四無量心 Four immeasurable mind

Question from Paris:  Can we be equanimous and at the same time, be loving and nice to people?

Ajahn Suchart:  You don’t have to use them at the same time, but you have to have them with you all the time. It’s like the tools you use under different circumstances. Like a carpenter who has to have a hammer and a saw, so he can use the tools according to his needs. The 4 Brahma-vihāra: mettā, karunā, muditā, upekkhā are like tools that you use when you get involved with people. When you interact with people, you need to have these 4 traits, but you don’t use them all at the same time.

You use mettā when you meet people. You say, ‘Hello, how are you? Happy to see you’—this is mettā.

When you see a person who needs help, you help him—this is karunā.

If you see someone is being successful, getting married or getting a raise, you congratulate him/her—this is muditā.

And if you see a person who is sick and will die in a few days and you cannot help or do anything, then you have to have upekkhā because there is nothing you can do, so you have to make your mind calm. Don’t be sad and don’t feel guilty because there is nothing you can do for that person.

These are the 4 tools you use when you interact with people.

You have to choose how to use these tools properly. Don’t use them at the wrong time. Instead of using mettā, you use equanimity: this is not right. When you meet people, you don’t say, ‘Hello,’ you don’t say, ‘Hi’ because you want to be equanimous: this is not right.  When you see people who need your help, you use equanimity: this is not correct.

When you see people need help, you use karunā (compassion). When you meet people, you show your friendliness—this is mettā. So, you have to know which tool to use.

“Dhamma in English, Jan 23, 2019.”

cred. to Ajaan Suchart Abhijāto: Dhamma for the Asking

來自巴黎的問題：我們能否既保持中捨，同時又對人慈愛友善？

阿姜蘇查特：你不必同時使用它們，但你必須隨時具備它們。這就像你在不同情況下使用的工具。好比木匠必須有錘子和鋸子，他才能根據需要來使用工具。四梵住——慈、悲、喜、捨——就像你與人互動時所使用的工具。當你與人交往時，你需要具備這四種特質，但你不會同時使用它們。

當你遇到人時，你運用慈心。你會說：「你好嗎？很高興見到你」——這是慈。

當你看到需要幫助的人，你幫助他——這是悲。

如果你看到某人取得成功、結婚或加薪，你祝賀他/她——這是喜。

而如果你看到一個生病、幾天內即將去世的人，你無法幫助或做任何事，那麼你必須保持捨心，因為你無能為力，所以你必須讓自己的心平靜。不要悲傷，也不要感到內疚，因為你對那個人無能為力。

這些就是你與人互動時所使用的四種工具。

你必須選擇如何正確地使用這些工具。不要在錯誤的時機使用它們。例如，該用慈心時你卻用捨心：這是不對的。當你遇到人時，你不說「你好」，也不打招呼，因為你想保持平靜：這是不對的。當你看到需要你幫助的人時，你卻使用捨心：這也是不正確的。

當你看到需要幫助的人時，你應該運用悲心。當你遇到人時，你表現出友善——這是慈。所以，你必須知道該使用哪種工具。

「英語佛法，2019年1月23日。」

感謝 Ajaan Suchart Abhijāto: Dhamma for the Asking

應當讓四梵住，時時刻刻住於心中

我們之中有沒有誰，

在過去中，是最近的也好，很久前的也好，

缺乏四梵住，有把他人當成敵人的想法，

想要毀掉他人？

想著嫉妒他人、想要懲罰、

想要他人犯錯時，去犯更多的錯、

有誰有嗎？

從過去開始，

直到進到這個道場來，

有過哪樣的念頭嗎？

如果有，卻沒有察覺到，

這就非常糟糕了。

意味著會去的地方是無間大地獄。

如果何時我們覺知到有，

那時就該知道明白，

“我們已經是地獄眾生了。”

不是聖者的境界，也不是沙門的境界，

不是佛教裡僧侶的境界。

事實上，我們從一開始就學習了四梵住。

如果心裡完全沒有(四梵住)，

就代表說對一個人來說已經是太惡劣了。

而且還過度的惡劣，

必須投生成為畜生、

成為阿修羅或成為餓鬼。

這些區間。

這是無間大地獄的醒心醒身的警示。

讓我們清楚知道，這樣惡劣的行為，

沒有哪個社會人們是需要的。

我們必須時時保持，應當如此的覺知。

  取自 龍婆 Lersi Lingdam Wat Thasung

《 佛法修行合集 》第7冊，第12頁

The Four Brahma Abidings should dwell in our hearts at all times. Among us, is there anyone—whether in the recent past or the distant past—who, lacking the Four Brahma Abidings, has regarded others as enemies, harboring thoughts of destroying them? Has anyone felt envy toward others, desired to punish them, or wished for them to commit more mistakes when they err? Has anyone, from the past up until entering this monastery, held such thoughts?

