Devotee: how to be compassionate to people, like people who talk too much or leave messes everywhere, and how to appreciate the goodness in them.
Ajahn Brahm:This is a story of someone who was snoring in the meditation hall. There are always people who snore in the meditation hall, and don't think it's not you because we can't hear our own snoring, but other people can.
This was in our city center in Narooma one day. This girl, when I was giving a talk, she lay down, fell fast asleep, and started snoring really loudly. People woke her up, and when they did, I told the people not to wake her up off because I knew that girl. She had talked to me beforehand; she was going through some very severe domestic abuse from her husband—not just shouting but hitting her. She was so terrified of being in the house. Please don't think, "Oh, you go to the police." Sometimes when you're in that situation, you can't think straight; you're so confused. It's easy for us to say, "Well, just get out of the house, get some friends, call the police—it's against the law." But if you're right in the middle of that situation as a wife, you just don't know what to do.
So she came to our temple, and when she came, she felt safe. It was a kind place, and for the first time in many weeks, she felt so safe that she decided to lie down. She fell fast asleep because she hadn't slept for days on end. When people woke her and said, "What did you do that for? '' That poor girl needed sleep so much, and you just brought it for her. So when you realize why a person does that—why they went to sleep in the middle of the hall and started snoring—when you realize where it comes from, you think, "Oh, please, go to sleep again. I'll get you a pillow. Do you want a blanket? I'll tuck you in," even while I'm giving the talk. Because you understand where it's coming from, you have compassion.
So if someone bangs a door, you don't know why they do it. Maybe there's a reason you don't understand, just like that woman who was under severe domestic abuse. She had a safe place, and she fell asleep. So next time, please let that happen. You don't know why people do things; they have their reasons. So please let them do it. If they make a noise the best they can possibly do, you don't know where they come from. The very fact that they can come on this retreat—they've had the courage to actually come and do some meditation—is wonderful. Please don't scare them off. That's the best they can do, and what they're doing may not be as good as you can do, but it's the best they can do. So, wonderful. Well done.
Q&A by Ajahn Brahm at Jhana Grove Meditation Retreat Centre on 3 July 2014
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCv6bzGGgEM&list=PL-E16hq8cBIob1V6i3lWl-PLQm8VVezzK&index=11
信徒：如何對人們懷有慈悲心，像是那些話太多或到處留下混亂的人，並且如何欣賞他們內在的良善。
布拉姆尊者：這是一個關於有人在禪堂打鼾的故事。禪堂裡總有人打鼾，別以為不是你，因為我們聽不見自己的鼾聲，但別人聽得見。
有一天，在我們納魯馬的市中心，我正在開示時，這個女孩躺下來，很快睡著了，並開始大聲打鼾。人們叫醒了她，當他們這麼做時，我告訴大家把她叫醒，因為我認識這個女孩。她之前和我談過；她正遭受丈夫嚴重的家庭暴力——不僅是吼叫，還有毆打。她非常害怕待在家裡。請別想：「哦，你去報警啊。」有時候當你處在那種情境中，你無法清晰思考；你太困惑了。我們很容易說：「嗯，離開房子就好，找些朋友，打電話報警——這是違法的。」但如果你作為妻子正深陷其中，你根本不知道該怎麼辦。
所以她來到我們的寺院，當她來的時候，她感到安全。這是個友善的地方，多少個星期以來第一次，她感到如此安全，以至於決定躺下。她很快就睡著了，因為她已經連續好幾天沒睡了。當人們叫醒她時，我說：「你們為什麼要這樣做？那可憐的女孩太需要睡眠了，你們卻打斷了她。」所以，當你明白一個人為什麼那樣做——為什麼他們在禪堂中間睡著並開始打鼾——當你明白背後的原因時，你會想：「哦，請再睡一會兒吧。我給你拿個枕頭。需要毯子嗎？我幫你蓋好，」即使我正在開示。因為你理解背後的緣由，你便有了悲心。
所以，如果有人砰地關門，你不知道他們為什麼這樣做。也許有你不理解的原因，就像那個遭受嚴重家庭暴力的女子一樣。她找到了一個安全的地方，然後睡著了。所以下次，請讓這種情況發生吧。你不知道人們為什麼做某些事；他們有自己的理由。所以請允許他們去做。如果他們發出了力所能及範圍內最大的噪音，你並不知道他們從何而來。他們能來參加這個禪修——他們有勇氣真正來這裡並進行一些禪修——這本身就很棒了。請別嚇跑他們。這是他們目前能做到的最好程度，他們所做的可能不如你做得好，但這已經是他們盡力而為的結果了。所以，很棒。做得很好。
問答環節，布拉姆尊者於靜謐林禪修中心，2014年7月3日
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCv6bzGGgEM&list=PL-E16hq8cBIob1V6i3lWl-PLQm8VVezzK&index=11
Devotee: Dear Ajahn Brahm, It occurred to me that part of care, kindness, and letting go towards another person is to recollect there is no fixity about them—to not hold the mental image you have of them as a fixed, unchanging identity.
