《Arahants mentality》
“…..An Arahant is one who has ended all cravings,
but still possesses the desire (to benefit others).
An Arahant has nothing to do for themselves,
as they are fulfilled and content.
Thus, they think only of what they can do for others
and to bring happiness to the world.
As the Buddha once said,
the principle of an Arahant is:
" Let Many people be benefited; let the world be shown compassion."
This means acting for the welfare and happiness of the people,
to extend kindness to all beings.
This is where the Buddha serves as a leader;
not only guiding people in self-development but also leading the noble ones
in working for the welfare of the masses.
The Buddha never stopped, for He is a true free person,
a liberated being, even internally without cravings
to hold Him back. On the contrary, He is full of desire
to do good, allowing Him to benefit others fully…."
Somdet Phra Buddhaghosacariya
cred. to Ajahn Golf
《阿羅漢的心態》
“…..阿羅漢是已經斷除一切貪欲的人，
但仍然擁有欲望（為他人做出貢獻）。
阿羅漢不需要為自己做任何事情，
因為他們已經圓滿和滿足。
因此，他們只思考如何為他人做事
並使全世界幸福。
正如佛陀曾經所說，
阿羅漢的原則是：
「讓眾人受益，為世界顯現慈悲。」
這意味著為人民的福利和幸福而行動，
向所有眾生施以仁慈。
這就是佛陀作為領導者的地方；
不僅引導人們在自我發展上，還引導聖者
為大眾的福祉而努力。
佛陀從未停止，因為祂是真正的自由人，
是一個解脫的存在，內心甚至沒有貪欲來束縛祂。
相反，祂充滿了行善的欲望，使祂能夠充分地利益他人…。”
Somdet Phra Buddhaghosacariya
cred. to Ajahn Golf
《如何培養更多的慈悲與寬恕》
信徒：您能給我們一些如何在內心培養更多慈悲與寬恕的建議嗎？
阿姜蘇差特：你必須讓自己感到快樂。一旦你快樂，你就不需要任何人的東西。這樣你就能對每個人友善並充滿慈悲。但如果你內心不快樂，你就會向他人尋求快樂。如果得不到快樂，反而遭遇他人的瘋狂，就會生氣。因此，試著禪修，讓你的心靜下來，平靜，保持中捨的心態。你擁有的中捨越多，滿足感就越強。一旦你有了滿足感，就不需要或期望任何人的東西。
所以一切都回到我們自己身上，我們必須通過佛法來提升自己，讓自己變得平靜、快樂。一旦你變得平靜、快樂，你就不需要任何人的東西，也不會期望任何人的東西，無論別人對你怎樣，你都能接受他們。你可以把他們看作不同類型的食物。人就像水果，有的是芒果，有的是香蕉，有的是蘋果；你無法改變他們。你所要做的就是接受他們。他們就是他們。你所要做的就是與他們相處。
我總是說，秘訣在於正念。如果你有正念，你可以使自己的心靜下來，保持中捨的心態。然後，如果你有中捨的心態，你將會對他人的成功充滿慈愛、慈悲和喜悅。
所以，試著提升自己，不要試圖改變他人。這幾乎是不可能的。改變自己。一旦你改變了自己，你就能接受任何事情。
<<How to generate more compassion and forgiveness>>
Devotee: could you give some advice of how to generate more compassion and forgiveness within ourselves?
Ajahn Suchart: You have to happy in yourself. Once you are happy, you don't need anything from anybody. You can then be nice and can be compassionate to everybody. But if you are unhappy within yourself, then you will seek happiness from any people. If you don't get happiness , you get madness from other people, then you get angry. So try to develop a lot of meditation, to get your mind to become calm, peaceful and have equanimity. The more equanimity you have, the more contentment you have. When you have contentment, you don't need or expect anything from anybody.