If such thoughts exist but go unnoticed, that is exceedingly grave. It means the destination awaiting is the Avīci Hell. Whenever we become aware of such thoughts, we should realize at that moment: "We have already become hell-beings." This is not the realm of the noble ones, not the realm of ascetics, nor the realm of monastics in Buddhism.

In truth, we have learned about the Four Brahma Abidings from the very beginning. If they are entirely absent from the mind, it signifies that a person has become excessively corrupt—so corrupt that they must be reborn as an animal, an asura, or a hungry ghost. These are the realms of existence.

This serves as a stark warning, awakening both mind and body to the Avīci Hell. Let us clearly understand that such corrupt behavior is needed by no society or people. We must maintain constant awareness, as we ought to.

Taken from Luang Por Lersi Lingdam, Wat Thasung  

*Collected Teachings on Dhamma Practice*, Book 7, Page 12

…當你們兩個這樣生活在一起——如果你們的心是善良的，我們就能解決問題。

當你懷著善良的心，眼中所見的一切都會變得美好。

若想烹煮美味的食物，首先要有一顆善良的心。

若想言語溫和，內心必先善良——唯有如此，溫婉的話語才能自然流露。

你們可曾領會其中的要義？

你們是華人——是世上最優秀的民族。

華人是善良的民族，是充滿智慧的民族。

你們很有福報，因此必須正確地修行。

隆波這樣修行——帶著慈心。

不需要刻意散發慈心直到精疲力盡，

它應當自然源自一顆善良放鬆的心。

不要像那位沙彌那樣——

他看到一隻狗跑進來，

就念誦「Sukhi dighāyuko…」

結果被狗咬了一口。

那位比丘尼養的狗咬了他。

隆波對沙彌說：

「你怎麼不給牠些點心呢？

這裡有狗零食——很好吃的。」

當隆波在森林中修行時，

從不需要念誦任何經咒。

無論隆波住在哪裡，都會在那裡放置食物。

螞蟻、白蟻——都讓牠們吃。

不需要對任何眾生念誦慈心經文。

我們只是憐憫牠們——因為牠們飢餓。

當隆波在森林中修行時——

野豬、野牛和其他動物都會過來。

隆波給牠們食物。

牠們成了隆波的夥伴。

當我們是給予者，當我們是懂得奉獻的人，

就不需要念誦任何咒語。

我們必須明白並理解。

我們要懂得憐憫他人，憐憫動物。

我們是有能力、有智慧的人。

因此我們也必須是平靜的人。

因為內心平靜與尊重他人的自由和權利——

本是一體兩面。

不要像大老闆那樣——

高高在上，像現在人說的「擺架子」。

如果我們想給狗或貓餵食，

應該要蹲下身來。

所以你們看那位香港居士——他充滿慈心。

他在香港餵養流浪狗。

當他來到泰國時，

他只是如常行走，

全村所有的狗都跟著他——十隻、二十隻跟在他身後。

隆波觀察到這一幕…

…When the two of you live together like this—if your hearts are kind, we can solve problems.

When you have a kind heart, everything you look at becomes good.

If you want to cook delicious food, you must first have a kind heart.

If you want to speak kindly, the heart must be kind first—only then can kind speech come out.

Do you somewhat catch the main point?

You are Chinese people—you are the best people in the world.

Chinese people are good people, people with wisdom.

You are fortunate. So you must practice correctly.

Luang Phor practise like this—with metta, loving-kindness.

There is no need to send out radiating metta until we become exhausted.

It must come naturally from a kind and relaxed heart.

Don’t do it like one of novices—

the moment he saw a dog running in,

he chanted, “Sukhi dighāyuko…”

and the dog bit him.

That nuns’ dogs bit him.

Luang Phor said to the novice,

“Why didn’t you give the dog some snacks?

There are dog treats—delicious ones.”

When Luang Phor went to stay in the forest like this,

there is no need to recite any chants.

Wherever Luang Phor stay, Luang Phor place some food over there.

Ants, termites—let them eat.

There is no need to chant radiating metta to anyone.

We simply pity them—they are hungry.

When Luang Phor worked in the forest like this—

wild boars, gaurs, and other animals came.

Luang Phor gave them food.

They became Luang Phor’s companions.

When we are givers, when we are people who sacrifice,

there is no need to recite any spells.

We must know and understand.

We must know how to pity others, pity animals.

We are capable and intelligent people.

So we must also be peaceful people.

Because peacefulness and respecting others’ freedom and rights—

they are the same thing.

It’s not like being a big boss—

acting superior, “posing” as they say.

If we want to give food to a dog or a cat,

we have to sit down.

That’s why you see that lay devotee from Hong Kong—he has so much loving-kindness.

He feeds stray dogs in Hong Kong.

So when he comes to Thailand,

he walks like usual,

and all the village dogs follow him—ten, twenty dogs behind him.

Luang Phor observed this…

Luang Phor Gunhah Sukhakamo

At Wat Pah Subthawee Dhammaram

Tuesday, 18 November 2568 (2025)

cred. to Kung Isarankura

Layperson: How can we develop the Four Brahmavihāras: loving-kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy, and equanimity?