Ajahn Brahm: Excellent because sometimes people have their good days and their off days, sometimes it is real then.
Devotee: and recognizing this seems to weaken any wanting and tendency to control. Is this a way to respect another person's being in accordance with the conditions and not controlling them?
Ajahn Brahm: Yes, exactly. Give people a break— I don't mean by "giving them a break" to break their neck; that’s not giving them a break. In other words, just see that maybe you misunderstood what they said, or maybe they were having an off day, or maybe they are simply going through their own difficult times at this moment.
So that means people do change. Sometimes those people whom you think are very nasty can do wonderful, amazing things. Give them the opportunity to change. If they do change, respect it
信眾：尊敬的阿姜布拉姆，我體悟到對他人的關懷、慈悲與放下，部分在於憶念他們並非固定不變——不應將自己心中對他人的形象，執為恆常不變的個體。
阿姜布拉姆：說得真好。因為人有時狀態佳，有時狀態差，這都是真實存在的。
信眾：而意識到這點，似乎就能減弱任何想要控制的慾望與傾向。這是否正是尊重他人隨順因緣的本然狀態，而非掌控他們的方式呢？
阿姜布拉姆：正是如此。要給人空間 (a break)——當然不是指「折斷他們的脖子」(break their neck) 那種空間，那根本不是空間。我的意思是，要明白或許你誤解了他們的話，或許他們正逢低潮期，又或許他們當下正在經歷某些艱難時刻。
這意味著人確實會改變。有些你認為品行惡劣的人，也可能做出美好驚人之舉。請給予他們改變的機會。若他們真的改變了，請尊重這樣的轉變。
2018 Ajahn Brahm’s Jhana Grove Retreat with BIF & EF 2018-07-15 3.QA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVYKPnkoXuc&list=PL-E16hq8cBIonUhAIo1J_vjR7vD0Avtva&index=6
其實修習奢摩他（止禪）有非常多的方法。例如，運用當下呈現的狀態作為所緣境也是一種方式：假設我們非常憎恨一個人，就可以練習重新審視這個人，從另一個角度去理解他——為什麼他會是這樣？試著思考，如果我們身處與他相同的環境中，我們會怎麼做？這時我們會發現，自己很可能也會做出同樣的行為。有時我們並不比他人高尚多少，因為在環境的逼迫下，我們也可能做出同樣的事，本質上並無區別。
再比如，對於某些我們認為素質極差的人，例如在不信任自己的上司手下工作時，瞋恨心會特別強烈。我們原本習慣以自我為中心去評判他人，但若嘗試換位思考：他的生命充滿艱難，生活處境困頓，遭遇過許多險惡經歷——比如他出生於世界大戰期間，內心充斥著各種恐懼，炸彈不斷在周圍爆炸，使他始終缺乏安全感，心中滿是惶恐與不安。當我們真正以同理心理解他時，瞋恨便會消散；當我們真心明白並體諒他的處境，憤怒就會轉為同情，悲憫之心自然生起。
起初我們懷有瞋心，不是嗎？一旦生起同理心，慈心就會隨之顯現。當心處於慈愛狀態時，我們就能進入禪定，甚至是相當高深的禪定境界，可能達到無色界定。
例如我們感覺身體，感覺到身體的存在，感覺到身體的運動變化，如果禪定生起，可以抵達色界定。但若修習慈悲觀，不是念各種慈悲的詞彙、內容，那樣依然不太有慈悲。什麼時候如果能夠有同情心，慈心就會很快生起，而且會持續很久。而不是生氣了之後，就“慈悲、慈悲、慈悲”，不停地念誦，中間沒有想到這個人了，生氣就消失了；但是一看到他的臉，很快又生氣了。如果我們產生了同情心、同理心，就不會再生氣了，就理解他了；如果理解他了，就再也不生氣了。一旦悲心生起了，我們跟悲心合在一起，有時候會入定，甚至會入到無色界定，什麼空無邊處、識無邊處、無所有處，甚至可以來到無所有處定——心空，可以全部都放下。這個我們必須要懂裡面的訣竅，要懂得觀察自己。
In fact, there are numerous methods for practicing shamatha (calm meditation). For example, one can use presently arising states as objects of meditation: If we intensely dislike someone, we can train ourselves to re-examine this person from a different perspective—why is he like this? Let’s consider: if we were in the same environment as him, what would we do? We would then realize that we would likely act the same way. Sometimes we are not much better than others, because under compelled circumstances, we might do exactly what they did—there is essentially no difference.
