獨處和不交際 solitutde and no-socialize 

**信徒問：** 

我該如何放下那種因為隱居、斷絕家人朋友聯繫而產生的罪惡感？我發現自己做得越少、越不強求，就越享受獨處。然而，我仍感到一種必須擁有社交生活、必須更合群的壓力。

**阿姜布拉姆答：** 

事實上，沒有多少人真正重視「你擁有選擇」這件事。甚至這麼多年來，有些女性曾對我說——在過去許多年裡，她們不被允許保持單身，總得找個伴，否則僅僅因為沒有丈夫或伴侶，就會自動被視為怪異或格格不入。但現在你知道，你擁有單身的自由。你不必結婚，不必生兒育女。當這樣的自由成為可能，你就擁有了選擇的權利。你不需要勉強自己去社交。 

**寧可獨處，也別與愚人為伍，或是和那些你根本無法真正溝通的人交往。**

---

2025年4月 (15/19) | 9日禪修營 | 阿姜布拉姆 

Devotee: How do I let go of feelings of guilt for having been a hermit and cutting off family and friends? It seems the less I do and strive, the more I enjoy being alone. However, I feel pressure to have a social life and be more gregarious.

Ajahn Brahm: Not a lot of people actually value the fact that you have a choice and even for many years I think uh some women told me this--- for many years they weren't allowed to be single they always had to find somebody otherwise they just automatically because they didn't have a husband or a partner that they were considered to be strange or weird. But now you know you have the freedom to be single. You don't have to get married. You don't have to have kids. And when that can happen, you have that choice. You don't need to have a social life. Better to be alone than to associate with fools or people who you can't really relate to.

2025 April (15/19) | 9 day Retreat | Ajahn Brahm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5mI0psG684&list=PLf9HOK_Rf1M4Imi4ppID6Rb9NScchKviX&index=16

和人過於親密有一個過患，就是會捲入許多惡業裡

譬如說，當別人在外面受了一點委屈時，就會開始和我們發洩：誰誰誰啊，對我這樣那樣啊！

如果他是我們要好的朋友，一般上我們會怎樣做？ 

不論對錯，通常都會一起罵別人、數說別人的不是，對嗎？

對方是我們的好友，當然支持朋友啦，對嗎？

這其實並不是良好的處理方法

如果別人根本沒有問題，而是我們的朋友有問題；那麼我們一起罵，就變成我們也有問題😂 

但假如此時我們指正我們的朋友，通常他們會很生氣的：為什麼不幫我！！

就算我們的朋友沒問題，而是別人有問題；但因為我們自己也被嗔心所感染，當罵、說是非的時候我們也在造不善業。

當我們加深了雙方的矛盾和怨恨，其實也是犯了不離間語戒

最理想的做法是撲滅朋友的憤怒和不滿、提起別人的優點善意，讓他原諒對方---這個也是十善業中的離離間語、和合之語

但我們的朋友可能會說我們在幫對方，然後更加憤怒😂 

所以較保險的做法是不參與其中，僅僅只是給予陪伴

有些人會選擇靜靜地聆聽，不時給一下反應：是哦，是哦，真的很可憐哦

但有些人也許會更生氣：幹嘛在Hea （敷衍）我 ？！！

所以和人過於親密就會有這些麻煩事....

Being overly intimate with others carries a drawback: one can easily become entangled in much unwholesome karma. 

For example, when someone close to us feels slightly wronged by others, they may vent to us: "So-and-so did this and that to me!" 

If they are a good friend of ours, what do we usually do? 

Regardless of right or wrong, we often join in criticizing others or pointing out their faults, right? 

Since they are our good friend, of course we support them, right? 

However, this is not actually a good way to handle the situation. 

If the other party isn’t at fault, but our friend is the one with the problem, then by joining in the criticism, we also become part of the problem 😂. 

But if, at this moment, we try to correct our friend, they will often get angry: "Why aren’t you on my side?!" 

Even if our friend is not at fault and the other person is, because we ourselves become infected with anger or resentment, when we criticize or gossip, we are also creating unwholesome karma. 

When we deepen conflicts and resentment between parties, we are actually violating the precept of not engaging in divisive speech. 

The ideal approach is to help extinguish our friend’s anger and dissatisfaction, bring up the other person’s good qualities and kind intentions, and encourage forgiveness—this is also part of the ten wholesome actions: avoiding divisive speech and speech pf promoting harmony . 

But our friend might say we are taking the other person’s side and become even angrier 😂. 

Thus, a safer approach is not to get involved, but simply offer companionship. 

Some people may choose to listen quietly, occasionally giving responses like: "Oh, really? That’s really tough." 

But others might get even more upset: "Why are you just brushing me off?!" 

So, being overly intimate with others can lead to these kinds of troubles... 

我們有時是聖人來的

什麼時候？

當要見高僧大德時😂

一切規規矩矩，談吐有禮，什麼邪惡的心念也沒有

但這樣的聖人卻會在離去不久後死去，變回凡夫😂

又或者，我們剛踏進一個新環境，對誰都很有禮貌

簡直就是人類的典範、聖人😂

但認識得久了，這樣的聖人又會死掉了

難怪啊，這是人之常情。

佛陀常常問羅侯羅，有沒有因為一起共住得久了，就輕藐智者？(Sn.337-344)

就算是佛陀、阿羅漢、大師父，我們跟他們出家。一開始還聖人模式，但住久了，所有劣根性就會重新浮現了，會開始對他們沒禮貌了 （AN4.73）

這絕對是我們要注意的事情。佛陀因此教誡比丘們，要好像那些剛來到夫家的媳婦那樣，一直保持慚愧之心。

然而，就算我們可以這樣做到，並不代表別人也能這樣做到。

有時和人太過親近，對方一直掩蓋的劣根性就會全然顯露

難怪有些朋友一去旅行就會絕交，有許多情侶一結婚不久就會離婚

和人共處總會有這些麻煩事情，難怪有人說：‘相見好同住難’

如果想少些煩惱，和人淡淡的就好了，不用太過親密

Sometimes we act like saints.  

When exactly?  

When we’re about to meet a highly respected monk or great teacher 😂  

Everything is perfectly proper: we speak politely, behave impeccably, not a single unwholesome thought arises.

But this “saint” dies shortly after we leave and we turn back into ordinary mortals 😂

Or, when we first step into a new environment, we’re extremely polite to everyone.  

We’re practically the model of humanity, a living saint 😂  

But once we’ve been around for a while, that saint dies again.

No wonder. This is just human nature.

The Buddha often asked Venerable Rāhula:  

“Has living together for a long time caused you to start looking down on the wise?” (Sn. 337–344)  

Even with the Buddha himself, with Arahants, or with our great teachers, when we first ordain and live with them, we’re still in “saint mode.”  

But after living together for a while, all our old bad habits resurface. We start becoming disrespectful and rude toward them (AN 4.73).

This is something we absolutely have to watch out for.  

That’s why the Buddha taught the monks to always maintain a sense of moral shame and fear, just like a new bride who has just entered her husband’s family and is constantly careful and restrained.

However, even if we ourselves manage to do this, it doesn’t mean others will.  