Luang Phor : We must abandon the sense of self. Only then can these qualities truly arise.

People have to begin by having loving-kindness for themselves first.

If we cannot be kind to ourselves, how could we ever be kind to others?

Think good thoughts, speak good words, behave with good manners — and let go of the self.

Like this.

Whatever is unwholesome, do not dwell on it.

Because for us humans, father and mother are our very DNA — the very substance that makes us who we are.

When we hold on to the self too strongly, we cannot sleep.

And that makes the body — which comes from our parents — unable to sleep as well.

It is as if we drag our mother to commit unwholesome deeds;

it is as if we drag our father to commit unwholesome deeds.

We must train like this.

We must correct ourselves first.

This body of ours is father-and-mother.

So we breathe in with happiness,

to bring oxygen into the body;

and we breathe out to release the waste.

We must train to have loving-kindness for ourselves first.

Do you agree?

Yes — we must be kind to ourselves first.

For us human beings, we must correct ourselves and then correct others.

Do not think like that fellow Thit…

Whenever Thit… sees Luang Phor, he only complains about his child until Luang Phor’s ears ring.

Luang Phor told him, ‘That won’t do, Thit…

It’s not fair.

If you hadn’t taken a wife,

would there be any children for you to complain about?’

We must handle ourselves.

Think good thoughts, speak good words, show good manners.

Work with happiness — this is what it means to have loving-kindness.

Everyone already has their own suffering.

We should not add more to it.

The self-centred nature is coarse.

Do you agree?

居士問： 我們應如何培養四無量心——慈、悲、喜、捨？

隆波開示： 必須放下對「我」的執著，這些品質才能真正生起。世人總要先學會對自己懷有慈心，若連善待自己都做不到，又如何能善待他人？起善念、說善語、行善舉——同時放下我執。便是如此。

一切不善之法，莫駐留心間。因為對人類而言，父母即是我們的DNA，是構成生命本質的根源。當我們緊抓「我執」不放，連睡眠都不得安寧，這具源自父母的身體也隨之無法安歇。這猶如拖著母親行不善業，猶如拽著父親造惡業。

要如此修持：先修正自己。我們這具身體就是「父母」。所以歡喜地吸氣，將氧氣送入身體；緩緩呼氣，排出廢棄。要訓練自己先對自己生起慈心。可認同否？

是了——先善待自己。身為人，就要先修正自己，再修正他人。別像那位提特居士……每回見面總對隆波抱怨孩子，聽得隆波耳根生繭。隆波告訴他：「這樣不行啊，提特……有失公允。若你當初未娶妻，又何來子女讓你埋怨？」

要安頓好自己的心。起善念、說善語、顯善行。帶著歡喜心做事——這才是慈心的真諦。眾生皆已背負各自的苦痛，我們不該再為其增重。自我中心的習氣是如此粗重。可認同否？

Luang Phor Gunhah Sukhakamo

At Wat Pah Subthawee Dhammaram

Tuesday, 18 November 2568 (2025)

cred. to Kung Isarankura

我們常說：“大慈大悲觀世音菩薩”

遇到什麼事都會求祂，求這個求那個

如果求到的話，生活順風順水，我們就覺得自己有福

但其實觀音菩薩的福報比我們大上N倍

為什麼這樣說？

因為一個人要爆炸性開心滿足，到滿瀉的程度，才會把這份快樂送出去，是為慈悲

如果一個人自己在痛苦，自己都未顧好，哪有閒情逸致幫這個幫那個？

所以施比受更有福就是這個意思咯

We often chant: *"Greatly Compassionate Guanyin Bodhisattva,"*  

turning to Him for every need—praying for this and that.  

When our wishes are granted and life flows smoothly,  

we consider ourselves blessed.  

But in truth, Guanyin Bodhisattva's merits surpass ours by *countless times*.  

Why do we say this?  

Because **true compassion arises only when one's joy overflows**—  

when happiness becomes so abundant that it *must* be shared.  

How could someone drowning in their own suffering  

possibly spare energy to help others?  

This is precisely why *"It is more blessed to give than to receive."*  

Por Khao Wanchart Yimme 曾說：‘如果誰成了三果，他自己會知道說他那個心會變成很有慈悲心 ’

三果聖者有什麼特徵？ 佛陀說，他們有圓滿的戒和定，有適量的智慧 (AN3.88)

儘管不是三果聖者，但如果我們的戒是圓滿的，心時時保持在禪定的狀態，不斷看到生滅（Ajahn Golf 說‘看到不斷生滅生滅是要去到三果’ ） ；或許就能大概體驗到三果聖者是怎樣的了

這顆心有定力的滋潤，非常快樂；也因為時時看到無常生滅，會很厭倦世間，傾向於放下；心非常自在與愉快

因為心充滿著滿足感和快樂；所以很容易就能把這股快樂送出去。

看到誰都好，都會有朋友的友好感覺；這是慈

看到誰受苦，都會憐憫同情；這是悲

看到誰有成就，誰快樂，都會為他高興；這是喜

誰傷害自己，不跟自己意思做事，心也因為具足快樂而保持平靜和中捨；這是捨

假如我們的心啊，根本沒有絲毫快樂；我們就算修習慈心禪；也會好像幾乎用完的牙膏那樣，根本擠不出來。大家有試過嗎？

但當我們的心具有很強的禪定，所有的慈悲都自然而生了。

所以Ajahn Brahm 曾說，在禪修的山頂上， 止、觀與 慈心都會結合在一起。 慈悲、愛與喜悅非常強烈；我們會非常平靜，擁有很多的智慧。

這是定力的效益.....