Or, for instance, when we think someone is particularly bad, such as working under a boss who distrusts us, our anger becomes intense. We originally judge others from a self-centered viewpoint, but if we try to see things from their perspective: his life is full of difficulties, his living conditions are harsh, and he has encountered many adverse circumstances—for example, if he was born during a world war, his heart filled with various fears, bombs constantly exploding around him, he would feel insecure, his mind consumed by fear and terror. Once we understand him with empathy, our anger will dissipate; once we truly comprehend and empathize with him, we no longer feel anger toward him but instead develop compassion.
Initially, we have anger, right? Once empathy arises, loving-kindness emerges. When our mind abides in a state of loving-kindness, we can attain stillness, even reaching very high states of samadhi, potentially up to the formless realms.
For example, still being able to feel the body’s presence and sensing its movements and changes, when stillness arises, it can be the form realm Jhana . However, if we practice compassion meditation, the key is not merely reciting words like "compassion, compassion" or various compassion mantras—that alone seldom generates genuine compassion. Only when empathetic understanding naturally arises can loving-kindness quickly emerge and endure. It’s not about mechanically chanting "compassion" after getting angry, temporarily forgetting the person until the anger subsides—because upon seeing them again, anger may instantly return. But if through empathy we truly understand them, aversion dissolves completely. When compassion arises and we merge with it, we may sometimes enter deep stillness, even reaching the formless realms—such as the base of infinite space, the base of infinite consciousness, the base of nothingness—ultimately arriving at a state where the mind is empty and all attachments are relinquished. The essential key lies in understanding how to observe our own mind and grasp the crucial points of mental training.
----Luang Por Pramote
2024.01.28
我們所認為的壞人，其實很可憐的
為什麼？ 因為他們之中，有些想變好，但他們根本不能做到，他們無法控制自己
反過來，我們誰是想證悟涅槃的？ 是不是我們想就能立刻證悟涅槃？
這個世界根本不是這樣運作的，不是我們想就可以做到的，而是根據原因和條件組合而成的
所謂的壞人，沒有因緣親近善友，不認識方法去改善自己，不知道什麼是善、什麼是惡；才會這樣
當貪嗔癡佔據心時，肯定是不舒服、不快樂的；但他們無法意識到，才會既傷害自己、又傷害別人而已
因此我們所認為的壞人，其實很可憐的
**The People We Consider "Bad" Are Actually Pitiable**
Why? Because among them, some want to become better, but they simply cannot. They are unable to control themselves.
Think about it: which of us wants to attain nibanna? But can we achieve it the moment we want to?
That's not how the world works! We cannot accomplish things just by wanting to; it depends on the coming together of causes and conditions!
So-called "bad people" lack the conditions to be close to good friends. They are not acquainted with methods to improve themselves and do not clearly understand what is wholesome and what is unwholesome. This is why they are the way they are.
When greed, aversion, and delusion occupy the mind, it is undoubtedly uncomfortable and unhappy. But because they cannot perceive this, they end up harming both themselves and others.