So it always come back to ourselves, we have to develop ourselves with Dhamma, teaching of the Buddha, to become calm, peaceful and happy. Once you become calm, peaceful and happy, you don't need anything from anybody, you don't expect anything from anybody, you can take anything from anybody. They can bully you or be nice to you , whatever. You look at them like looking at different types of food. People are like fruits, some are mangoes, some are bananas, some are apples; you can't change them. All you have to do is to accept them. They are what they are. All you have to do is to deal with them
I always say, the secret is mindfulness. If you have mindfulness, you can make your mind calm and have equanimity. Then if you have equanimity, you will have loving kindness and compassion and sympathetic joy towards other people’s success
So try to develop yourself, don’t try to change other people. It is almost impossible. Change yourself. Once you change yourself, you can take anything
中文有一句四字詞叫‘兒女私情’
特指男女之間纏綿的戀情
這個詞其實形容得很好，男女之間的愛情幾乎都是私情
重點在這個‘私’字
不對嗎？
有些人說愛情是自私的
為什麼這樣說？
比方說，我們要追求這位女士或男士，就是想把他/她納為 ‘我的’ ，對嗎？
‘我的’ ‘我的’--這就是一般人所說的自私心
這種自私心顯現為許多負面情緒
例如當別人和自己的伴侶聊天去玩，自己就會憤怒，這是妒忌
有時不希望伴侶和人接觸，只准和自己一起，這是吝嗇
有時想掌控伴侶的一切，這是控制欲，或者說是貪戀權力
其實不只是愛情，人與人之間的關係，幾乎都是私情
世間大部份友誼也一樣 。
誒～見這個人我喜歡，就也想把他納為 ‘我的’ ，對嗎？
幾乎人人都是這樣
父母與子女之間也是這樣，把對方互相視為‘我的’ 、 ’我的‘
這和愛情有什麼大分別？😂 除了愛情多了性慾在裡面外
朋友之間雖不叫‘兒女私情’， 但其實許多時也是‘男男私情’，‘女女私情’😂
這些私情是有副作用的。因為滲雜了煩惱在裡面。一旦這段關係產生變異，或失去這段關係；將會很難過，很傷心。和失戀差不多
一旦有很強烈的我執，只會對雙方構成壓力和傷害
有沒有’私情‘的感情嗎？
當然有。這是聖者的感情
例如佛陀和阿羅漢們，不會把任何關係看作是’我的‘
他們沒有任何私心，
單純希望任何靠近他們，甚至是整個世界的眾生都快樂，沒有痛苦。
如果他們有什麼成就，都會為他們而開心
就算他們不理睬自己，甚至是傷害自己，也不會難過
這是純潔的感情，無私的感情
The term "emotional value" has become quite popular recently. It refers to the ability to make others feel supported, accompanied, and embraced, leading to feelings of fulfillment, calmness, or happiness. If we can achieve this, we possess emotional value.
In short, having emotional value means we are useful. 😂😂
If we cannot bring happiness to others, then we are of no use. 😂
If we can, then we are useful. 😂
Even family and friends—if we are not useful, then it's bye bye. 👋👋
That's just how reality is.
So how can we provide emotional value to others? It's simple: through The Four Embracing Virtues and the Four Immeasurable Minds.
The Four Ways of Generosity are:
1.Giving and sharing.
2.Saying kind and heartwarming words.
3.Helping and giving advice when they need assistance.
4. treat them equally, sharing joys and sorrows together .
The Four Immeasurable Minds are:
1.Loving-kindness - wishing for their happiness.
2.Compassion - wishing for their liberation from suffering.
3.Empathetic joy - being happy for their joy.
4.Equanimity - remaining indifferent to their harm and neglect, without emotional reactions.