Sometimes when we become too close to someone, all the bad traits they’ve been hiding come pouring out.  

No wonder some friends go on a trip together and end the friendship forever, or many couples divorce shortly after getting married.  

Living closely with others always brings these kinds of troubles. That’s why people say: “It’s easy to meet, but hard to live together.”

If we want fewer headaches, it’s better to keep relationships light and not get too deeply involved.

Sometimes we act like saints. 

When exactly? 

When we’re about to meet a highly respected monk or great teacher 😂 

Everything is perfectly proper: we speak politely, behave impeccably, not a single unwholesome thought arises.

But this “saint” dies shortly after we leave and we turn back into ordinary mortals 😂

Or, when we first step into a new environment, we’re extremely polite to everyone. 

We’re practically the model of humanity, a living saint 😂 

But once we’ve been around for a while, that saint dies again.

No wonder. This is just human nature.

The Buddha often asked Venerable Rāhula: 

“Has living together for a long time caused you to start looking down on the wise?” (Sn. 337–344) 

Even with the Buddha himself, with Arahants, or with our great teachers, when we first ordain and live with them, we’re still in “saint mode.” 

But after living together for a while, all our old bad habits resurface. We start becoming disrespectful and rude toward them (AN 4.73).

This is something we absolutely have to watch out for. 

That’s why the Buddha taught the monks to always maintain a sense of moral shame and fear, just like a new bride who has just entered her husband’s family and is constantly careful and restrained.

However, even if we ourselves manage to do this, it doesn’t mean others will. 

Sometimes when we become too close to someone, all the bad traits they’ve been hiding come pouring out. 

No wonder some friends go on a trip together and end the friendship forever, or many couples divorce shortly after getting married. 

Living closely with others always brings these kinds of troubles. That’s why people say: “It’s easy to meet, but hard to live together.”

If we want fewer headaches, it’s better to keep relationships light and not get too deeply involved.

這是一般人定義的健康，有分：

精神健康

社交健康

身體健康

一般人覺得社交健康非常重要，因為它間接影響了我們的精神健康、身體健康

然而，假如我們是真誠的禪修者、修行人，就會知道我們的社交狀況不一定會影響我們的精神健康

我們甚至不用社交，也能獲得非常好的精神健康

為什麼？

透過禪修，我們自然能夠取得精神上的飽滿、快樂；不用依靠和人的交際和互動來取得快樂

有時和人交際，反而會讓我們的精神健康受損

不斷說說說，讓心非常散亂，貪嗔癡不斷滋生，步向痛苦

和人的交雜，也會滋生執著，帶來痛苦

假如和人的交往不如己意，受人所傷害，也會帶來痛苦

唯有不斷去除煩惱，我們才會得到真正的快樂

This is how ordinary people define health, which is divided into:

*   Mental health

*   Social health

*   Physical health

Ordinary people consider social health to be very important because it indirectly affects our mental and physical health.

However, if we are sincere meditators or spiritual practitioners, we will know that our social situation does not necessarily affect our mental health.

We can even achieve very good mental health without any social interaction.

Why?

Through meditation, we can naturally attain mental fulfillment and happiness; we don't need to rely on socializing and interaction with people to obtain happiness.

Sometimes, socializing with people can instead damage our mental health.

Constantly talking, talking, talking makes the mind very scattered and restless, allowing greed, aversion, and delusion to continuously arise, leading towards suffering.

Mingling with people can also give rise to attachments, which bring suffering.

If interactions with people don't go as we wish, or we are hurt by others, that also brings suffering.

Only by continually abandoning the defilements will we obtain true happiness.

隆波從年輕的時候，就不攀緣，不喜歡攀緣誰。要跟誰去閒聊，什麼老同學會--不要！覺得那個浪費時間，根本沒有什麼好處

坐著去聊、去笑，嘻嘻哈哈的，然後跟原來一模一樣，沒有什麼起色。然後每一天、每一天，時間白白地流失，只是一味地聊、一味地玩、一味地享受。所以隆波是不攀緣的。

隆波讀書還是工作，結束就回家了，不會到處去浪費時間，不想去跟別人攀緣。社會的交往，如果沒有必須的話，就不去。去的只是葬禮，其他是不去的。比如說，婚禮，為什麼要去？即便自己沒有去，他們也是會結婚的，並沒有必要一定要去的。來把時間拿來跟自己一起，來訓練自己；會獲得有價值的結果。

同時代的同學、朋友們，他們全力地去享受，覺得把生命的價值花到極點了。到現在全都變成老太太、老爺爺了。隆波的同學大概已經死掉30-40個了。根本沒有什麼，沒有得到什麼。

但自己不停用心地修行，學法修行。自己有法作為臨時的家，有法作為朋友，就很快樂、寧靜。跟自己獨處很快樂、很寧靜。自己選擇自己的方式。我們選擇跟世間攀緣，我們就活在世間。

我們不停地學習、了解自己的身心，我們就可以出離世間。我們就自己選擇，這個是業果法則。

攀緣世間就會獲得世間；有興趣去學法修行就會獲得法，自己選擇。

沒有誰強迫得了誰。

隆波沒有批評，有的人偷懶，我也沒有什麼意見，那就放手了；隨業流轉。

如果誰修行的話，就非常慈悲。如果誰偷懶的話，隆波就徹底地放手，沒什麼感覺了。

輪迴是非常長久的，因為自己還未對苦不寒而慄，還未看到苦。不知道每次出生，每次都苦。

---隆波帕默

 2025.11.23

Since his youth, Luang Por has never sought out entanglements and has never liked attaching himself to others. To go chat with someone, some old classmates gathering? No! He feels that is a waste of time, utterly without benefit.

Sitting around chatting, laughing, joking and having fun, yet remaining exactly the same as before, without any improvement. Then, day after day, time is wasted in vain, merely chatting, merely playing, merely indulging. Therefore, Luang Por does not seek entanglements.

Whether studying or working, once finished, Luang Por went home. He wouldn't go around wasting time; he had no desire to seek social connections with others. Social engagements, if not necessary, he did not attend. The only events he attended were funerals; others he did not. For instance, weddings—why go? Even if he didn't go, they would still get married. There was no necessity to attend. He preferred to take that time to be with himself, to train himself; this yields valuable results.

His classmates and friends from the same generation fully indulged in enjoyment, feeling they were squeezing the ultimate value out of life. Now, they have all become old ladies and old men. Probably 30-40 of Luang Por's classmates have already passed away. It amounts to nothing; they gained nothing.

But he himself diligently and mindfully practiced, studied and practiced the Dhamma. Having the Dhamma as his provisional home, having the Dhamma as his friend, he is happy and peaceful. Being alone with himself is joyful and serene. We chose our own path. If we choose to entangle ourselves with the world, we live in the world.

If we continuously study and understand our own body and mind, we can transcend the world. We choose for ourselves; this is the law of karmic results.

Entangling with the world, one gains the world. Being interested in studying and practicing the Dhamma, one gains the Dhamma. One chooses for oneself.

No one can force anyone else.

Luang Por does not criticize. If some people are lazy, he also has no particular opinion; he just lets go. They follow the stream of their kamma.