Por Khao Wanchart Yimme once said: "If someone attains the third fruition (anāgāmī), they will know it themselves—their mind will become filled with great loving kindness and compassion."

What are the characteristics of an anāgāmī?

The Buddha said they possess perfect morality (sīla) and stillness (samādhi), along with moderate wisdom (AN 3.88).

Even if we are not yet anāgāmīs, if our morality is complete, our mind constantly abides in stillness, and we repeatedly observe arising and passing away (Ajahn Golf says, "Seeing constant arising and passing away is the level of anagami")—we might get a rough sense of what an anāgāmī’s experience is like.

This mind, moistened by stillness, is extremely joyful.

Because it constantly sees impermanence , arise and fall, it grows weary of the world and inclines toward letting go.

The mind becomes very at ease and happy.

Since the mind is full of contentment and joy, it effortlessly radiates this happiness outward:

Seeing anyone, we feel a friendly warmth--- this is Loving-kindness (mettā):

Seeing anyone suffer, we feel pity and empathy.--this is Compassion (karuṇā)

Seeing others succeed or being happy, we feel happy for them too --this is Sympathetic joy (muditā)

Even when someone harms us or acts against our wishes, the mind—saturated with happiness—remains calm and balanced. This is Equanimity (upekkhā)

If our mind lacks even a trace of happiness, trying to practice mettā meditation is like squeezing an almost-empty toothpaste tube—nothing comes out. Have you ever experienced this?

But when our mind is deeply still, all four divine abidings (brahmavihāras) arise naturally.

As Ajahn Brahm once said, At the top of meditation mountain, stillness (samatha), insight (vipassanā), and loving-kindness (mettā) come together. kindness, love, and bliss become incredibly strong. you are so still , full of wisdom.

This is the Power of stillness...

"Right self-compassion

Is no less important

Than any other form of compassion.

Self-compassion means

Carefully guarding one's mind—

Keeping it peaceful, happy, and pure,

Free from suffering

Caused by greed,

Anger, and delusion..."

「正確的慈悲自己

其重要性

不亞於其他任何慈悲。

自愛即是

善護己心——

令其安樂、清淨，

遠離苦惱，

脫離貪、

瞋、癡......」

His Holiness Somdet Phra Ñāṇasangvara,

The Supreme Patriarch of Thailand

cred. to Ajahn Golf 阿贊高爾夫 อาจารย์กอล์ฟ

Only when two hands come together can they form a complete heart.

Similarly, Ajahn Brahm often says: ‘In Buddhism, a bird always has two wings. One is compassion, and the other is wisdom.If you only have one of those wings, a bird can never fly. If it does take off it goes around in circles, never gets anywhere. So we always have to balance our compassion with wisdom.’

If there is only compassion without wisdom, helping others may sometimes harm both ourselves and them.

If there is only wisdom without compassion, one would never reach out to help others...

兩隻手合在一起，才能拼砌出完整的心

同樣地， Ajahn Brahm 常說：‘在佛教裡，一隻鳥永遠都有兩隻翼。一隻是慈悲，另一隻是智慧.若你僅有一翼，鳥兒永難翱翔。即便勉強起飛，亦只能盤旋打轉，終究無所抵達。是故我們必須平衡智慧和慈悲’

如果只有慈悲但沒有智慧，有時幫人的同時會傷害自己和傷害別人

如果只有智慧但沒有慈悲，就不會去幫人......

《慈悲就是理解別人》

如果我們修行，

我們就會慈悲。

慈悲就是理解別人，

跟眾生成為好朋友。

當我們修行時，

我們會理解我們的心，

我們同時也會理解別人的心。

一旦我們了解自己的心，

我們就能理解別人的心，

同情別人的心。

我們內心自然會升起——

大家是朋友（的心）。

而不會把別人當成敵人。

如果我們愛一個人或恨一個人，

我們的心就會起伏不定，

我們就不會有快樂。

我們想理解別人，

一定要先理解自己。

如果我們真看到內心的習氣，

我們就不會痛恨任何一個人，

因為煩惱習氣給我們帶來無窮無盡的損失。

所有被貪嗔癡籠罩的眾生，

他們真的好可憐。

因為他們不知道佛陀教導的這條路，

他們不知道的原因是他們的業，

因為他不太想去學習（佛法）。

我們有這樣的福德，

我們有機會願意學習（佛法），

我們的心就會逐漸的寧靜下來。

我們不去痛恨某一個人，

我們見到所有人都會說：

大家其實都差不多。

實際上所有人都是一樣的，

眾生都是貪嗔癡（的集合），

這個社會一直處在黑暗之中。

我們想要改變別人之前，

先要改變自己。

～隆波帕默尊者

（Luang Por Pramote Pamojjo）

《loving kindness and Compassion is Understanding Others》

If we practice, we will cultivate loving kindness and compassion. loving kindness and Compassion are understanding others and becoming good friends with all beings. 