Therefore, the people we consider "bad" are actually deeply pitiable.
mental health is the most important thing on our life agenda
a long life filled with mental suffering is meaningless
but a short life filled with happiness is worth living
What is mental health? haha; no greed, no aversion and no delusion is good mental health
greed, aversion and delusion is suffering
Oh ~ lets observe , whenever these mental defilements arise in our mind, it is uncomfortable.
the defilements in the family of aversion is very obvious: anger, ill-will, jealousy, stinginess, depression, sadness, fear... they arise accompanied with suffering!
So keeping them in our mind is simply unclever!
Especially if we treat others with ill will, what are we expecting them to react and do to us? 😂 oh~ so it is double foolishness, we are bringing trouble to ourselves!
anger can be counteracted with loving-kindness
ill will and thoughts of cruelty can be counteracted with compassion.
actually all beings are pitiable.
They all have mental suffering.
If they don't have mental suffering, they must have physical suffering.
Even if they don't have neither, they will lose everything they cherish at death
We could keep reciting 'oh , all beings are pitiable! '; and once we get this feeling of compassion , we radiate it to the whole universe
compassion is far from sadness.
compassion means cool and joyous , while sadness means burning and suffering
compassion is unconditional love, while sadness stems from craving--Second noble truth: craving is the cause of suffering
If we are doing it with a letting go and relaxing attitude while remaining focused; the mind will become more and more still and concentrated; until immense nuclear explosion-like bliss suffuse our whole body and mind.
This is what we called jhāna--a bliss that we have never expereienced in our life!
It is the opposite of depression!
Depression is a heap of negative energy or simply a lack of all energy; jhāna means immense positive energy
Depression is dim and dark; jhāna is as bright as the sun
Depression is pessimistic; jhāna is optimistic
Depression views everything as unintersting ; jhāna views everything as interesting and funny
Depression is irritability and restlessness ; jhāna is good-tempered , still and concentrated.
Depression is fear ; jhāna is as courageous as lion
Jhāna is actually achievable by anyone, very easy to attain if we do it correctly. When jhāna occurs, all mental defilements are supressed temporarily ; the mind is at ease and comfortable.
And then we will know what is real happiness and good mental health....
精神健康是我們人生議程中最重要的事
充滿精神痛苦的長壽毫無意義
但充滿幸福的短暫生命卻值得一活
什麼是精神健康？哈哈；無貪、無瞋、無癡便是良好的心理健康
貪瞋痴即是痛苦
哦～讓我們觀察，每當這些煩惱在心中生起時，總是令人不舒適。
瞋家族的煩惱非常明顯：憤怒、惡意、嫉妒、吝嗇、抑鬱、悲傷、恐懼...它們是伴隨痛苦而生的！
把這些煩惱存於心中實在不智！
尤其當我們以惡意對待他人時，又能期待對方如何回應我們呢？😂 哦～這可謂雙重愚蠢，我們根本在自找麻煩！
憤怒能以慈愛對治
惡意與傷害的念頭能以悲心對治
其實所有生靈皆可憐。
他們都有精神上的痛苦。
若沒有精神痛苦，也必有肉體上的痛苦。
即便兩者皆無，死亡時他們也會失去一切珍愛之物
我們可以持續默念「啊！所有眾生真是可憐啊！」；一旦生起悲憫的感覺，便將這份悲心散播至整個宇宙
悲心與悲傷截然不同。
悲心意味著清涼和喜樂，而悲傷意味著灼熱和痛苦
悲心是無條件的愛，悲傷則源於渴愛——第二聖諦：渴愛是痛苦的原因
若以放下與放鬆的態度保持專注，心會越來越寧靜安定；直至核爆般的極樂充滿身心。
這就是所謂的「禪那」——一種此生從未體驗過的至福！
它與抑鬱完全相反！
抑鬱是負能量的堆積或純粹的能量枯竭；禪那意味著磅礴的正能量
抑鬱灰暗陰沉；禪那明亮如太陽
抑鬱悲觀；禪那積極樂觀
抑鬱視萬物無趣；禪那視萬物有趣
抑鬱易怒、散亂；禪那好脾氣、集中
抑鬱充滿恐懼；禪那勇猛如獅
禪那其實人人都可以達到的！只要方法正確便極易證得。當禪那發生時，所有煩惱會暫時止息，心舒服自在。
屆時我們便會明白什麼是真正的幸福與精神健康⋯⋯
所有眾生已經夠苦了
每個人都有不為人知的苦惱
如果我們還要懷有惡意，還要傷害他們
這是冷血的行徑
All beings already suffer enough.
