獨處和不交際 solitutde and no-socialize 

craving is the cause of your lonliness.

Craving for sensual pleasure, craving for people and things

----Ajahn Suchart

渴望是你孤獨的根源。
對感官享受的渴望，對人和事物的渴望。

----阿姜蘇查特

《Let people give whatever advice to you 》

Devotee: my parents advise me to acquire someone around me by maintaing certain image

Ajahn Suchart: They are just being delusional , thinking that their lifestyles are good for you. When you know better than them, you know that the best lifestyle is to be alone and peaceful, be content with yourself. 

Let them give whatever advice to you. It is naturally for people to always giving advice to people. The best way to deal with it is just to nod your head, 'ok, ok , ok' 

Don't try to argue, it will start a problem if you start to argue with them.

It is your life, you are the one who choose. They don't live your life. So you have to choose your life which is suitable for you.

When I told someone I wanted to become a monk, he became very sad, he said, ' why you want to become a monk? you are not a beggar! you can make a living!' 

they think being a monk is being a beggar . Because they don't understand the buddhist concept of renunciation. They think they need a lot of things to be happy; to be respectable, you need to have a lot of things that people have.

But are they happy? They are not happy.

They always worry, ' how long will this thing last? can we lose all things one day? like right now?'  Look at the stock market. Look at all the money lost in stock market in just a few days. 

Are they happy? people with lots of investment in stock market. I think they want to kill themselves.

So don't worry about people giving you opinions. As long as you know what the right opinion should be. The opinions given by the Buddha, just follow the opinions given by the Buddha. It is a true way to peace and happiness. Everything else is suffering. Ways towards sufferings, but not the way towards happiness or free from sufferings.

But people don't understand . They don't see the results appear in the mind, like the Buddha. How happy the Buddha is? compared to when he was a prince. When he was a prince, he felt horrified. Every time he thought of the body getting old, getting sick and gettng to die. But after his enlightenment, his mind becomes peaceful, happy all the time. And he was living like a beggar, no material possessions at all. So you can just listen to the Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha as your instructers. Other people can teach you whatever they want, just nod your head, but you don't need to follow what they say.

If their teaching contradicts the teaching of the Buddha, you should take the Buddha's teaching instead. That's why we take refuge in the Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha.

Refuge here means treating them as our teachers and guides

Always look at the Buddha as your model,what the Buddha did?  Did he need to have a lot of money and possessions?  He just want to be alone in the forest, where he find real happiness and contentment.

《讓人隨意給你建議》

信徒：我的父母建議我通過維持某種形象來獲取周圍的人。

阿姜蘇差特：這只是愚癡而已，以為他們的生活方式對你有好處。當你比他們知道得更多的時候，你知道最好的生活方式是獨自平靜，自己感到滿足。

讓他們隨意給你建議。人們總是會給予他人建議，這是自然而然的。應對的最佳方式就是點點頭，說「好，好，好」。不要試圖爭辯，因為如果你開始與他們爭辯，就會產生問題。這是你的人生，你是選擇的人。他們不會過你的生活。所以你必須選擇適合自己的生活。

當我告訴某人我想成為一名僧侶時，他變得非常傷心，說：「你為什麼想成為僧侶？你不是乞丐！你可以賺錢！」他們認為做僧侶就是乞討。因為他們不理解佛教放下的概念。他們認為需要很多東西才能快樂；要受人尊敬，就需要擁有很多別人擁有的東西。但他們快樂嗎？他們並不快樂。他們總是擔心：「這些東西能維持多久？有一天我們會失去一切嗎？比如現在？」看看股市。看看在股市中短短幾天內損失了多少錢。

他們快樂嗎？那些在股市中有大量投資的人。我覺得他們想自殺。

所以不要因為別人給你的意見而困擾。只要你知道正確的意見應該是什麼，那就是佛陀的教誨。就只是遵循佛陀的意見。這是真正通往平靜和快樂的道路。其他一切都是痛苦的。是通往痛苦的道路，而不是通往快樂或脫離痛苦的道路。

但人們不理解。他們看不到心中的結果。就像佛陀一樣，佛陀多麼快樂？與他當王子時相比。當他是王子時，他感到恐懼。每次想到身體變老、得病和死亡時，他都感到恐懼。但在他覺悟之後，他的心變得平靜，時刻快樂。他過著像乞丐一樣的生活，沒有物質財產。因此，你可以聆聽佛陀、法和僧作為你的指導。其他人可以隨意教你，但你只需點點頭，無需遵循他們的話。

如果他們的教導與佛陀的教導相矛盾，你應該選擇佛陀的教導。這就是我們皈依佛、法和僧的原因。皈依在這裡意味著將他們視為我們的老師和指導者。時刻以佛陀為榜樣，佛陀做了什麼？他需要很多錢和財產嗎？他只是想在森林中獨處，找到真正的快樂和滿足。

樹木也懂得安於獨處， 和其他樹木保持距離

佛陀說， 有兩種遠離： 那是身遠離、心遠離(AN46.3)

身遠離， 即是獨處。 我們都要留點時間給自己。

假如我們常常和人一起， 便要被迫交際、交談， 心便會散亂。 如果接近的人是沒有戒、定、慧， 沒有美德的話， 心不夠堅定， 沒有正念的話， 我們也會被感染。

所以佛陀對出家人或有心修行的人很強調獨居與不交際 (AN5.90)