If we embody The Four Embracing Virtues and the Four Immeasurable Minds, we are truly useful. If we do not, then we are of no use at all. 😂😂
‘情緒價值’這一個詞在近期很火熱
意思就是可以讓對方感覺到被支持、被陪伴、被承接，進而產生滿足、平靜或幸福感--能如此做到我們就具有情緒價值
簡而言之，有沒有情緒價值就是我們有沒有用😂😂
如果我們不能為別人帶來快樂，那我們就沒有用😂
如果能，就有用😂
就算是家人、親戚朋友，假如沒有用就 bye bye 就這樣啦👋 👋 ～
人就是這麼現實
怎樣可以帶到情緒價值給別人？很簡單，四攝法和四無量心
四攝法是：
1. 布施饋贈
2.說好聽溫暖人心的話
3.在對方需要幫忙時幫忙和給意見
4.和他們平等共處，同甘共苦
四無量心就是
1.慈-希望他們快樂
2.悲-希望他們離苦
3.喜-為他們開心
4.捨-對他們的傷害和冷待平淡處之，不起情緒
如果我們有四攝法和四無量心，我們就很有用
如果我們沒有，就一點用都沒有😂😂
有一點可以思考的是：
如果朋友之間，親戚之間，家人之間沒有四無量心；這還算是真正的朋友、 親戚和家人嗎？
比如說：
我們完全不希望他們快樂，反倒希望他們痛苦
他們有難時我們不希望他們脫困，反而希望他們繼續苦下去
他們成功時我們不為他們開心，反而妒忌他們、厭惡他們的成就
他們一傷害我們時我們立即十倍奉還，立即斷絕關係
我們是否還算他們真正的朋友、 親戚和家人？
One thing to think about is:
If there is no Four Immeasurable Minds among friends, relatives, and family, can we still be considered others true friends, relatives, and family?
For example:
If we completely do not wish for their happiness and instead hope for their suffering,
If we do not want them to overcome difficulties when they are in trouble, but rather wish for them to continue suffering,
If we are not happy for their successes, but instead feel jealous and resentful of their achievements,
If they harm us and we immediately retaliate tenfold and cut off the relationship,
Can we still be considered their true friends, relatives, and family?
A person filled with loving kindness is a person with immense merits.
Because the Buddha said that merit is synonymous with happiness (AN 7.62).
A person must have a heart that is sufficiently content and happy in order to spontaneously feel compassion for others.
They wish for the happiness of others,
hope for their liberation from suffering,
feel joy for others' happiness,
and do not react emotionally to others' harm and indifference.
充滿慈悲的人是有福報的人
因為佛陀說，功德是快樂的同義詞（AN7.62)
一個人要內心足夠滿足與快樂；才會對他人有自動自發的慈悲
希望對方快樂，
希望對方離苦
為對方感到高興
對別人的傷害和冷漠不起情緒
佛陀曾說，假如一位比丘在彈指間修習慈心/悲心/喜心/捨心；
那他就被認為是不捨棄禪那、跟隨佛陀的教導而行,不白吃別人施食的比丘。更不用說那些多修的人(AN1.386-389)
一位出家人只要有慈悲之心，他們就真的是出家人了
例如Ajahn Golf 阿贊高爾夫 อาจารย์กอล์ฟ 那樣，總是給人一種友好朋友的感覺。有一次阿贊稀帶著一大班外國人去他的寺院裡入住，阿贊熱情地帶大家遊歷參觀他的寺院，並大概說，如果大家要來他的寺院禪修，只需要給阿贊打個訊息，阿贊就會為大家安排迎接😂
如果Ajahn Golf 知道別人有難，他都會去幫忙。例如 Por Khao Wanchart Yimme 珀考万察/白父万察 那時因為癌症而身體劇痛，阿贊也有去幫忙。知道誰人有難，他都會可憐對方。有時為了幫助別人，他連休息的時間也不夠
Por Khao Wanchart Yimme 珀考万察/白父万察 也是的；雖然是住在寺院持守十戒，沒有正式出家成為比丘；就算他身體無時無刻都在劇痛；但每當誰要他幫忙，誰問他問題；他都會慈悲地幫助解答。
Luangta Siri Indasiri - 龍達斯列 - Tham Pha Daeng Pha Nimit Temple 也很慈悲；例如有時他未來幾個月的每一天，幾乎都被無數的應邀所排滿了，都沒有空隙停下來休息。
如果誰有親近Luang Pu Boonsong Thitasaro Dhamma - 文颂大长老 ，也知道長老是很慈悲的。他很照顧每一位信徒，就算自己不是最舒服，也希望對方能夠得到功德。他到訪香港時知道原來李嘉誠先生是香港首富，便拿起他的照片，由衷地為他開心。
Luang Pu Sri 系的 Luang Por Mana 也是很慈悲的。如果有信徒有難，他都會很悲憫對方，流露出悲憫的眼神，幫助對方。
Ajah Brahm 一樣充滿慈悲。
他都不介意辛苦，很願意分享，他說：‘我來就是為了幫忙’
他也說,有些人常投訴--’他利用我！ 他佔我便宜！ ‘
但他就是愛被人利用，他就是愛被人佔便宜
如果他不被人利用，不被人佔便宜，又怎會來這裡（和世界各地開示佛法）？😂
這是佛法的態度。
隆波間夏曾讚美和鼓勵他的兩個弟子：’稀師父和耀師父已經是最好的比丘了。 他們兩個都在開始修行去除自我‘
稀師父 Sabai Ha 是很願意幫助大眾的，活躍於幫助其他大師父翻譯和弘揚佛法。如果看到有信徒落難，他都會很悲憫對方，想幫助對方。有誰傷害他都很容易就寬恕別人。
耀師父也是，如果有信徒落難，他都會流露悲憫的眼神，希望對方離苦。
所以四無量心--慈悲喜捨--就是出家人的標誌
如果誰充滿慈悲，就算他們是在家人，也會像出家人那麼高尚
The Buddha once said that if a monk practices loving-kindness, compassion, empathetic joy, and equanimity in a snap of the fingers;