When we practice, we will understand our own hearts, and at the same time, we will understand the hearts of others.

Once we understand our own hearts, we can understand and empathize with the hearts of others. Naturally, a sense of friendship will arise in us, and we will not see others as enemies.

If we love or hate someone, our hearts will be unstable, and we will not find happiness. To understand others, we must first understand ourselves.

If we truly see the habits of our hearts, we will not harbor hatred towards anyone, as the defilements bring us endless drawbacks. All beings overshadowed by greed, hatred, and ignorance are truly pitiable.

They do not know the path taught by the Buddha, and the reason they do not know is their karma, as they are not inclined to learn (the Dharma).

We have the fortune to have the opportunity to learn (the Dharma), and as a result, our hearts will gradually become more peaceful. We will not hate anyone; instead, we will see that everyone is actually quite similar.

In reality, all individuals are the same; beings are a collection of greed, hatred, and ignorance, and this society remains in darkness.

Before we seek to change others, we must first change ourselves.

— Luang Por Pramote Pamojjo

🟠他人的好壞，都不及我們自己的好壞重要🟠

龍婆班曾教導過：

誰人會說些什麼是他們的事。

說話的人說了些什麼，是說話的人自己的麻煩/煩惱。

誰是好是壞，不去關心。

僅關心一樣，即自己的心。

來看看自己的心，自己的心是好還是壞？

如果他人來辱罵，

去接受辱罵（去在意，記恨或生氣等），

這也是惡的。

他人來辱罵，

我們去生氣辱罵的人，

我們也是惡的。

辱罵的人，

他會是好，他會是壞，

並不重要。

重要的只有一個，

只需守護我們的心念變好，

即保持忍辱和慈悲。

摘自 龍婆Lersi Lingdam Wat Thasung

《龍婆 Wat Thasung的教導》

第24冊，第12頁

#听僧说 

🟠 The Good and Bad of Others Are Not as Important as Our Own 🟠

Luang Por Ban has taught:

What others say is their own business.

What the speaker says is the speaker's own defilements/trouble

Who is good or bad is not a concern.

Only one thing should be cared for: our own heart.

Let’s examine our own heart; is it good or bad?

If others come to insult us,

and we accept the insult (by caring, holding grudges, or getting angry, etc.),

this is also unwholesome.

If others come to insult us,

and we get angry at the insulter,

we are also unwholesome.

The one who insults,

whether they are good or bad,

is not important.

There is only one thing that matters:

we must guard our hearts and make them better,

which means maintaining patience and compassion.

Excerpted from Teacher Lersi Lingdam, Wat Thasung

"Teachings of Teacher Wat Thasung,"

Volume 24, Page 12

#Listening to Monastics

《Arahants mentality》

“…..An Arahant is one who has ended all cravings,

but still possesses the desire (to benefit others).

An Arahant has nothing to do for themselves,

as they are fulfilled and content.

Thus, they think only of what they can do for others

and to bring happiness to the world.

As the Buddha once said,

the principle of an Arahant is:

" Let Many people be benefited; let the world be shown compassion."

This means acting for the welfare and happiness of the people,

to extend kindness to all beings.

This is where the Buddha serves as a leader;

not only guiding people in self-development but also leading the noble ones

in working for the welfare of the masses.

The Buddha never stopped, for He is a true free person,

a liberated being, even internally without cravings

to hold Him back. On the contrary, He is full of desire

to do good, allowing Him to benefit others fully…." 

Somdet Phra Buddhaghosacariya

cred. to Ajahn Golf

《阿羅漢的心態》

“…..阿羅漢是已經斷除一切貪欲的人，
但仍然擁有欲望（為他人做出貢獻）。

阿羅漢不需要為自己做任何事情，
因為他們已經圓滿和滿足。
 

因此，他們只思考如何為他人做事
並使全世界幸福。
 

正如佛陀曾經所說，
阿羅漢的原則是：
「讓眾人受益，為世界顯現慈悲。」
 

這意味著為人民的福利和幸福而行動，
向所有眾生施以仁慈。

這就是佛陀作為領導者的地方；
不僅引導人們在自我發展上，還引導聖者
為大眾的福祉而努力。
 

佛陀從未停止，因為祂是真正的自由人，
是一個解脫的存在，內心甚至沒有貪欲來束縛祂。

相反，祂充滿了行善的欲望，使祂能夠充分地利益他人…。”