心遠離， 就是禪定的培育、智慧的培育。 當心進入深度禪定的時候， 會切斷一切感官， 剩下心，達致遠離。 儘管禪定不太深， 也已經足以讓心不跟隨外在對象動盪起伏。

智慧的培育有助我們看清無常、苦、無我的真相， 不執著一切事物， 心和一切保持距離。

這是真正的遠離、舒服

《不交際》

社會大環境會笑人‘anti-social' , 即不愛交際

但其實一定程度的antisocial對自我提升來說，是頗有用的哦～

佛陀曾說，喜好聚會是衰敗的原因之一（小部。衰敗經）

為什麼？我們本身有自己的工作與義務。假如都把時間用在消遣的交際上，那便會少了時間用在工作、 家庭、 提升自我身上。該做的不做，或者少了時間做；自然導向衰敗墮落。

世間大部分人都是愚蠢、 沒有道德的（SN56）。所以大部分聚會都是傾向於世俗的話題，導向增加慾望，惡意，傷害的話題。年輕人可能會談追女孩子、 淫穢之事、 追明星、 電視劇集、 音樂等等增加煩惱的話題。

老一點的就可能會談賺錢、 女人、 名利、 是非、 兒孫。

正念不夠強，聚會完就會越來越多煩惱，越來越多痛苦

就如Luang ta maha bua 所說：【如果與不道德的人、欺騙者、迷失的人交往，而我們的正念不足，不久後我們會被潛移默化，而不自知地受到影響。】

而且，當我們的修行質量不夠，常常說話，心就會散亂。心一散亂，什麼貪嗔癡都出來了。常常聚會，心便會一直亂亂亂，缺乏集中的心。心一沒有定力；記憶力，智力，判斷力也會衰退（AN5.193 ），影響了我們的生活，人際關係和工作。也會影響我們修行。

摩訶拘絺羅尊者曾說，有些人，當依止佛陀或某位導師,他很柔和、謙遜、寂靜,但一遠離他們,和其他人交際、親密、不控制感官地說無用的話時,貪會使心墮落,之後還俗（AN6.60)

有些出家人，就是因為常常去俗家那裡交際；沒有以正念守護好自己的心。一旦見到衣著暴露的女人，貪心和性慾就生起，使他還俗。（SN20.10 ）

佛陀也說，交際是使到修行退失的其中一個因素（AN8.79）

因此假如想使世間和出世間都繁榮穩定，就要避免過度交際，讓心混亂

透過社交而獲得的快樂是伴隨痛苦的。一旦執著某人，心就會沉重擔憂，充滿痛苦。假如他們不理我們，我們也會難過生氣。聚會完後有時也會充滿空虛感。

其實快樂不一定需要從社交中得到。禪修所得到的快樂比此更加穩定與高尚，是連綿不斷的幸福感。而且不需要什麼，只需要學Ajahn Brahm 那樣 ’放鬆～到極點～‘ ’放下～到極點～‘ 禪定的快樂就會自然生起。

當內心充滿正念與定力，無論處理什麼都會得心應手，戰無不勝。

"Non-Socializing"

The society may label and laugh at people who don't enjoying social interactions as "anti-social" . However, a certain degree of being anti-social can actually be quite beneficial for self-improvement!

The Buddha once said that a fondness for gatherings is one of the causes of decline (Minor Collection, Decline Sutra).

Why is that? We all have our own work and obligations. If we spend all our time on socializing for leisure, we will naturally have less time for work, family, and personal development. Neglecting what needs to be done or having less time to do it will naturally lead to decline.

Most people in the world are foolish and lack morality (SN 56). Thus, most gatherings tend to center around secular topics which include desires, malice, and harmful discussions. 

Young people may talk about dating, indecent matters, celebrities, TV shows, music, and other defilements-driven topics. 

Older individuals might discuss making money, women, fame, gossip, and their descendants. 

With insufficient mindfulness, gatherings can result in increasing defilements and suffering.

As Luang Ta Maha Bua said: "If we associate with immoral people, deceivers, or those who are lost, and our mindfulness is weak, we will soon be subtly influenced and affected without realizing it."

Moreover, when the quality of our practice is insufficient, frequent talking can scatter the mind. Once the mind becomes scattered, all forms of greed, anger, and ignorance can arise. 

Frequent socializing keeps the mind in a state of chaos, lacking stillness. 

Without mental stillness; memory, intelligence, and judgment will decline (AN 5.193), affecting our lives, relationships, and work, as well as our practice.

Venerable Maha kosila once said that some people, when relying on the Buddha or a teacher, may be gentle, humble, and peaceful. However, once they distance themselves from them and socialize with others, engaging in uncontrolled meaningless talk, greed will lead their minds to decline, causing them to return to lay life (AN 6.60). 

Some monastics lose their way because they frequently socialize with laypeople, failing to protect their minds with mindfulness. When they see women dressed provocatively, greed and lust arise, leading them to return to lay life (SN 20.10). 

The Buddha also said that socializing is one of the factors that can cause regression in practice (AN 8.79).

Therefore, if we wish to ensure prosperity and stability both in the worldly and transcendent aspect , we should avoid excessive socializing that can confuse the mind. 

The happiness derived from social interactions often comes with suffering. Once we become attached to someone, our hearts become heavy with worry and pain. If they ignore us, we may feel sad or angry. Sometimes, gatherings can leave us with a sense of emptiness afterward.

In fact, happiness does not necessarily need to come from socializing. The joy obtained from meditation is more stable and noble, offering a continuous sense of happiness. 

Moreover, it requires nothing, just learning from Ajahn Brahm to "relax~ to the max~" and "let go~ to the max~." The joy from meditation will naturally arise.

When the mind is filled with mindfulness and stillness, handling any situation will become effortless, and we can overcome all challenges.