If someone practices, he is very compassionate towards them. If someone is lazy, Luang Por completely lets go, without any particular feeling.

Samsara is extremely long. Because one has not yet been struck with awe and dread towards suffering, has not yet seen suffering. One doesn't know that with every birth, each time, there is suffering.

— Luang Por Pramote

2025.11.23

我們都要準備好做獨男、獨女

因為所有我們遇見的人，無論是好是壞，是愛是恨，全部都只是人生的過客，終究會離我們而去

父母會離開我們

伴侶會離開我們

親戚會離開我們

朋友會離開我們

兒女會離開我們

我們來時自己來，去時也自己去

沒有什麼留得住

如果我們盡快體驗到禪修的快樂

那麼當沒有人有空理我們時，當我們臨終獨自臥倒在病床時；我們也會幸福地笑著

We must all be prepared to walk alone — as solitary men and women.

For everyone we meet, whether good or bad, beloved or resented,

is but a passing traveler in our lives,

and in the end, all will leave us.

Our parents will leave us.

Our partners will leave us.

Our relatives will leave us.

Our friends will leave us.

Our children will leave us.

We come into this world alone,

and we will depart from it alone.

Nothing can truly be held onto.

But if we learn to taste the joy of meditation in time,

then even when no one has time for us,

even when we lie alone on our deathbed —

we will still be able to smile,

with happiness in our hearts.

與人交往、同住，總會捲入許多麻煩和衝突

因為彼此都有不同的性格、喜好、習慣

尤其是婚姻生活、家庭生活，我們更會有所體會。

老婆想控制老公，老公想控制老婆

父母想控制兒女，兒女想控制父母

但我們想要伴侶嗎？我們想要兒女嗎？哈哈！

真正最有利我們精神健康的生活方式，絕對是獨處、禪修、不斷去除貪嗔癡的生活方式

所以佛陀非常讚嘆獨處不交際

Interacting and living with others often entangles us in many troubles and conflicts, because everyone has different personalities, preferences, and habits. We especially experience this in marital life and family life. Wives try to control husbands, husbands try to control wives; parents try to control children, children try to control parents.

But do we still want a partner? Do we still want children? Ha ha!

The lifestyle that is truly most beneficial for our mental health is undoubtedly one of solitude, meditation, and continually abandoning greed, aversion, and delusion.

Therefore, the Buddha highly praised living in solitude and avoiding socializing.

如果我們要根斷痛苦，必須要堅強

為什麼？ 去除痛苦這條道路是獨行道

佛陀說，這世上愚昧的人和有智慧的人相比，就如大地和指尖上的泥土相比 （SN56.63）

我們身邊的人，全都陷入痛苦的泥沼之中

大家都有自己的問題和煩惱

大家聚在一起，只是為了短暫的快樂，或者互噴煩惱

我們不能期望透過和他們交際共處，能夠抵達痛苦的止息

唯一能夠抵達痛苦止息的方法，是親近諸位佛陀、聖眾

學習八聖道，付諸實踐

精進地獨處、禪修

就算是佛陀、大師父、善知識，他們都靠不住，因為他們終有一天要離開我們的

所以根斷痛苦之道，是獨行道

If we want to eradicate suffering, we must be strong.

Why? The path to eliminating suffering is a path one walks alone.

The Buddha said that compared to the number of foolish people in this world, the number of wise people is like a tiny bit of soil on one's fingernail compared to the soil of the whole great earth. (SN 56.63)

The people around us are all stuck in the mire of suffering.

Everyone has their own problems and defilements.

When people gather, it's only for fleeting pleasures or to complain about their troubles to each other.

We cannot expect that by socializing and spending time with them, we will reach the cessation of suffering.

The only way to reach the cessation of suffering is to draw close to the Buddhas and the Noble Sangha.

Learn the Noble Eightfold Path and put it into practice.

Be diligent in solitude and meditation.

Even the Buddha, great teachers, and good spiritual friends are ultimately unreliable, because one day they will leave us.

Therefore, the path to eradicating suffering is a path one walks alone.

孤獨感源自於什麼呢？

源自於渴求熱鬧、渴求和人共處、渴求和人建立親密的關係

一旦我們能捨去這些渴愛，孤獨感便會消除

或者，當我們修習禪定，例如初禪、二禪、三禪、四禪時；幸福感就會洋溢內心，此時我們將什麼都不再需要

What is the source of loneliness?

It stems from the craving for excitement, the craving to be with others, and the craving to form intimate relationships.

Once we can relinquish these cravings, the feeling of loneliness will dissolve.

Alternatively, when we practice stillness, such as the first, second, third, or fourth jhāna, a sense of bliss will fill our hearts. At that point, we will no longer need anything.

有大群眾未必是好事。

一有一個群體、社團，互起矛盾是近乎一定的。大家都有喜歡或不喜歡的人或事。

比方說，我們在求學階段，總會有人搞派對之類的。如果我們是搞手，就總會遇上棘手的問題：

‘他去我才去’

‘誰去我就不去’

對嗎？😂 😂 

有時要維繫一班人，我們就要這個又給面子，那個又給面子；非常累人。

這樣還好，但當明顯的矛盾顯現時，這才棘手

佛陀時代，Kosambī的僧團因為戒律問題而互相吵架、對立、分裂。當時佛陀也有出面調停，但僧人們竟然連佛陀都不給面子。最後佛陀要捨棄群眾去森林隱居

如果有人連佛陀都不給面子，那何況我們？😂 

在《獨覺佛傳》中，有位獨覺佛說：

‘見到明亮的金（鐲），由鐵匠之子善完成 

兩塊在手上碰撞，獨行如犀牛為恰當 ’

當我們和人共處、或者過於親近，肯定會有麻煩事發生。

因此佛陀很讚歎獨居論、不交際論的（AN10.69）

所以不要覺得有大群眾好像很威那樣，其實裡面通常是問題多多的。

自己一個更好

**Having a large following isn't necessarily a good thing.**

Whenever a group or community forms, conflicts are almost inevitable. Everyone has people or things they like or dislike. 

For example, during our school years, there were always people organizing parties or gatherings. If we were the ones organizing, we’d inevitably run into tricky situations like: 

"I’ll only go if *so-and-so* go," or 

"I won’t go if *so-and-so* is going." 

Right? 😂😂 

Sometimes, to keep a group together, we have to constantly save face for this person and accommodate that person—it’s utterly exhausting.

That’s still ok. But when clear conflicts arise, that’s when things get really tricky. 

During the Buddha’s time, the monastic community in Kosambī argued, conflicted, and split over precept issues. The Buddha himself stepped in to mediate, but the monks didn’t even show him respect.  Eventually, the Buddha had to relinquish the group and enter the forest alone to practice solitude

If there were people who didn’t respect the Buddha, what more us? 😂 

In the *Paccekabuddha legend*, a Paccekabuddha said: 

*"Seeing a bright gold bracelet, well-crafted by a blacksmith’s son, 

Clashing against each other when worn together, it is better to wander alone like a rhinoceros."* 

When we live closely or associate too intimately with others, troubles are bound to arise. 