Somdet Phra Buddhaghosacariya

cred. to Ajahn Golf

《如何培養更多的慈悲與寬恕》

信徒：您能給我們一些如何在內心培養更多慈悲與寬恕的建議嗎？

阿姜蘇差特：你必須讓自己感到快樂。一旦你快樂，你就不需要任何人的東西。這樣你就能對每個人友善並充滿慈悲。但如果你內心不快樂，你就會向他人尋求快樂。如果得不到快樂，反而遭遇他人的瘋狂，就會生氣。因此，試著禪修，讓你的心靜下來，平靜，保持中捨的心態。你擁有的中捨越多，滿足感就越強。一旦你有了滿足感，就不需要或期望任何人的東西。

所以一切都回到我們自己身上，我們必須通過佛法來提升自己，讓自己變得平靜、快樂。一旦你變得平靜、快樂，你就不需要任何人的東西，也不會期望任何人的東西，無論別人對你怎樣，你都能接受他們。你可以把他們看作不同類型的食物。人就像水果，有的是芒果，有的是香蕉，有的是蘋果；你無法改變他們。你所要做的就是接受他們。他們就是他們。你所要做的就是與他們相處。

我總是說，秘訣在於正念。如果你有正念，你可以使自己的心靜下來，保持中捨的心態。然後，如果你有中捨的心態，你將會對他人的成功充滿慈愛、慈悲和喜悅。

所以，試著提升自己，不要試圖改變他人。這幾乎是不可能的。改變自己。一旦你改變了自己，你就能接受任何事情。

<<How to generate more compassion and forgiveness>>

Devotee: could you give some advice of how to generate more compassion and forgiveness within ourselves?

Ajahn Suchart: You have to happy in yourself. Once you are happy, you don't need anything from anybody. You can then be nice and can be compassionate to everybody. But if you are unhappy within yourself, then you will seek happiness from any people. If you don't get happiness , you get madness from other people, then you get angry. So try to develop a lot of meditation, to get your mind to become calm, peaceful and have equanimity. The more equanimity you have, the more contentment you have. When you have contentment, you don't need or expect anything from anybody.

So it always come back to ourselves, we have to develop ourselves with Dhamma, teaching of the Buddha, to become calm, peaceful and happy. Once you become calm, peaceful and happy, you don't need anything from anybody, you don't expect anything from anybody, you can take anything from anybody. They can bully you or be nice to you , whatever. You look at them like looking at different types of food. People are like fruits, some are mangoes, some are bananas,  some are apples; you can't change them. All you have to do is to accept them. They are what they are. All you have to do is to deal with them

I always say, the secret is mindfulness. If you have mindfulness, you can make your mind calm and have equanimity. Then if you have equanimity, you will have loving kindness and compassion  and sympathetic joy towards other people’s success

So try to develop yourself, don’t try to change other people. It is almost impossible. Change yourself. Once you change yourself, you can take anything

中文有一句四字詞叫‘兒女私情’

特指男女之間纏綿的戀情

這個詞其實形容得很好，男女之間的愛情幾乎都是私情

重點在這個‘私’字

不對嗎？

有些人說愛情是自私的

為什麼這樣說？ 

比方說，我們要追求這位女士或男士，就是想把他/她納為 ‘我的’ ，對嗎？

‘我的’ ‘我的’--這就是一般人所說的自私心

這種自私心顯現為許多負面情緒

例如當別人和自己的伴侶聊天去玩，自己就會憤怒，這是妒忌

有時不希望伴侶和人接觸，只准和自己一起，這是吝嗇

有時想掌控伴侶的一切，這是控制欲，或者說是貪戀權力

其實不只是愛情，人與人之間的關係，幾乎都是私情

世間大部份友誼也一樣 。 

誒～見這個人我喜歡，就也想把他納為 ‘我的’ ，對嗎？

幾乎人人都是這樣

父母與子女之間也是這樣，把對方互相視為‘我的’ 、  ’我的‘

這和愛情有什麼大分別？😂 除了愛情多了性慾在裡面外

朋友之間雖不叫‘兒女私情’， 但其實許多時也是‘男男私情’，‘女女私情’😂

這些私情是有副作用的。因為滲雜了煩惱在裡面。一旦這段關係產生變異，或失去這段關係；將會很難過，很傷心。和失戀差不多

一旦有很強烈的我執，只會對雙方構成壓力和傷害

有沒有’私情‘的感情嗎？

當然有。這是聖者的感情

例如佛陀和阿羅漢們，不會把任何關係看作是’我的‘ 

他們沒有任何私心，

單純希望任何靠近他們，甚至是整個世界的眾生都快樂，沒有痛苦。

如果他們有什麼成就，都會為他們而開心

就算他們不理睬自己，甚至是傷害自己，也不會難過

這是純潔的感情，無私的感情

The term "emotional value" has become quite popular recently. It refers to the ability to make others feel supported, accompanied, and embraced, leading to feelings of fulfillment, calmness, or happiness. If we can achieve this, we possess emotional value.

