在家人系列 Lay people series

《Let people give whatever advice to you 》

Devotee: my parents advise me to acquire someone around me by maintaing certain image

Ajahn Suchart: They are just being delusional , thinking that their lifestyles are good for you. When you know better than them, you know that the best lifestyle is to be alone and peaceful, be content with yourself. 

Let them give whatever advice to you. It is naturally for people to always giving advice to people. The best way to deal with it is just to nod your head, 'ok, ok , ok' 

Don't try to argue, it will start a problem if you start to argue with them.

It is your life, you are the one who choose. They don't live your life. So you have to choose your life which is suitable for you.

When I told someone I wanted to become a monk, he became very sad, he said, ' why you want to become a monk? you are not a beggar! you can make a living!' 

they think being a monk is being a beggar . Because they don't understand the buddhist concept of renunciation. They think they need a lot of things to be happy; to be respectable, you need to have a lot of things that people have.

But are they happy? They are not happy.

They always worry, ' how long will this thing last? can we lose all things one day? like right now?'  Look at the stock market. Look at all the money lost in stock market in just a few days. 

Are they happy? people with lots of investment in stock market. I think they want to kill themselves.

So don't worry about people giving you opinions. As long as you know what the right opinion should be. The opinions given by the Buddha, just follow the opinions given by the Buddha. It is a true way to peace and happiness. Everything else is suffering. Ways towards sufferings, but not the way towards happiness or free from sufferings.

But people don't understand . They don't see the results appear in the mind, like the Buddha. How happy the Buddha is? compared to when he was a prince. When he was a prince, he felt horrified. Every time he thought of the body getting old, getting sick and gettng to die. But after his enlightenment, his mind becomes peaceful, happy all the time. And he was living like a beggar, no material possessions at all. So you can just listen to the Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha as your instructers. Other people can teach you whatever they want, just nod your head, but you don't need to follow what they say.

If their teaching contradicts the teaching of the Buddha, you should take the Buddha's teaching instead. That's why we take refuge in the Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha.

Refuge here means treating them as our teachers and guides

Always look at the Buddha as your model,what the Buddha did?  Did he need to have a lot of money and possessions?  He just want to be alone in the forest, where he find real happiness and contentment.

《讓人隨意給你建議》

信徒：我的父母建議我通過維持某種形象來獲取周圍的人。

阿姜蘇差特：這只是愚癡而已，以為他們的生活方式對你有好處。當你比他們知道得更多的時候，你知道最好的生活方式是獨自平靜，自己感到滿足。

讓他們隨意給你建議。人們總是會給予他人建議，這是自然而然的。應對的最佳方式就是點點頭，說「好，好，好」。不要試圖爭辯，因為如果你開始與他們爭辯，就會產生問題。這是你的人生，你是選擇的人。他們不會過你的生活。所以你必須選擇適合自己的生活。

當我告訴某人我想成為一名僧侶時，他變得非常傷心，說：「你為什麼想成為僧侶？你不是乞丐！你可以賺錢！」他們認為做僧侶就是乞討。因為他們不理解佛教放下的概念。他們認為需要很多東西才能快樂；要受人尊敬，就需要擁有很多別人擁有的東西。但他們快樂嗎？他們並不快樂。他們總是擔心：「這些東西能維持多久？有一天我們會失去一切嗎？比如現在？」看看股市。看看在股市中短短幾天內損失了多少錢。

他們快樂嗎？那些在股市中有大量投資的人。我覺得他們想自殺。

所以不要因為別人給你的意見而困擾。只要你知道正確的意見應該是什麼，那就是佛陀的教誨。就只是遵循佛陀的意見。這是真正通往平靜和快樂的道路。其他一切都是痛苦的。是通往痛苦的道路，而不是通往快樂或脫離痛苦的道路。

但人們不理解。他們看不到心中的結果。就像佛陀一樣，佛陀多麼快樂？與他當王子時相比。當他是王子時，他感到恐懼。每次想到身體變老、得病和死亡時，他都感到恐懼。但在他覺悟之後，他的心變得平靜，時刻快樂。他過著像乞丐一樣的生活，沒有物質財產。因此，你可以聆聽佛陀、法和僧作為你的指導。其他人可以隨意教你，但你只需點點頭，無需遵循他們的話。

如果他們的教導與佛陀的教導相矛盾，你應該選擇佛陀的教導。這就是我們皈依佛、法和僧的原因。皈依在這裡意味著將他們視為我們的老師和指導者。時刻以佛陀為榜樣，佛陀做了什麼？他需要很多錢和財產嗎？他只是想在森林中獨處，找到真正的快樂和滿足。

We Are All Temporary Actors

Because in life, nothing is controllable, nothing is constant, and nothing can be taken with us after we are dead.

We must respond to whatever the director---nature-- gives us.

But temporary actors are still actors!