That’s why the Buddha praised the topics on dwelling alone and avoiding social entanglement (AN 10.69). 

So, don’t assume that having a large following is something impressive—usually, it’s fraught with problems. 

It’s better to be on our own. 

所有的人都不停地尋找快樂，一輩子都不停地在找快樂，誰都希望獲得快樂。如果按照出家眾的說法，他們的這種快樂稱之為「五欲之樂」——源自於看電影、聽音樂、吃好東西、參加共同活動時與朋友聊天。這種快樂都屬於跟別人攀緣、與別人有關的快樂。與別人有關的快樂是比較夾生的，並不是真的快樂。因為人是很亂的，每個人都會有一兩件麻煩事，大家聚集在一起，然後所有的都是亂七八糟的事。好玩，那只是好玩，但並不快樂，會很累、很疲憊，大部分人的獲得僅僅是這樣而已。他們區分不了快樂和好玩之間的差別，會覺得好玩之後很快樂，但實際上很累、很麻煩、很複雜。去卡拉OK、喝酒、唱歌，聽的人誰都不會有快樂，只有唱歌的人有快樂，但聽的人並沒有快樂。

世間的快樂稱之為「五欲之樂」，世間總是會相互之間有一些衝撞、衝突。佛陀教導我們寧靜的快樂，他說能與寧靜的快樂相提並論的快樂是不存在的，因此，寧靜是快樂的頂點。平常的這種快樂並不是真的快樂，然後會疲憊不堪，只是好玩而已。有的人以為有了錢會很快樂，但為了賺錢累到死啊，得到錢之後又想怎麼樣才可以把錢保住。有錢、有家、有房子，希望有快樂，有房子之後又有很多緊隨而至的負擔——必須要去照顧、要去維修。因此，世間的快樂並不寧靜，有的全是動盪不安，全是仰賴於色聲香味觸之類的，並不寧靜，一直有衝突和矛盾。喜歡一個女人，就必須要去競爭，因為有其他人也喜歡；喜歡一個男人，這個人會搶，那個人也會爭；有些男人，大家都會很關注，相互之間會一直有一些衝撞、有一些衝突矛盾。

世間人真的很可憐，不停地在找所謂的快樂，不知道真正很深、很細膩的快樂是寧靜。那怎麼做我們才可以寧靜？如果我們活在世間，我們就要努力地去少跟別人打交道，只是在必須的情況下跟別人打交道。如果完全不跟別人聯繫也很難，因為人類是一個群居型的物種，什麼東西都單獨去做的話就會很難。但是要懂得保持距離，懂得跟人保持一定的距離，這樣心就會有快樂，就會越來越寧靜。跟別人拼命地去打交道，是沒有寧靜的。因此，高僧大德到了時間就會迴避與人打交道，即便是佛陀，到了時間他也需要迴避。佛陀在有些時段三個月不見任何人，不跟任何人打交道。

如果我們活在世間，有時間我們就偶爾去跟他們做一些迴避。以前隆波工作的時候，把休假的時間積攢起來，在休假期間不跟別人去這裡玩那裡玩、去喝酒之類的。隆波把所有的休假集中起來，都用於去寺廟，去寺廟並沒有做什麼，而是去修行。去森林裡面，在樹底下修行，白天會待在樹底下，晚上有寮房就睡寮房，沒有的話就自己搭帳篷，很輕鬆。大自然不會引誘煩惱習氣，我們的心不需要動盪起伏，會快樂。因此即便我們作為居士，也要懂得跟別人保持一定的距離，懂得不時地獨處。

如果我們無法這樣獨處，那就待在自己家裡面，要給自己樹立一些規則：這個時間段是我的個人時間，不是用來看電視連續劇的，個人時間是打坐、念經、做固定形式練習，每一天都這樣做。如果一整天很忙，一天至少能夠安排一個小時跟自己獨處，那也很好。然後不停地修習寧靜，去認識了解自己，不去跟別人攀緣。

作為居士也必須要有覺性和智慧，懂得從寧靜中找快樂，只是在必須的情況下去跟別人交往。有時間就來迴避，來找寧靜，來禮佛、念經、打坐、聽法之類，必須安排時間出來，一定要懂得自律，這樣能夠獲得一定程度的寧靜。如果我們想擁有更好的寧靜，我們要訓練入定，進入禪定。

All people constantly seek happiness, searching for it throughout their entire lives; everyone hopes to attain happiness. According to the teachings of monastics, this kind of happiness is called "the pleasure of the five desires"—it comes from watching movies, listening to music, eating delicious food, and chatting with friends during shared activities. This kind of happiness all involves attaching to others and is dependent on others. Happiness that is related to others is somewhat raw and not true happiness. Because people are chaotic, everyone has one or two troublesome matters. When everyone gathers together, it all becomes a mess . Fun is just fun, but it is not happiness; it is exhausting and draining. What most people obtain is merely this. They cannot distinguish between happiness and fun; they think that after having fun, they are happy, but in reality, it is very tiring, troublesome, and complicated. Going to karaoke, drinking, singing—no one who listens feels happy; only the person singing feels happy, but those listening do not.

Worldly happiness is called "the pleasure of the five desires." In the world, there are always some collisions and conflicts between people. The Buddha taught us about the happiness of tranquility. He said that no happiness can compare to the happiness of tranquility; therefore, tranquility is the pinnacle of happiness. Ordinary happiness like this is not true happiness; it leads to exhaustion and is merely fun. Some people think that having money will make them very happy, but they work themselves to death to earn it. After obtaining money, they then worry about how to protect it. Having money, a family, and a house—they hope for happiness. But after having a house, many burdens follow—they must maintain and repair it. Therefore, worldly happiness is not tranquil; it is full of instability and relies entirely on forms, sounds, smells, tastes, and touches. It is not peaceful and is always filled with conflict and contradiction. If you like a woman, you must compete because others also like her; if you like a man, this person will fight, and that person will contend; some men attract much attention, and there are always collisions and conflicts between people.

People in the world are truly pitiful, constantly searching for so-called happiness, unaware that the truly deep and subtle happiness is tranquility. So, what can we do to achieve tranquility? If we live in the world, we must strive to interact less with others, only engaging with them when necessary. It is very difficult to completely cut off contact with others because humans are a social species; doing everything alone is challenging. But we must know how to keep our distance, how to maintain a certain distance from people. This way, the mind will find happiness and become increasingly tranquil. Frantically interacting with others brings no tranquility. Therefore, great monastics, when the time comes, will avoid interacting with people. Even the Buddha, when the time came, needed to retreat. During certain periods, the Buddha would not see anyone for three months and would not interact with anyone.

If we live in the world, when we have time, we should occasionally retreat from them. In the past, when Luang Por worked, he saved up his vacation time. During his vacations, he did not go out with others to have fun here and there, drink, etc. Luang Por concentrated all his vacations to go to the temple. Going to the temple wasn't for doing anything else but to practice. He went into the forest to practice under the trees. During the day, he would stay under the trees; at night, if there was a hut, he slept in the hut; if not, he set up a tent himself. It was very relaxing. Nature does not provoke our defilements and habits; our mind does not need to be turbulent and will be happy. Therefore, even as lay practitioners, we must know how to keep a certain distance from others and know how to be alone from time to time.