In short, having emotional value means we are useful. 😂😂

If we cannot bring happiness to others, then we are of no use. 😂

If we can, then we are useful. 😂

Even family and friends—if we are not useful, then it's bye bye. 👋👋

That's just how reality is.

So how can we provide emotional value to others? It's simple: through The Four Embracing Virtues and the Four Immeasurable Minds.

The Four Ways of Generosity are:

1.Giving and sharing.

2.Saying kind and heartwarming words.

3.Helping and giving advice when they need assistance.

4. treat them equally, sharing joys and sorrows together .

The Four Immeasurable Minds are:

1.Loving-kindness - wishing for their happiness.

2.Compassion - wishing for their liberation from suffering.

3.Empathetic joy - being happy for their joy.

4.Equanimity - remaining indifferent to their harm and neglect, without emotional reactions.

If we embody The Four Embracing Virtues and the Four Immeasurable Minds, we are truly useful. If we do not, then we are of no use at all. 😂😂

‘情緒價值’這一個詞在近期很火熱

意思就是可以讓對方感覺到被支持、被陪伴、被承接，進而產生滿足、平靜或幸福感--能如此做到我們就具有情緒價值

簡而言之，有沒有情緒價值就是我們有沒有用😂😂

如果我們不能為別人帶來快樂，那我們就沒有用😂

如果能，就有用😂

就算是家人、親戚朋友，假如沒有用就 bye bye 就這樣啦👋 👋 ～

人就是這麼現實

怎樣可以帶到情緒價值給別人？很簡單，四攝法和四無量心

四攝法是：

1. 布施饋贈

2.說好聽溫暖人心的話

3.在對方需要幫忙時幫忙和給意見

4.和他們平等共處，同甘共苦

四無量心就是

1.慈-希望他們快樂

2.悲-希望他們離苦

3.喜-為他們開心

4.捨-對他們的傷害和冷待平淡處之，不起情緒

如果我們有四攝法和四無量心，我們就很有用

如果我們沒有，就一點用都沒有😂😂

有一點可以思考的是：

如果朋友之間，親戚之間，家人之間沒有四無量心；這還算是真正的朋友、 親戚和家人嗎？

比如說：

我們完全不希望他們快樂，反倒希望他們痛苦

他們有難時我們不希望他們脫困，反而希望他們繼續苦下去

他們成功時我們不為他們開心，反而妒忌他們、厭惡他們的成就

他們一傷害我們時我們立即十倍奉還，立即斷絕關係

我們是否還算他們真正的朋友、 親戚和家人？

One thing to think about is:

If there is no Four Immeasurable Minds among friends, relatives, and family, can we still be considered others true friends, relatives, and family?

For example:

If we completely do not wish for their happiness and instead hope for their suffering,

If we do not want them to overcome difficulties when they are in trouble, but rather wish for them to continue suffering,

If we are not happy for their successes, but instead feel jealous and resentful of their achievements,

If they harm us and we immediately retaliate tenfold and cut off the relationship,

Can we still be considered their true friends, relatives, and family?

A person filled with loving kindness is a person with immense merits.

Because the Buddha said that merit is synonymous with happiness (AN 7.62).

A person must have a heart that is sufficiently content and happy in order to spontaneously feel compassion for others.

They wish for the happiness of others,

hope for their liberation from suffering,

feel joy for others' happiness,

and do not react emotionally to others' harm and indifference.

充滿慈悲的人是有福報的人

因為佛陀說，功德是快樂的同義詞（AN7.62)

一個人要內心足夠滿足與快樂；才會對他人有自動自發的慈悲

希望對方快樂，

希望對方離苦

為對方感到高興

對別人的傷害和冷漠不起情緒

佛陀曾說，假如一位比丘在彈指間修習慈心/悲心/喜心/捨心；

那他就被認為是不捨棄禪那、跟隨佛陀的教導而行,不白吃別人施食的比丘。更不用說那些多修的人(AN1.386-389)

一位出家人只要有慈悲之心，他們就真的是出家人了

例如Ajahn Golf 阿贊高爾夫 อาจารย์กอล์ฟ 那樣，總是給人一種友好朋友的感覺。有一次阿贊稀帶著一大班外國人去他的寺院裡入住，阿贊熱情地帶大家遊歷參觀他的寺院，並大概說，如果大家要來他的寺院禪修，只需要給阿贊打個訊息，阿贊就會為大家安排迎接😂

如果Ajahn Golf 知道別人有難，他都會去幫忙。例如 Por Khao Wanchart Yimme 珀考万察/白父万察 那時因為癌症而身體劇痛，阿贊也有去幫忙。知道誰人有難，他都會可憐對方。有時為了幫助別人，他連休息的時間也不夠

Por Khao Wanchart Yimme 珀考万察/白父万察 也是的；雖然是住在寺院持守十戒，沒有正式出家成為比丘；就算他身體無時無刻都在劇痛；但每當誰要他幫忙，誰問他問題；他都會慈悲地幫助解答。