then he is considered one who does not abandon Jhanas and follows the teachings of the Buddha, being a monk who is really deserved to consume other's food offering. Not to mention those who practice even more (AN 1.386-389).
A monk with a compassionate heart is truly a monk.
For example, Ajahn Golf 阿贊高爾夫 อาจารย์กอล์ฟ always gives us a friendly vibe. Once, Ajahn Hei brought a large group of foreigners to stay at his monastery, Ajahn Golf warmly guiding everyone on a tour and mentioning that if anyone wanted to meditate there, they just needed to message him, and he would arrange a welcome and pick them up. 😂
If Ajahn Golf knows someone is in trouble, he will help. For example, Por Khao Wanchart Yimme 珀考万察/白父万察 was suffering from cancer, and Ajahn went to help him. He shows compassion for anyone in difficulty. Sometimes, in helping others, he even lacks time to rest.
Por Khao Wanchart Yimme 珀考万察/白父万察 also holds the ten precepts and lives at the monastery without formally becoming a monk. Even though he is constantly in pain, whenever someone asks for help or has questions, he compassionately assisted and was willing to answer.
Luangta Siri Indasiri - 龍達斯列 - Tham Pha Daeng Pha Nimit Temple is also very compassionate; sometimes, his schedule is completely filled with countless invitations for months, leaving no time to rest.
Anyone close to Luang Pu Boonsong Thitasaro Dhamma - 文颂大长老 knows he is very compassionate. He cares for every devotee, even if he himself is not comfortable, he hopes others can gain merit. When he visited Hong Kong and learned that Mr. Li Ka-shing is the richest man in Hong Kong, he picked up his photo and genuinely felt happy for him.
From Luang Pu Sri’s lineage, Luang Por Mana is also very compassionate. If devotees are in trouble, he shows deep compassion and helps them.
Ajahn Brahm is similarly full of compassion. He doesn’t mind hard work and is very willing to share. He says, “I come here to help.”
He also mentions that some people often complain, “He’s using me! He’s taking advantage of me!”
But he loves being utilized and loves being taken advantage of.
He said, if he were not used or taken advantage of, how could he come here (to share the Dhamma around the world)? 😂 This is the attitude of the Buddhist Dhamma.
Luang Por Ganha once praised and encouraged his two disciples: “Ajahn Hei and Ajahn Yiu have already become the best monks. Both of them are beginning to practice eliminating selfishness.”
Ajahn hei , Sabai Ha, is very willing to help others and is active in assisting other masters with translation and spreading the Dhamma. If he sees a devotee in difficulty, he shows deep compassion and wants to help. He easily forgives anyone who hurts him.
Ajahn Yiu is the same; if a devotee is in trouble, he shows compassionate eyes, hoping for their relief from suffering.
Thus, the Four Immeasurable minds—loving-kindness, compassion, empathetic joy, and equanimity—are the hallmarks of a monk. If someone is filled with compassion, even if they are a layperson, they can be as noble as a monk.