If we cannot be alone in this way, then we can stay at home and set some rules for ourselves: this period is my personal time, not for watching TV series. Personal time is for meditation, chanting, and formal practice. Do this every day. If you are very busy all day, being able to arrange at least one hour a day to be alone with yourself is also very good. Then, continuously cultivate tranquility, get to know and understand yourself, and avoid attaching to others.

As lay practitioners, we must also have mindfulness and wisdom, knowing how to find happiness in tranquility, and only interact with others when necessary. When we have time, we should retreat, seek tranquility, pay respects to the Buddha, chant, meditate, listen to the Dharma, etc. We must set aside time and know how to discipline ourselves. This way, we can attain a certain level of tranquility. If we wish to have even greater tranquility, we must train to enter stillness, to enter meditative absorption.

---Luang Por Pramote

2024.03.30

所以社交是麻煩來的

有誰的意見和喜好是永遠一致的？

必然會遇上發生矛盾的時候

有一位獨覺佛曾說，

他見到由鐵匠所造明亮的金環

這兩塊在手上碰撞，所以獨行如犀牛角為恰當

也有另一位獨覺佛說，

我和同伴在一起，會說閑雜和責備的說話

見到並且害怕未來的這個，所以獨行如犀牛角為恰當

佛陀教導，我們應多獨處

因為獨處的人能如實知見無常性（SN35.161)

最終抵達涅槃

So socializing is troublesome indeed 

Whose opinions and preferences are ever perfectly aligned? 

Conflicts are bound to arise. 

One Paccekabuddha once said: 

He saw bright gold rings crafted by a blacksmith— 

Two pieces clashing in hand, thus it is fitting to wander alone like a rhinoceros horn. 

Another Paccekabuddha also said: 

When I am with companions, idle talk and blame arise. 

Seeing this and fearing what may come, it is fitting to wander alone like a rhinoceros horn. 

The Buddha taught that we should often dwell in solitude, 

For one who stays alone comprehends the true nature of impermanence (SN 35.161), 

Ultimately reaching Nibbāna. 

獨處比較好。

為什麼？😂

相信許多人都要同感

傳了個訊息去，

隔一會兒就忍不住去檢查對方有沒有回覆😂

哎喲，他開機了，還未回覆。是裝作沒看見還是怎樣？

哎喲，已讀哦，他不理我了？🥺

我是否做錯了些什麼？🥺

吶，我們越攀緣，就越多這些煩惱

越少攀緣，就越少煩惱

It's better to be alone.

Why? 😂

It's believed that many people can relate.

we send a message,

and after a while, we can’t help but check if the other person has replied 😂.

"Oh no, they’ have received the message but haven’t replied yet. Are they pretending not to see it or what?"

"Oops, 'seen'—are they ignoring me? 🥺

Did I do something wrong? 🥺"

See, the more we cling to people, the more of these troubles we have.

The less we cling to people, the fewer troubles we experience.

通常一個宗教團體，都是滲雜許多問題的

佛教、天主教、基督教…全都一樣

為什麼這樣？ 我們試想想，為什麼人們要走來信仰、熱衷於宗教？

因為不開心嘛！

佛陀說，苦是信仰的近因 （SN12.23)

如果大家都完全開心和滿足、什麼痛苦都沒有，又有甚麼需要信些甚麼、學習些什麼？

所以通常來到宗教組織的，都是帶著問題和煩惱來的

要關愛、要朋友、要幫忙、要某些東西，來填補內心的空虛、取得快樂

所以，很多時候，宗教組織就是問題的聚集地😂

人人都有很厚重的煩惱

一觸碰到別人本來就很大的自我，就出事了：

是非、妒忌、吝嗇、惡口、離間、怨恨、惡意、霸凌😂

除非我們是去【無私】付出、幫忙、布施，不然肯定會惹上一大堆麻煩上身的

佛教是一個很特別的宗教，

不求別人來滿足自己的貪欲，因為渴愛是痛苦的原因

而是追求貪欲的止息---貪欲的止息就是痛苦的止息

佛陀常常教誡比丘們要獨處，因為獨處的比丘能如實知見無常性 （SN35.161)

一旦我們看到無常，就會厭倦並放下執著、解脫自在

想開心根本不用別人的關愛、朋友、別人的幫忙、要些什麼

沒有貪嗔癡的心就是快樂的心

所以取得能夠滅除痛苦的方法、致力於去除自我、提升自己的戒定慧，是加入宗教團體的最好目的，而不是要些其他什麼

Generally, religious groups are fraught with many issues. 

Buddhism, Catholicism, Christianity... they are all the same. 

Why is this? Let's think about it—why do people turn to and become devoted to religion? 

Because they are unhappy! 

The Buddha said that suffering is the proximate cause of faith (SN 12.23). 

If everyone were completely happy and satisfied, free from all suffering, what need would there be to believe in something or learn something? 

Therefore, those who come to religious organizations usually bring their problems and defilements with them. 

They seek care, friends, help, or something to fill their inner emptiness and attain happiness. 

As a result, religious organizations often become gathering places for problems 😂. 

Everyone carries heavy burdens of defilements. 

When one touches upon another's already inflated ego, trouble arises: 

Gossip, jealousy, stinginess, harsh speech, discord, resentment, ill will, bullying 😂. 

Unless we are selflessly giving, helping, and practicing generosity, we are bound to attract a lot of trouble. 

Buddhism is a unique religion. 

It does not seek others to satisfy one's own desires, because craving is the cause of suffering. 

Instead, it pursues the cessation of craving—the end of craving is the end of suffering. 

The Buddha often admonished monks to dwell in solitude, for a monk in solitude can truly know and see impermanence (SN 35.161). 

Once we see impermanence, we become disenchanted, let go of attachments, and attain liberation and ease. 

To be happy, we fundamentally do not need others' care, friends, help, or anything else. 

A mind free from greed, hatred, and delusion is inherently a happy mind. 

Therefore, the best purpose for joining a religious group is to obtain the method for extinguishing suffering, to devote oneself to eliminating the ego, and to enhancing one's precepts, stillness, and wisdom—not to seek anything else. 

活在這個世界，要學會一個字---‘忍’😂 

為什麼？ 

我們誰是阿羅漢？

不是阿羅漢的話，肯定都會有煩惱，都不是完美的

別人因為貪嗔癡而製造麻煩給我們，這很正常啊~

不要以為人人都是阿羅漢嘛~

和人共處，就預了要有麻煩事發生；就算是好朋友，試試天天日對夜對吖~很快大家都露出前所未見的缺點，互相的好感驟降，嚴重的話甚至要分道揚鑣

我們其實也一樣，因為貪嗔癡而不斷製造麻煩給別人，傷害別人；別人也一直這樣忍我們

所以我們忍耐別人也很合理😂

如果不想捲入麻煩，盡量獨處不交際，專心去除自己的貪嗔癡，專心享受禪定的極樂就好了😂

佛陀教誡修行人，應該努力著手獨處。

因為獨處的人能如實知道身體、感受、認知、意志、覺知的集起與滅沒（SN22.6）

如此解脫一切苦

**Living in This World, We Must Learn One Word—"Endure" 😂** 

**Why?** 

Who among us is an *arahant*? 