Luangta Siri Indasiri - 龍達斯列 - Tham Pha Daeng Pha Nimit Temple 也很慈悲；例如有時他未來幾個月的每一天，幾乎都被無數的應邀所排滿了，都沒有空隙停下來休息。

如果誰有親近Luang Pu Boonsong Thitasaro Dhamma - 文颂大长老 ，也知道長老是很慈悲的。他很照顧每一位信徒，就算自己不是最舒服，也希望對方能夠得到功德。他到訪香港時知道原來李嘉誠先生是香港首富，便拿起他的照片，由衷地為他開心。

Luang Pu Sri 系的 Luang Por Mana 也是很慈悲的。如果有信徒有難，他都會很悲憫對方，流露出悲憫的眼神，幫助對方。

Ajah Brahm 一樣充滿慈悲。

他都不介意辛苦，很願意分享，他說：‘我來就是為了幫忙’

他也說,有些人常投訴--’他利用我！ 他佔我便宜！ ‘

但他就是愛被人利用，他就是愛被人佔便宜

如果他不被人利用，不被人佔便宜，又怎會來這裡（和世界各地開示佛法）？😂

這是佛法的態度。

隆波間夏曾讚美和鼓勵他的兩個弟子：’稀師父和耀師父已經是最好的比丘了。 他們兩個都在開始修行去除自我‘

稀師父 Sabai Ha 是很願意幫助大眾的，活躍於幫助其他大師父翻譯和弘揚佛法。如果看到有信徒落難，他都會很悲憫對方，想幫助對方。有誰傷害他都很容易就寬恕別人。

耀師父也是，如果有信徒落難，他都會流露悲憫的眼神，希望對方離苦。

所以四無量心--慈悲喜捨--就是出家人的標誌

如果誰充滿慈悲，就算他們是在家人，也會像出家人那麼高尚 

The Buddha once said that if a monk practices loving-kindness, compassion, empathetic joy, and equanimity in a snap of the fingers;

then he is considered one who does not abandon Jhanas and follows the teachings of the Buddha, being a monk who is really deserved to consume other's food offering. Not to mention those who practice even more (AN 1.386-389).

A monk with a compassionate heart is truly a monk.

For example, Ajahn Golf 阿贊高爾夫 อาจารย์กอล์ฟ always gives us a friendly vibe. Once, Ajahn Hei brought a large group of foreigners to stay at his monastery, Ajahn Golf warmly guiding everyone on a tour and mentioning that if anyone wanted to meditate there, they just needed to message him, and he would arrange a welcome and pick them up. 😂

If Ajahn Golf knows someone is in trouble, he will help. For example, Por Khao Wanchart Yimme 珀考万察/白父万察 was suffering from cancer, and Ajahn went to help him. He shows compassion for anyone in difficulty. Sometimes, in helping others, he even lacks time to rest.

Por Khao Wanchart Yimme 珀考万察/白父万察 also holds the ten precepts and lives at the monastery without formally becoming a monk. Even though he is constantly in pain, whenever someone asks for help or has questions, he compassionately assisted and was willing to answer.

Luangta Siri Indasiri - 龍達斯列 - Tham Pha Daeng Pha Nimit Temple is also very compassionate; sometimes, his schedule is completely filled with countless invitations for months, leaving no time to rest.

Anyone close to Luang Pu Boonsong Thitasaro Dhamma - 文颂大长老 knows he is very compassionate. He cares for every devotee, even if he himself is not comfortable, he hopes others can gain merit. When he visited Hong Kong and learned that Mr. Li Ka-shing is the richest man in Hong Kong, he picked up his photo and genuinely felt happy for him.

From Luang Pu Sri’s lineage, Luang Por Mana is also very compassionate. If devotees are in trouble, he shows deep compassion and helps them.

Ajahn Brahm is similarly full of compassion. He doesn’t mind hard work and is very willing to share. He says, “I come here to help.”

He also mentions that some people often complain, “He’s using me! He’s taking advantage of me!”

But he loves being utilized and loves being taken advantage of.

He said, if he were not used or taken advantage of, how could he come here (to share the Dhamma around the world)? 😂 This is the attitude of the Buddhist Dhamma.

Luang Por Ganha once praised and encouraged his two disciples: “Ajahn Hei and Ajahn Yiu have already become the best monks. Both of them are beginning to practice eliminating selfishness.”

Ajahn hei ,  Sabai Ha, is very willing to help others and is active in assisting other masters with translation and spreading the Dhamma. If he sees a devotee in difficulty, he shows deep compassion and wants to help. He easily forgives anyone who hurts him.

Ajahn Yiu is the same; if a devotee is in trouble, he shows compassionate eyes, hoping for their relief from suffering.

Thus, the Four Immeasurable minds—loving-kindness, compassion, empathetic joy, and equanimity—are the hallmarks of a monk. If someone is filled with compassion, even if they are a layperson, they can be as noble as a monk.