Everyone's script is quite similar, and the nature as the director wants us to:

1.Take responsibility

2. Avoid greed, hatred, and delusion; be happy.

The Buddha taught in DN 31:

Children must fulfill their responsibilities as children;

Parents must fulfill their responsibilities as parents;

Husbands and wives must fulfill their responsibilities as spouses;

Students must fulfill their responsibilities as students;

Teachers must fulfill their responsibilities as teachers;

Bosses must fulfill their responsibilities as bosses;

Employees must fulfill their responsibilities as employees;

Friends must fulfill their responsibilities as friends;

Monastics must fulfill their responsibilities as monastics;

Laypeople must fulfill their responsibilities as laypeople.

The most critical requirement of the script is—never give rise to any greed, hatred, or delusion; be happy without defilements!

Photo credit to who owns it

我們所有人都是臨時演員

因為人生中沒有東西是可以控制，沒有東西是常恒的，沒有東西能被帶走

大自然給我們什麼，我們就要跟著反應

但臨時演員都是演員啊！

每個人的劇本都是大同小異，作為導演的大自然就是要我們：

1.要負責任 2.不要起貪嗔癡，要開心

佛陀在DN31中教導，

做子女的要盡子女的責任；

做父母的要盡父母的責任；

做老公老婆的要盡老公老婆的責任；

做學生的要盡學生的責任；

做老師的要盡學生的責任；

做老闆的要盡老闆的責任；

做員工的要盡員工的責任;

做朋友的要盡朋友的責任；

做出家人的要盡出家人的責任；

做在家人要盡在家人的責任

劇本最重要的要求就是--千萬不要起任何貪嗔癡，要開心沒煩惱！ 

Letting go is not about abandoning responsibilities—

that is merely reinforcing self-identity.

We must let go of the attachment to self-identity,

let go of laziness.

---Luang Por Ganha

19-2-2025 

「放下並不是捨棄責任——那只是強化‘自我身份’。我們必須放下對自我身份的執著，放下懶惰。」

--- Luang Por Ganha

2025年2月19日

《Should we take legal actions?》

Question: Should somebody seek legal justice for the wrongdoing of another person to him/her?

Than Ajahn: Well, ideally not if you want to have compassion and goodwill towards that person. Then you just forgive that person who did wrong to you. This will end all problems as there will be no retaliation. If you take legal action, then you might instigate more retaliation from your enemy. So the ideal way is to forgive and forget and move on. It’s already gone anyway, right? What had been done was already done. So it’s better to leave it alone and forget about it. Because if you take legal action, it can also cause you stress. And if you lose, you’ll have more stress and sorrow, and you will lose a lot of money at the same time. So, why do it in the first place, right? Let it go.

This is what radiating compassion or goodwill (mettā) means. Radiating mettā is not by doing chanting, but by actual action of doing it, by forgiving others. A lot of Buddhists think that radiating mettā means doing chanting. But by just doing chanting, they don’t do anything. Chanting is just teaching you how to do it.
Question: Would this stop future harm to other people?

Than Ajahn: Well, if that person wants to harm other people, who can stop him or her from doing it? Unless you kill that person. And then that person will go and take another birth and do it again anyway. So let things be naturally. You just do things on your part to protect yourself. But as far as other people are concerned, who knows? Maybe by you forgiving that person, it might change that person’s character from being a bad person to become a good person. Because there is compassion in this world, there is goodwill in this world.

The Buddha said that you don’t end hatred by hatred; you end hatred by loving kindness.

《我們應該採取法律行動嗎？》

問題：某人是否應該為他人對自己的錯誤行為尋求法律訴訟？

阿贊：理想情況下，如果你想對那個人保持慈悲和善意，那麼就不應該。

你應該原諒對你犯錯的人。這樣可以結束所有問題，因為不會有報復。如果你採取法律行動，可能會激起敵人的更多報復。

因此，理想的方式是原諒、忘記它並繼續前進。事情已經過去了，對吧？已經發生的事情就已經發生了。所以最好是讓它靜置，忘掉它。

因為如果你採取法律行動，也可能會給你帶來壓力。如果你輸了，你會承受更多的壓力和悲傷，同時還會失去很多錢。所以，為什麼一開始要這樣做呢？放手吧。

這就是散發慈悲或善意（mettā）的意思。

散發mettā不是通過誦經，而是通過實際的行動，通過原諒他人來實現。許多佛教徒認為散發mettā就是誦經。但僅僅誦經並不會做任何事情。誦經只是教你如何去做。

問題：這樣做會阻止未來對其他人的傷害嗎？

阿贊：如果那個人想要傷害其他人，誰能阻止他或她呢？除非你殺了那個人。但那個人還是會轉世再去做同樣的事情。所以讓事情自然發展。你只需做好自己應該做的來保護自己。但至於其他人，誰知道呢？也許因為你原諒了那個人，可能會改變那個人的性格，讓他從壞人變成好人。因為這個世界上有慈悲，有善意。

佛陀說，仇恨並不是通過仇恨來結束的，而是通過慈愛來結束的。