If we’re not *arahants*, we definitely still have defilements—none of us are perfect. 

It’s completely normal for others to cause us trouble out of greed, hatred, or delusion. 

Don’t expect everyone to be an *arahant*! 

When we interact with people, please expect problems to arise. Even with close friends—try spending every single day together, and soon we’ll see flaws we never noticed before. Mutual goodwill plummets, and in serious cases, we might even part ways. 

Let’s be honest—we’re no different. Out of greed, hatred, or delusion, we also create trouble and hurt others. And yet, others endure us all the time. 

So it’s only fair that we endure them too. 😂 

If we want to avoid drama, it’s best to stay alone, minimize socializing, focus on uprooting our own greed, hatred, and delusion, and just enjoy the bliss of stillness. 😂 

The Buddha taught that practitioners should strive for solitude. 

Why? Because those who dwell alone truly understand the arising and passing away of the body, feelings, perceptions, mental formations, and consciousness (SN22.6). 

This is how one is liberated from all suffering. 

無事不要與一群人閒聚，否則你在浪費禪定的時間。

閒聚的危險是：

如果你們的行為不在一個層次，會升起惱怒。     

如果你們的觀點不一致，會有爭論、升起雜染。

好比梯田裡的水，高處往低處流，會發出大聲響。水沿著平地流，很少出聲。

與眾閒聚好比把菜澆在飯上，很快就壞，不能保存多久。如果把飯與菜分放在兩個盤里，不那麼容易壞。人們自處時，很少出麻煩。

Do not idly gather in crowds unnecessarily, for you waste the time that could be spent in meditation."

The dangers of idle gatherings are:

If your conduct is not on the same level, irritation will arise.

If your views do not align, arguments and mental defilements will emerge.

It is like water in terraced fields:

Water flowing from high to low ground makes loud noises,

while water flowing evenly across level ground remains quiet.

Gathering in crowds is like pouring vegetables over rice—

it spoils quickly and cannot be kept for long.

But if rice and vegetables  are kept separate on different plates,

they do not spoil as easily.

When people dwell alone, troubles rarely occur.

~ Ajahn Lee Dhammadharo

如果修行想進步，要學會內向，多些獨處；不要那麼外向😂 （Ref. AN5.149-150)

外向對於品格提升、 心靈品質的提升沒有絲毫益處；只有墮落

為什麼？ 佛陀說啊，這個世界傻人和不善人就如大地上的泥土一樣多；智者和善人就如指尖上的泥土一樣少（SN56)

修行圈子以外，幾乎全部都是傻人、 不善人；他們不懂什麼是戒，什麼是定，什麼是慧

天天糊里糊塗地過活，享受感官快樂；差一點的就造作諸惡，毫無道德

我們試試黏著他們？很快就會被同化（Iti.76 ）

就算是學佛的群體，細心看一下，有多少個是認真去除自己的煩惱和不善的？幾乎所有人都是邊學邊保留或增加自己的煩惱；黏著他們也不會有什麼很大的好處，除非他們的心靈素質比自己還好

但如果喜好聚會，也必然不好。聚在一起會做什麼？說說說----都在說沒用的話，心不停散亂。就算是說佛法；有很多時候都在滋長自己的我慢和貪欲。

喜歡聚會的人也必然會滋生對人的執著；構成內心的負擔

任何的貪嗔癡、 不善都是痛苦的同義詞

如果不想痛苦，就要內向些，做I 人😂 不要過份交際。

If we want to make progress in spiritual practice, learn to be introverted and spend more time alone; don’t be so extroverted 😂 *(Ref. AN5.149-150)*

Being extroverted brings no benefit at all to the cultivation of virtue or the refinement of the mind—only decline.

Why? The Buddha said that in this world, foolish and unwholesome people are as plentiful as the dirt on the ground, while wise and virtuous people are as scarce as the dirt under a fingernail (SN 56).

Outside the circle of spiritual practitioners, almost everyone is foolish and unwholesome. They don’t understand what precepts, stillness, or wisdom are. They live their days in confusion, chasing sensory pleasures. The worse ones commit all kinds of misdeeds, devoid of any ethics.

If we try to cling to them? We’ll quickly be influenced and corrupted (Iti.76).

Even among those who study Buddhism, if we look closely, how many are genuinely working to uproot their defilements and unwholesome tendencies? Nearly everyone is learning while still preserving or even increasing their defilements. Associating with them won’t bring much benefit—unless their spiritual qualities are better than ours.

But if we’re fond of gatherings, that’s also problematic. What do people do when they gather? Talk, talk, talk—mostly useless chatter, keeping the mind restless. Even when discussing the Dhamma, it often just fuels their pride and greed.

Those who love socializing will inevitably develop attachment to people, creating mental burdens.

Any form of greed, hatred, delusion, or unwholesomeness is synonymous with suffering. If we don’t want suffering, be more introverted—be an "I" person 😂—and avoid excessive socializing.

我們每個人其實都是麻煩友😂 

為什麼？ 貪嗔癡就是麻煩的製造者

為什麼大家有那麼多工場問題、人際關係問題、婚姻問題、家庭問題？ 因為對方是麻煩友，我們也是麻煩友 😂

一個團體要沒有麻煩事發生，幾乎是不可能的。因為所有人都是麻煩友😂

就算真的沒有麻煩事發生，僅僅只是大家在別人面前忍耐裝作不麻煩而已😂實際上內心還是麻煩友一名

所以與其和麻煩友糾纏在一起，不如退出來，獨處不交際。自己一個靜靜的，努力把自己轉化成不麻煩友

一旦我們成功轉化自己。麻煩的只是別人，我們就不再麻煩了😂

The Truth Is, We're All Trouble-Makers 😂

Why? Because greed, hatred, and delusion are the ultimate troublemakers.

Why do we have so many workplace conflicts, relationship issues, marital problems, and family drama? Because they're trouble-makers... and so are we 😂

For a group to have zero troubles is nearly impossible. Why? Because everyone’s a trouble-maker 😂

Even if things seem peaceful, it’s usually just people pretending not to be trouble makers in front of others 😂 Deep down, we're all still trouble-makers at heart.

So instead of getting tangled up with other trouble-makers, it’s better to step back, stay alone, and avoid socializing. Be by ourself in quiet solitude, and work on transforming ourself into a non-trouble-maker.

Once we successfully change ourselves, the trouble stays with others—and we’re no longer part of it 😂

無論在世間或出世間的層面上，若想變得強大和繁榮，就必須學會享受獨處。

為什麼？獨處意味著減少他人所帶來的干擾。

若過度社交，我們的心將持續散亂不安。

當心無法保持平靜與專注，智慧就會變得極其薄弱；我們便難以妥善且高效地處事。

缺乏集中力，我們便無法如實觀照事物，覺悟根本不可能！

所以，若想強大，請學會享受獨處...

No matter on wordly or unworldly aspects, if we want to be strong and prosperous; we must enjoy being alone.

