業果報會生效。因此，要保持冷靜，保持覺知，而不是反應，這就是佛陀所做的。只是單純地知道。你看到的，就只是看到；你聽到的，就只是聽到；不要對你看到的和聽到的做出反應。