All of them have afflictions untold
If we still harbor malice and harm them,
this is nothing but cruelty.
其實所謂的大師父，是很辛苦的
所謂能力越大，責任越大
當心永久解脫於一切痛苦，不論是人類還是天神，都蜂擁而至
搶著來做功德，搶著來聞法，搶著來求這個求那個
我們不知道大師父的證量，但好像Ajahn Brahm 曾說，時常都有大量人來求自己幫他們念誦
Ajahn 說他快要買一個錄音的機械人了
誰打電話來，就按一下，完成😂
所以這並不是件舒適的事情
有時他們連休息的時間都不夠呢
連入深定享受禪悅，充一充電都不能
雖然我們很可憐，但大師父或許比我們更可憐.....
Actually, being a great master is a very demanding role.
As they say, "With great ability comes great responsibility."
When a mind attains permanent liberation from all suffering—whether human or divine beings—they come flocking in droves,
scrambling to make merit, eager to hear the Dhamma, rushing to ask for this and that.
We don’t know the depth of a great master’s realization, but Ajahn Brahm once joked that he constantly gets swarmed by people asking for blessings.
He said he was almost ready to buy a recording robot—
whoever calls, just press a button, and done! 😂
So, it’s truly not a comfortable position.
Sometimes, they don’t even have enough time to rest,
let alone enter deep stillness to enjoy jhānic bliss and recharge.
As pitiful as we may be, great masters might be even more pitiable...
孟子說：‘惻隱之心，人皆有之’
根據古時候孟子的觀察，人人看見別人不幸時，都會生起憐憫悲憫之心
如果我們看見別人落難，不僅沒有憐憫，反而去幸災樂禍。
那我們還是否人？😂
Mencius said: 'Everyone has a heart of compassion.'
According to Mencius's observations in ancient times, when people see others in misfortune, they naturally feel pity and compassion.
If we see others in trouble and not only feel no compassion but instead take pleasure in their misfortune,
then are we still human? 😂
原諒那些傷害我們的人吧！
為什麼他們會傷害我們？
僅僅是因為他們不滿足、 不開心，才會傷害我們
一旦他們好像佛陀和阿羅漢那樣完全地滿足和快樂
他們根本就不會想要再從這個世界中取得些什麼，也自然不會惡意傷害任何人
因此應該可憐他們
Let’s forgive those who have harmed us!
Why do they hurt us?
Simply because they are discontent and unhappy, end up hurting others.
Once they are completely content and happy, like the Buddha and the Arahants,
they will no longer desire to take anything from this world, and naturally, they won’t maliciously harm anyone.
Therefore, we should feel compassion for them.
所有眾生都是可憐的
凡夫因為不知道四聖諦，所以有許多煩惱。
他們時時痛苦
雖看似快樂，卻僅僅只是強顏歡笑。
他們都受痛苦所逼迫
佛陀和他的聖弟子，雖然內心已解脫苦；
但因為慈悲，仍要疲勞地幫助眾生、 教導眾生佛法
他們仍要承受年老、 疾病、飢渴 、疲勞、疼痛、 死亡之苦
活在這個世間，只有苦
因此願一切眾生不要傷害彼此...
All beings are pitiable.
Ordinary people have many defilements because they do not know the Four Noble Truths.
They are constantly suffering.
Although they may seem happy, they are merely forcing a smile.
They are all oppressed by suffering.
The Buddha and his noble disciples, although their minds are liberated from suffering,
out of compassion, they still tirelessly help beings and teach them the Dharma.
They still endure the suffering of old age, sickness, hunger, thirst, fatigue, pain, and death.
Living in this world, there is only suffering.
Therefore, may all beings not harm each other...