Why? Being alone means less distractions from others.

If we engage in over-socialization, our mind will be constantly restless.

When our mind is not still and concentrated, wisdom becomes very weak; we cannot do things well and efficiently.

Without stillness, it is impossible for us to see things as they are, it is impossible for enlightenment to occur!

So, if we want to be strong, learn to enjoy being alone...

image cred. to who owns it

《避免攀緣》

想修行很好，一定要懂得自律。 隆波從居士的時候，社會的那些事物，一般不是必須的工作，一般是不去的，大部分時間是用於修行。

自己一個人獨處，本來特別快樂的，非要跟別人去攀緣才去，每個人都有各種各樣的問題，遇到了之後，根本沒有任何好處。 

比如以前去外府，到了傍晚的話，都會去應酬，隆波不要的，隆波能夠躲，盡量躲的。 

如果去到哪個府的話，都會先去調查，那個府附近會不會有高僧大德在附近。 不是說去清邁之後，高僧大德是在mae sai，就需要看清邁附近的高僧大德。 

到了晚上他們應酬的時候，自己就逃了，躲了。 稍微給他們看一看，然後就躲掉了。 

然後去跟修行人互動，那個更加精神，更加興奮。 

喝酒、吸毒，你只是散亂，第二天早上又會頭痛。 

看到沙門是很吉祥的。 實時的互動，法的交流，這是吉祥的，這樣我們就會進步。 因此大家別太迷失在世間了.

很多人龍坡遇到了之後就會這個棒喝，到處不停的參與各種活動。 有人說稍微緩一緩，然後他說這個是做功德的事情。你還反駁，你真是蠢啊！

好的寶貝更好，更大的寶貝（禪修之樂）不要，你非要這個芝麻，非要西瓜。 

---隆波帕默

2025.04.26 

"Avoid Frivolous Socializing"

The intention to practice is excellent, but self-discipline is essential. 

When I was still a layperson, I avoided unnecessary social engagements—most of my time was devoted to practice.

Solitude is profoundly joyful, avoiding seeking out distractions. Every person carries their own problems; interacting aimlessly brings no real benefit.

For example:

During provincial travels, others would socialize in the evenings—I always declined, slipping away when possible.

Upon arriving in a new province, my first inquiry was: "Are there any highly attained monks nearby?"

Not after I have gone cities like Chiang Mai, but they have gone to Mae Sai.

When evening came and they were socializing, I would escape and hide. I'd let them see me briefly, then slip away quietly. Then I'd go interact with Dhamma practitioners - that was far more uplifting and energizing.

Drinking alcohol or taking drugs only leads to distraction, and you'll wake up with a headache the next morning. But encountering monastic practitioners is truly auspicious. Real-time interaction and Dhamma exchange are profoundly beneficial - this is how we genuinely progress. That's why we shouldn't get too lost in worldly affairs.

Many people, after meeting  Luang Por will get reminded strictly, because they participate nonstop in all kinds of activities. They say they are just  relaxing a bit, they retort, 'these are merit-making activities!' 

Ah you still argue? You are foolish!

[It's like] rejecting truly precious treasures (the joy of meditation) in favor of lesser ones. You're chasing after sesame seeds while ignoring the watermelon!

--- Luang Por Pramote

2025.04.26

craving is the cause of your lonliness.

Craving for sensual pleasure, craving for people and things

----Ajahn Suchart

渴望是你孤獨的根源。
對感官享受的渴望，對人和事物的渴望。

----阿姜蘇查特

《Let people give whatever advice to you 》

Devotee: my parents advise me to acquire someone around me by maintaing certain image

Ajahn Suchart: They are just being delusional , thinking that their lifestyles are good for you. When you know better than them, you know that the best lifestyle is to be alone and peaceful, be content with yourself. 

Let them give whatever advice to you. It is naturally for people to always giving advice to people. The best way to deal with it is just to nod your head, 'ok, ok , ok' 

Don't try to argue, it will start a problem if you start to argue with them.

It is your life, you are the one who choose. They don't live your life. So you have to choose your life which is suitable for you.

When I told someone I wanted to become a monk, he became very sad, he said, ' why you want to become a monk? you are not a beggar! you can make a living!' 

they think being a monk is being a beggar . Because they don't understand the buddhist concept of renunciation. They think they need a lot of things to be happy; to be respectable, you need to have a lot of things that people have.

But are they happy? They are not happy.

They always worry, ' how long will this thing last? can we lose all things one day? like right now?'  Look at the stock market. Look at all the money lost in stock market in just a few days. 

Are they happy? people with lots of investment in stock market. I think they want to kill themselves.

So don't worry about people giving you opinions. As long as you know what the right opinion should be. The opinions given by the Buddha, just follow the opinions given by the Buddha. It is a true way to peace and happiness. Everything else is suffering. Ways towards sufferings, but not the way towards happiness or free from sufferings.

But people don't understand . They don't see the results appear in the mind, like the Buddha. How happy the Buddha is? compared to when he was a prince. When he was a prince, he felt horrified. Every time he thought of the body getting old, getting sick and gettng to die. But after his enlightenment, his mind becomes peaceful, happy all the time. And he was living like a beggar, no material possessions at all. So you can just listen to the Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha as your instructers. Other people can teach you whatever they want, just nod your head, but you don't need to follow what they say.

If their teaching contradicts the teaching of the Buddha, you should take the Buddha's teaching instead. That's why we take refuge in the Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha.

Refuge here means treating them as our teachers and guides

Always look at the Buddha as your model,what the Buddha did?  Did he need to have a lot of money and possessions?  He just want to be alone in the forest, where he find real happiness and contentment.

《讓人隨意給你建議》

信徒：我的父母建議我通過維持某種形象來獲取周圍的人。

阿姜蘇差特：這只是愚癡而已，以為他們的生活方式對你有好處。當你比他們知道得更多的時候，你知道最好的生活方式是獨自平靜，自己感到滿足。

讓他們隨意給你建議。人們總是會給予他人建議，這是自然而然的。應對的最佳方式就是點點頭，說「好，好，好」。不要試圖爭辯，因為如果你開始與他們爭辯，就會產生問題。這是你的人生，你是選擇的人。他們不會過你的生活。所以你必須選擇適合自己的生活。

當我告訴某人我想成為一名僧侶時，他變得非常傷心，說：「你為什麼想成為僧侶？你不是乞丐！你可以賺錢！」他們認為做僧侶就是乞討。因為他們不理解佛教放下的概念。他們認為需要很多東西才能快樂；要受人尊敬，就需要擁有很多別人擁有的東西。但他們快樂嗎？他們並不快樂。他們總是擔心：「這些東西能維持多久？有一天我們會失去一切嗎？比如現在？」看看股市。看看在股市中短短幾天內損失了多少錢。

他們快樂嗎？那些在股市中有大量投資的人。我覺得他們想自殺。

所以不要因為別人給你的意見而困擾。只要你知道正確的意見應該是什麼，那就是佛陀的教誨。就只是遵循佛陀的意見。這是真正通往平靜和快樂的道路。其他一切都是痛苦的。是通往痛苦的道路，而不是通往快樂或脫離痛苦的道路。

但人們不理解。他們看不到心中的結果。就像佛陀一樣，佛陀多麼快樂？與他當王子時相比。當他是王子時，他感到恐懼。每次想到身體變老、得病和死亡時，他都感到恐懼。但在他覺悟之後，他的心變得平靜，時刻快樂。他過著像乞丐一樣的生活，沒有物質財產。因此，你可以聆聽佛陀、法和僧作為你的指導。其他人可以隨意教你，但你只需點點頭，無需遵循他們的話。

如果他們的教導與佛陀的教導相矛盾，你應該選擇佛陀的教導。這就是我們皈依佛、法和僧的原因。皈依在這裡意味著將他們視為我們的老師和指導者。時刻以佛陀為榜樣，佛陀做了什麼？他需要很多錢和財產嗎？他只是想在森林中獨處，找到真正的快樂和滿足。

樹木也懂得安於獨處， 和其他樹木保持距離

佛陀說， 有兩種遠離： 那是身遠離、心遠離(AN46.3)

身遠離， 即是獨處。 我們都要留點時間給自己。

假如我們常常和人一起， 便要被迫交際、交談， 心便會散亂。 如果接近的人是沒有戒、定、慧， 沒有美德的話， 心不夠堅定， 沒有正念的話， 我們也會被感染。

所以佛陀對出家人或有心修行的人很強調獨居與不交際 (AN5.90)

心遠離， 就是禪定的培育、智慧的培育。 當心進入深度禪定的時候， 會切斷一切感官， 剩下心，達致遠離。 儘管禪定不太深， 也已經足以讓心不跟隨外在對象動盪起伏。

智慧的培育有助我們看清無常、苦、無我的真相， 不執著一切事物， 心和一切保持距離。

這是真正的遠離、舒服

《不交際》

社會大環境會笑人‘anti-social' , 即不愛交際

但其實一定程度的antisocial對自我提升來說，是頗有用的哦～

佛陀曾說，喜好聚會是衰敗的原因之一（小部。衰敗經）

為什麼？我們本身有自己的工作與義務。假如都把時間用在消遣的交際上，那便會少了時間用在工作、 家庭、 提升自我身上。該做的不做，或者少了時間做；自然導向衰敗墮落。

世間大部分人都是愚蠢、 沒有道德的（SN56）。所以大部分聚會都是傾向於世俗的話題，導向增加慾望，惡意，傷害的話題。年輕人可能會談追女孩子、 淫穢之事、 追明星、 電視劇集、 音樂等等增加煩惱的話題。

老一點的就可能會談賺錢、 女人、 名利、 是非、 兒孫。

正念不夠強，聚會完就會越來越多煩惱，越來越多痛苦

就如Luang ta maha bua 所說：【如果與不道德的人、欺騙者、迷失的人交往，而我們的正念不足，不久後我們會被潛移默化，而不自知地受到影響。】

而且，當我們的修行質量不夠，常常說話，心就會散亂。心一散亂，什麼貪嗔癡都出來了。常常聚會，心便會一直亂亂亂，缺乏集中的心。心一沒有定力；記憶力，智力，判斷力也會衰退（AN5.193 ），影響了我們的生活，人際關係和工作。也會影響我們修行。

摩訶拘絺羅尊者曾說，有些人，當依止佛陀或某位導師,他很柔和、謙遜、寂靜,但一遠離他們,和其他人交際、親密、不控制感官地說無用的話時,貪會使心墮落,之後還俗（AN6.60)

有些出家人，就是因為常常去俗家那裡交際；沒有以正念守護好自己的心。一旦見到衣著暴露的女人，貪心和性慾就生起，使他還俗。（SN20.10 ）

佛陀也說，交際是使到修行退失的其中一個因素（AN8.79）

因此假如想使世間和出世間都繁榮穩定，就要避免過度交際，讓心混亂

透過社交而獲得的快樂是伴隨痛苦的。一旦執著某人，心就會沉重擔憂，充滿痛苦。假如他們不理我們，我們也會難過生氣。聚會完後有時也會充滿空虛感。

其實快樂不一定需要從社交中得到。禪修所得到的快樂比此更加穩定與高尚，是連綿不斷的幸福感。而且不需要什麼，只需要學Ajahn Brahm 那樣 ’放鬆～到極點～‘ ’放下～到極點～‘ 禪定的快樂就會自然生起。

當內心充滿正念與定力，無論處理什麼都會得心應手，戰無不勝。

"Non-Socializing"

The society may label and laugh at people who don't enjoying social interactions as "anti-social" . However, a certain degree of being anti-social can actually be quite beneficial for self-improvement!

The Buddha once said that a fondness for gatherings is one of the causes of decline (Minor Collection, Decline Sutra).

Why is that? We all have our own work and obligations. If we spend all our time on socializing for leisure, we will naturally have less time for work, family, and personal development. Neglecting what needs to be done or having less time to do it will naturally lead to decline.

Most people in the world are foolish and lack morality (SN 56). Thus, most gatherings tend to center around secular topics which include desires, malice, and harmful discussions. 

Young people may talk about dating, indecent matters, celebrities, TV shows, music, and other defilements-driven topics. 

Older individuals might discuss making money, women, fame, gossip, and their descendants. 

With insufficient mindfulness, gatherings can result in increasing defilements and suffering.

As Luang Ta Maha Bua said: "If we associate with immoral people, deceivers, or those who are lost, and our mindfulness is weak, we will soon be subtly influenced and affected without realizing it."

Moreover, when the quality of our practice is insufficient, frequent talking can scatter the mind. Once the mind becomes scattered, all forms of greed, anger, and ignorance can arise. 

Frequent socializing keeps the mind in a state of chaos, lacking stillness. 

Without mental stillness; memory, intelligence, and judgment will decline (AN 5.193), affecting our lives, relationships, and work, as well as our practice.

Venerable Maha kosila once said that some people, when relying on the Buddha or a teacher, may be gentle, humble, and peaceful. However, once they distance themselves from them and socialize with others, engaging in uncontrolled meaningless talk, greed will lead their minds to decline, causing them to return to lay life (AN 6.60). 

Some monastics lose their way because they frequently socialize with laypeople, failing to protect their minds with mindfulness. When they see women dressed provocatively, greed and lust arise, leading them to return to lay life (SN 20.10). 

The Buddha also said that socializing is one of the factors that can cause regression in practice (AN 8.79).

Therefore, if we wish to ensure prosperity and stability both in the worldly and transcendent aspect , we should avoid excessive socializing that can confuse the mind. 

The happiness derived from social interactions often comes with suffering. Once we become attached to someone, our hearts become heavy with worry and pain. If they ignore us, we may feel sad or angry. Sometimes, gatherings can leave us with a sense of emptiness afterward.

In fact, happiness does not necessarily need to come from socializing. The joy obtained from meditation is more stable and noble, offering a continuous sense of happiness. 

Moreover, it requires nothing, just learning from Ajahn Brahm to "relax~ to the max~" and "let go~ to the max~." The joy from meditation will naturally arise.

When the mind is filled with mindfulness and stillness, handling any situation will become effortless, and we can overcome all challenges.